


Leave Your Mark

by BReads12, brightlyharry



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: A little angst, Boys In Love, Enemies to Lovers, Eventual Smut, Exes, Fall things, Flashbacks, Fluff, M/M, Moonshine, Pumpkin festival, Reconciliation, Roller Coasters, Second Chances, Slow Burn, Snow, Songwriter Louis, Vacation, fall - Freeform, kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-22
Updated: 2019-10-08
Packaged: 2020-10-25 20:24:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 67,341
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20730239
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BReads12/pseuds/BReads12, https://archiveofourown.org/users/brightlyharry/pseuds/brightlyharry
Summary: Two years ago, Louis and Harry were in love. Two years ago, Louis and Harry planned the perfect romantic getaway. For both, it was a time to connect and bask in their love. For Louis, it was a chance to honor his grandparents at the same place where they had met. For Harry, it was a time to prove that he and Louis were meant to be. Then they broke up.Now, after a year apart, Louis and Harry are forced by circumstances to take the trip together. Even though they haven’t spoken since Harry walked out. Even though Louis is nursing a broken heart and a bruised ego. Can the two put aside their past and enjoy the mountains of Tennessee? Can the two become friends again, before they kill each other? Can the two find a way back to each other among the wonders of a fall like the one Louis’ grandparents experienced years ago? Finally, can the two give each other a second chance or is the mark they left on each other to be a scar forever?





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Every chapter starts with a flashback which will be italicized.

** Prologue **

_“So, how do you think he’s doing?” Harry places a hand on his boyfriend, Louis’ knee as Louis is driving them down a country road._

_“He’ll be doing better than me if you drop that pie, Harry. Please, two hands. I appreciate the comfort, but you can save that for once we’ve safely given the pie to my grandpa. Then I’ll take all the snuggles you want to give me.” Harry gives a fake huff as he removes his hand from Louis and reattaches it to the pie container. “Thanks for coming today, Harry. My sister said Grandpa was sounding lonely and I’m just worried about him. My grandma’s death hit him harder than we expected. It shouldn’t have, we should have known, but still. I just, I still just can’t believe she’s really gone.”_

_“I know. Grandma Edna was the nicest woman I’ve ever met. She was so accepting and sweet, never said an unkind word to me.” Harry gives a soft smile to Louis, because he knows his man misses his grandma. Harry misses Louis’ grandma too._

_“Grandma never had an unkind word for anyone. Well, maybe Grandpa when he was acting up.” Louis gives a smirk as they turn into his grandfather’s drive. “Is that man outside on a ladder cleaning his gutters? I’m gonna kill him!”_

_Louis parks the car and is out of it before Harry can undo his seatbelt. “Grandpa! What do you think you’re doing?”_

_“I think I’m trying to clean these damn gutters out, so I don’t get soaked in tomorrow’s storms. But I don’t know if I’ve got it all. Damn thing is so high up.”_

_“Grandpa come down. I’ll do that for you.” Louis is standing at the base of the ladder and his grandfather looks down at him and gives him a look so much like one Louis gives Harry that Harry chuckles from behind Louis._

_“Louis. I love you boy, but we both know you can’t reach this.” That comment has Harry full on barking out a laugh._

_“Harold. That isn’t funny.”_

_“Yes, Louis. It is. But here, Grandpa William. Let me finish that for you. Why don’t you and Louis go inside and make us some tea to go with our pie?”_

_“Pie? Did you say you young’uns brought pie?” Grandpa William starts his way slowly down the ladder._

_“Yes. It’s pumpkin. Your favorite,” Louis says. Harry hands the pie to the older man and Louis in turn hugs his grandfather. Then Louis steers the older man toward the door. “It’s Grandma Edna’s recipe. Go on in, I’ll be just behind you.” He turns to Harry. “Don’t fall off the ladder, ok?”_

_“Louis! How dare you imply I’m clumsy.”_

_“Baby, I’m not. I’m saying it outright. Don’t break your bambi legs. If I bring you back damaged, I don’t get my deposit back.” Louis laughs as he follows the pie smell his grandfather carried into the house. Harry just shakes his head and gets himself up to the top of the ladder to clean out the last of the gutters._

_Thirty minutes later, Louis brings his grandfather and Harry a cup of tea and sits beside Harry, placing a hand on his boyfriend’s knee. He smiles at his grandfather and cannot help but notice the fine lines around those piercing blue eyes, blue eyes that—so like his own—have a sadness they have never had before. He watches his grandfather take a sip and then slowly, William starts speaking._

_“Louis, Harry, I have so much I want to share. You two are such fine, young men. And I see the love you have for each other. You remind me of myself and your Grandmother, my dearest Edna. I miss her. She wanted me to talk to you about the pumpkins. You just started making her pie recipe, and I must say, this pie is almost as good as hers, definitely the closet I’ve had. Anyway, she taught herself how to make these pies because we met and fell in love at the Pumpkin Festival in Gatlinburg, Tennessee. We were both there with our families and met at the patch, trying to pick out our pumpkins. Edna found this really big one, but she didn’t have the money for it.” William smiles, lost in his own memories._

_“So, I offered her all the money I had, and she was able to get her big pumpkin. I tell you, we fell in love over that gourd and we went back every year. That’s even where we had our honeymoon.” He shakes his head and sighs. “So many happy memories. I hope you two can experience that festival at least once. Your grandmother did, too. She even left you a list of activities to do and sights to see.” _  


*****

  
Saying Louis is dreading making this phone call is the understatement of the century. Having his teeth pulled out with pliers, one-by-one, would be less painful. At least then, he’d have the nitrous oxide to numb the ache. He is making this phone call with all his feelings fully intact, front and center. Feelings he hasn’t let surface in a year. The thought of hearing Harry’s voice scares him in a way. He’s finally gotten over the sadness of his loss. He’s picked up the pieces and has managed to get over Harry Styles.

This stupid vacation mess is threatening to turn everything on its head. Hopefully, Harry will just send him the money for his half and opt out and Louis can give Harry’s ticket to someone else. Maybe Niall. He thinks Niall would enjoy going to a pumpkin festival. Anything with food is a good time for Niall.

He and Harry had it planned out perfectly at the time. They’d paid for the travel arrangements at the start of their senior year of college. It was something they’d discussed doing when they finally graduated and had the time. They booked tickets and a cabin for a week in Gatlinburg. Gatlinburg was known for having a weeklong Pumpkin Festival every September. The September after they graduated was going to be theirs.

Until it wasn’t. Until their beliefs in happily ever after faded like the ending credits of the rom coms Harry used to force Louis to watch. Until the stress piled onto their shoulders making Louis feel smaller than the 5’ 9” he claims to be. Until Harry packed his bags and left him alone in the apartment they shared.

Not a word has been exchanged between them since they fell apart. They said their goodbyes that evening and shut that door for good. It has been a year since he’s had any contact with Harry and that is all about to change.

His thumb hovers over the phone icon on the contact in his phone as he struggles to talk himself into pressing the button. He never deleted Harry’s number, but it wouldn’t have mattered if he did or not. That number is forever burned into his memory.

“Just get it over with. He probably won’t answer once he sees your name on the screen.” He presses the call button, expecting to listen to the dial tone drone on until Harry’s voicemail picks up. He’s wrong as Harry picks up right after the first ring.

“Louis?” His voice comes out as deep and slow as Louis remembers. It’s the same voice he used to listen to day in and day out, the voice he couldn’t wait to hear after a long day of class lectures.

Louis looks to the ceiling, hoping to find something to say back written up there. Harry picked up much quicker than he’d anticipated, leaving him no time to get his thoughts in order.

“Louis, are you okay?” Harry asks. He sounds out of breath or like he’s standing outside. The sound of wind is swirling into the speaker.

“I- I’m fine, yeah.” He clears his throat. “You know it’s almost September. The trip we planned. I tried to sell it back, but since we bought it in advance, the airline wouldn’t refund me and the manager at Kodak Cabin said there’s a three-hundred-dollar cancellation fee,” he pauses and scratches at the scruff on the side of his jaw. He could really use a shave but hasn’t found the motivation. “I tried to sell them, too. I asked everyone I know, but get this, no one wants to go to a pumpkin festival.”

“Why are you telling me this?” Harry doesn’t sound rude when he says it, honestly just confused.

“Are you planning on going?”

“Hell no. Louis,” he says his name in a breath of annoyance just like he used to when Louis kicked his shoes off at the front door after he had told Louis countless times to put them in the closet. “Why would I go on that trip?”

“I didn’t think you would, but I couldn’t sell the trip. So, I need you half of the funds.”

Harry scoffs. “Wait, you’re serious? You really expect me to pay for a trip I’m not even going on?”

“I tried to sell it. I told you that. Why should I pay for your part of a trip you aren’t going on?”

“Because you paid for it when we were together. It was a gift.”

“Well, we’re not together anymore and I need your half,” Louis interrupts, spitting the words out between clenched teeth. “You can write me a check, send it through PayPal, MoneyGram, however you please and you’ll never have to hear from me again.”

“I don’t have fifteen hundred dollars, Louis.” Harry informs him.

“What do you plan on doing about it then?” Louis questions, his voice coming out a little softer than before. He can’t help but wonder if Harry is having financial troubles with that admission. Taking care of Harry has been a sixth sense for him. It’s what he did.

“I guess you’ll see me at the airport next week. Flight leaves at 8 am, right?”

“What? You’re not serious?” Louis rushes out, appalled. In no scenario of this conversation was Harry supposed to agree to go.

“It was our trip, and I can’t reimburse you for my part. No need for it to go to waste.”

“Nevermind, fuck the money. I don’t want it,” Louis spits out, starting to do damage control. He can’t go on this trip with Harry. No way. “It’ll be my loss. Sorry I bothered you. Have a nice life.”

“No, I’m going. Just like we planned. We’ll see everything, go to the festival, come home, and move on. Since I can’t give you money for it, I can at least pay you with my presence.”

“Are you mad? You’ve actually stumbled on your bambi legs one too many times and bumped your head, haven’t you? This is a disaster waiting to happen,” Louis exclaims. “Like a category five hurricane kind of disaster.”

“There are no hurricanes in Tennessee, Louis. I’ll see you then. All we can do is make the most of this.”

Louis would like to make a fist and hit Harry in the head with it, but that would involve seeing him. And it looks like that’s already on the itinerary, and all too soon.


	2. Sunday

_"You sure you're going to be able to do this, H? I don't want to book this if you can't go with me," Louis says, looking up from his laptop where Harry is laying to his right. "You don't have any premade plans you've forgotten about? What if your mom calls and wants you to come home for a visit? What if-"_

_Harry leans up and takes Louis' face in both of his hands and kisses his mouth so forcefully their lips make a loud smack. The kiss is to shut him up, but also because he's beautiful like this. Louis is all soft edges._

_His gentle fingers are picking the frayed denim of his cut off shorts. There are lines by his eyes from smiling so hard they almost shut entirely with the fond glances he gives Harry. He's as soft as Harry's old Rolling Stones shirt he currently has on that's a little big on him. Harry won't point that out, but it's so big, it's showing off the prominence of his collar bones. Harry is tempted to scrape his teeth across them. He'll save that for later though._

_Gone is the tough outer shell Louis puts on every morning before facing the world, where his sass and quick wit are front and center. His mischievous ways and perfectly timed jokes have gained him many friends on campus. People go out of their way just to say hi to his boy. Harry often catches himself just staring at Louis, admiring him and wondering which stars aligned just right and allowed him to have this man all to himself. He could hang off of every word that comes out of Louis’ mouth. It makes Harry feel even luckier that Louis is his and that he's one of the few that get to see him like this._

_"I'll be there. Nothing will interfere with me being there with you. Not even my mother," Harry says, watching as Louis lifts a brow with amusement._

_"You'd tell your mother you weren't seeing her for me? You? The biggest mama's boy there is?"_

_"Hey! You're one to talk," Harry replies, digging his long fingers into Louis' stomach which has Louis squirming to get away instantly. Louis barely has time to sit his laptop to the side before Harry's up on his knees and hovering over Louis as he tickles him. "Say you're a bigger mama's boy than me. Say it or I won't stop."_

_"In your dreams!" Louis lets out between fits of laughter. Harry feels Louis' legs slip around his waist, their hips bumping against one another's and that's enough to halt Harry's fingers in their tracks._

_Harry looks down and sees the triumphant smirk Louis is wearing. Louis knows what he's doing. Louis knows how to play him like a fiddle. He knows what to do with his hands, knows how to touch him to make Harry concede. Louis knows how to get his way, but Harry doesn't mind giving it to him._

_"You are my dream," slips out of Harry's mouth. He tucks his bottom lip between his teeth as he continues staring down at Louis._

_"You've got it bad, Styles. I feel for you," Louis teases, bringing his hand up to the back of Harry's head, carding his fingers through his hair. He'd been meaning to get it cut, but Louis has become addicted to running fingers through it so he's afraid the petting will cease if he cuts it. He's starting to like the idea of letting it grow out even longer than what it is now._

_"I've got it so bad," Harry agrees with ease. He shifts his hips forward and slightly grinds his crotch against Louis'. He leans down and mouths kisses up Louis' neck to the shell of his ear. "Do you really feel me, Louis?" he asks in the most seductive voice he can muster. He grins to himself when he feels the hardness in Louis' shorts and he shifts his own hips forward to chase the friction, the fingers in his hair tightening._

_"You need to get off," Louis breathes out._

_"I know, Lou. I'm aching for you. Are you in the mood to get off too? I think you are. I feel you hard for me.” _

_Louis’ hands stop moving in his hair and instead, tug at the strands until his head tilts backwards and his eyes meet the blue ones of the man laid out underneath him, which are lit with amusement. A laugh comes out of his mouth and Harry's sure if he tossed his heart in the air, it would burst into a million sparks like a firework._

_"That's not what I meant. I mean you really need to get off of me. I'm trying to book our trip. I know you wouldn't want to distract me from booking what is probably the most important trip we will ever take," Louis says. _

_Harry rolls off of him and back to his side of the bed, reaching a hand down to try to adjust himself. "Oh no, absolutely not," he answers, his tone serious. "I'm just going to take care of this myself. I won't bother you." He smirks and Louis whacks his arm with a limp hand._

_"Behave and I'll handle it later. I want to get the details of this all sorted out. The cabins we’re staying in, they fill up quickly. People book reservations at least six months in advance." Louis grabs his laptop from where he'd laid it when Harry attacked him. "I've already reserved us parking at the pumpkin festival, and reserved our car. All that's left is booking the cabin and the flights."_

_Harry sits up leaning closer to Louis to see the screen. "Those are the cabins you want to stay in? They’re beautiful. Look at the view."_

_Louis grins as he clicks through a few more of the pictures. "Perfect view of the mountains. We get our own balcony too. Would be much cheaper to find a roadside motel for us to stay in, but I think we should do this right and splurge on it," Louis says as he shrugs his shoulders, clicking on the screen until he finds the page to book the cabin. Harry's eyes widen when he sees just how much splurging Louis' is thinking here._

_"You're sure about this?" he questions._

_"Yeah, I've been saving for this for a while now. You deserve to be spoiled and that's what I'm going to do to show you how much I love you and how much I appreciate you for taking this trip with me. I don't know just anyone else that would be willing to fly off just for a pumpkin festival."_

_Harry notices the faintest blush on Louis' face when he says that. He rests his big palm on one of Louis' shorts-covered-thighs and squeezes. He's sure he'd fly around the world twice and back for any fruit or vegetable event for Louis. Anything important to Louis is important to him. Harry wonders if Louis will think the little navy box hidden in the pocket of his luggage in the closet is as important as it was to Harry, himself when he saw it in the jewelry store. Surely, he'll find out soon enough._

*****

** Sunday **

Louis heaves a heavy sigh as he stares at the empty seat beside him on the plane. Every so often he glances up and looks at the passengers boarding the plane. Leave it to Harry to miss the first-class boarding. He still cannot believe that asshole is coming. After everything that Harry put him through, coming on this trip is the epitome of bad taste. So is Harry. Asshole.

“Louis.”

Louis looks up into the green eyes he has sworn he would never look at again.

“Harold.”

Take off is not easy. Louis gulps the champagne they offer him and clutches the seat handles as the plane bounces down the runway and lifts into the air. Not even leaves turn the shades of green that Louis does during takeoff, though part of it is from the nervous stomach he has sitting so close to Harry again.

Harry. That jerk has the nerve to sit beside Louis with a smirk and look relaxed. Hell, he looks like he is enjoying himself! What kind of nerve does this guy have? He could have the decency to at least look awkward. This situation is very awkward. Right?

“Louis.”

“Harry.”

“Hey, you got off the Harold mark. I must have done something right.” That damn dimple pops on Harry’s cheek and Louis would rip his heart out if he could since it betrays him and falls somewhere near his feet.

“Don’t push your luck Styles.”

“Look, I just want to say” Harry begins but Louis cuts him off.

“I don’t really want to talk. I wasn’t expecting you to come, so let’s just pretend we don’t know each other ok? You sure have made a career out of that.”

“Louis.”

“I have to go to the lavatory. Excuse me.” Louis pushes himself up and heads to the first-class bathroom. Once locked in, he splashes water on his face and takes several deep breaths. “Pull it together Tommo. You’re going to let him know how much you still care, then he’ll stomp all over you again.”

There is a knock on the door as the flight attendant tells him it is time for takeoff and he needs to return to his seat. Louis takes a deep breath and walks back to his seat, crosses in front of Harry—and if he accidentally steps on those huge, Chelsea boot clad feet—well then it really is not an accident, and sits down.

“Can I talk now?” Harry offers a smirk at Louis and if Louis’ stomach could swoon right there, it would. To maintain the calm he most assuredly does not feel, Louis turns his cool blue eyes to Harry and stares.

“So, ok. Yeah…I guess that was a yes.” Harry takes a deep breath and the moth on his chest heaves up and down, clearly visible through the thin cream silk shirt he is wearing. “Um, listen. About the, uh, the breakup.”

“I really do not want to talk about that right now. Harry, listen to me. You’re here because we had no other option, unfortunately. But for the sake of my sanity, I do not want to hear about your reasons. Keep that shit to yourself.”

Louis pops in his headphones and closes his eyes and once airborne, he reclines his seat to enjoy the quiet. Harry sighs heavily and accepts the offered glass of champagne from the flight attendant and takes a sip before he too closes his eyes.

*****

Tennessee has never been colder. Louis knows this because his cold-hearted ex, who is bent over in baggage claim searching for his luggage, probably brought a cold front in with him. Louis huff and folds his arms across his chest, tapping his foot impatiently.

Louis had rushed off the plane the moment he could and wasted no time huffing his bag off the belt. Harry had gotten distracted by the Zen like plant set up; complete with rocks sitting on top a waterfall and pink flowers accenting it set up in the middle of the airport hallway. Louis knew the moment he passed it that Harry would become enraptured with it. Harry used to love yoga, peace, tranquility and all that shit Louis has too much energy to sit still and enjoy.

Grabbing a red suitcase off the belt, Harry sits it on the ground, pulls out the handle and strolls over his way, his attention focused on a piece of paper clutched between his ringed fingers. All Louis can focus on is that red suitcase. The memory causes Louis to break out in a cold sweat.

Their first Christmas together, Louis had gotten Harry the travel case. Days and days were spent preparing the perfect gift for his then boyfriend. The suitcase itself was quite a nice gift, but Louis was aiming to please. Every zippered pocket and pouch inside and outside of it had a gift inside it. Harry's goofy grinning face comes to the forefront of Louis’ mind. He'd been giggling the entire time he peeked inside a different pocket, pulling out another gift. He'd pecked Louis' cheek with every new item. Louis had been happy. Louis had been loved. Now, well, he's here in Tennessee doing the best he can, even though his actual heartbreaker is standing in front of him.

"Look at this! We're not that far from Louisville," Harry says with a lightness in his voice. He glances up from his map and wiggles his brows at Louis. "Wanna take a detour and go to Louisville?"

Louis rolls his eyes because he's dealing with an actual child. "No detours. We need to find the line to pick up our rental car keys," he says as he starts walking towards what he hopes is the correct line. Harry follows a few steps behind him still looking at the map. "I thought Louisville was in Kentucky," he adds on.

"There's a Louisville, Tennessee, too. It's only ten minutes away," Harry says, his voice going higher at the end like he's trying to convince Louis. "There's not much there, but how often do you get to go to a place with your name in it?"

The lady behind the counter greets him, so he doesn't have to tell Harry to shove it again. Louis hands over his information to the friendly brunette and she types away on her computer for a moment before passing him a set of keys.

"Thank you," Louis says, taking the keys. He turns his head to the side, trying to read the logo on the keychain.

"No problem. Enjoy Tennessee. The doors at the end of this hall will lead you to the rental car lot," the lady calls out.

Under different circumstances, he thinks he would enjoy Tennessee, but as for now, this state is causing him nothing but anguish and annoyance. Louis gives a tight-lipped smile before spinning on his toes and heading off, leaving Harry to struggle to play catch up again.

"Can you please slow down? Jesus, you're fast for someone with such short legs."

That gets Louis attention and he whips around, finger already in the air and pointing at Harry. It seems Harry still knows just what buttons to push. "Don't fucking go there."

"Quiet down. You're going to get us arrested cursing in here."

"I wish you would get arrested. Just stop being a pain in my ass, please," Louis demands. Harry's eyes grow and his lips curve into an amused smirk. Louis turns back around and starts stomping off before Harry can dare bring light to the unintentional innuendo. How dare Harry? How dare he think he has the right to smile about something Louis said? Louis didn't get to smile when he walked out of that fucking door and never came back, and here Harry is still acting like Mr. Perfect. Looking at Louis must not sting Harry the way it does Louis when he looks at Harry. If Louis can guess, he thinks Harry's acting like walking out that door a year ago was the best thing to happen to him. 

Louis pushes through the door leading to the parking lot outside, not bothering to hold it for Harry and hits the unlock button on his key. The lights flash on a sleek, black Range Rover and Louis hums in surprise and can't help but grin. He's never driven such a luxury vehicle before so he's excited. Heading to the car, he lifts the back hatch open, biceps straining when he leans forward to haul his suitcase into the back.

"This is a nice ride. Was this car part of the original plan?" Harry asks, and Louis is back to ignoring him, putting a hand on his hip, the other hand shading the sun from his eyes, trying to find anything more interesting to look at than Harry.

"Real mature, Louis. Hand me the keys, and we can get a move on."

"I beg your fucking pardon?" Louis scoffs. "You're not driving."

"Why should you get to drive?"

"This is my trip. You're the unwanted guest."

For the first time since they've seen each other, Harry actually looks hurt. His brows furrow and his full bottom lip pokes out. Flashes of the thousands of times he's done that to Louis when he wanted to get his way filter through his mind. It always worked back then, but no way in hell would it be working right now.

Almost as fast as it came, the hurt leaves Harry's eyes and exasperation replaces them. His large nostrils flare and Louis can almost hear the click of Harry’s jaw when it tightens before he spits out, "You've never been here before. You're terrible with directions. We're going to get lost. You know you're a shit driver, just admit it." 

"At least I'm not a shit person," Louis fires back, feeling guilty the second the words fly out of his mouth. "Harry, I- I didn't mean that. I'm just tired. Look,-"

Harry starts shaking his head, cutting Louis off. "I really don't want to talk anymore," he echoes the' words Louis had said on the plane and rounds the car on the passenger side.

Louis is surprised Harry doesn't slam the door when he gets it. He should have. Louis would have if Harry had said that to him.

He leans his head back against the rover and takes in the Tennessean air. He survived the two-hour flight, but now comes the first real test. Being completely alone and locked in a car with a distant and disgruntled Harry for more than an hour.

*****

“You’re going the wrong way.”

“No, I am not.”

“Yes, you really are. The sign said Gaitlinburg, left. As in the other left.” Harry looks at Louis, then out the window. “I’m pretty sure you’re taking us into East Carolina.”

“Are you trying to piss me off? Seriously? First of all, it’s Gatlinburg. And as you know, there is no East Carolina. Now, let me drive in peace. You can’t be silent for an hour drive and then decide to tell me how to drive.”

“You’re the one who was being an asshole. Why should I speak to you when you’re acting like a child?” They pass a sign that says Cherokee, North Carolina is thirty miles away and Louis lets out a loud cuss word and pulls over to the side of the road.

“Do you see the map?” Louis looks around behind him and as he turns, Harry turns, both of them brushing together, shoulder to shoulder. Louis freezes and so does Harry, eyes locked. “Sorry. I’ll let you look. In the meantime, I’ll turn around.”

Louis shifts again, holding his breath as he touches Harry again. As he does, an image plays in his head of happier times, when a touch from Harry was enough to turn his insides to jelly and make Louis smile as if the entire world was held in that touch. But that was then, and this is now. And Louis can’t be thinking about Harry and his touches, because he’ll never get anywhere if he does.

“Um, at the risk of, um, losing my head. If you turn that way,” Harry points back the way they came, “And turn onto Highway 23, we should find the cabin soon.”

Louis sighs and does indeed turn the way Harry tells him. Shaking his head at the fact that Harry is not at all affected by the touch, Louis quietly follows the highway and eventually they do find their cabin. Thankfully, Louis’ little detour did not take them too terribly long over their schedule and they arrive at the Kodiak Cabin number 1294 a half hour later than their reservation.

*****

The cabins look just as glorious as they did in the pictures Harry remembers them scrolling through last year. They're just as nice and definitely a splurge. The view is even more captivating in person. Their cabin is one of many overlooking the Great Smoky Mountains. It's endless landscape for miles and miles, so picturesque, it looks like some famous painter’s masterpiece hung up before his eyes.

Inside the cabin is just as nice as the outside. The kitchen is spacious and connected to the living area that has the coziest looking beige couch Harry's ever seen and a fireplace along the center of the wall with a TV hanging in the center. Hung on the wall to the left is a large painting of two black bears stealing a drink from the river that the waterfall in the back is keeping filled. Harry's grateful that it's just a painting and there's not a big bear head mounted up in what he assumes is a common theme in cabins. He's not fond of animal harming or displaying them like trophies.

Harry is alone looking out the glass door that leads to the balcony. He's not sure where Louis ran off to. They haven't been here long, but Louis seemed eager to get away from him ever since they walked through the door.

"There's three bedrooms," Louis voice cuts in as he appears from around the corner. "I took the master room at the end so, you can have either of the two left.” Harry takes note that Louis barely makes eye contact as he moves further into the kitchen, opening the cabinets. "We'll need to stock the cabinets soon. They're empty. Good thing I brought my own tea."

Harry watches him pull out a tea bag from the pocket of his hoodie and start busying himself with filling a pan with some water and putting it on the stove.

"You don't have anything planned for today right? I was thinking about exploring a little. I saw some trails when we were pulling up I'd like to check out."

Louis hums in acknowledgment and doesn't look away from his pot of water that's starting to boil. “No plans for today. Just settling in.”

"Do you want to come with me?"

The look on Louis' face is one of surprise, like he thought Harry would run outside and streak naked in the nippy weather before civilly inviting him to go anywhere after the mess that has been their journey to Gatlinburg. Harry's not completely sure why he asked Louis to join him. He knows Louis loathes nearly every form of physical activity unless it involves a soccer ball, but he thought this would be his way of trying to make peace and find a common ground. The longer they stay in this weird limbo, the more awkward this is going to be as the week progresses. He figures he deserves credit for at least trying.

"I don't like hiking."

"I know. Well, sometimes you went hiking with me before." Harry scratches the back of his head not sure what to say next, but then, something insane happens. Something that does briefly make Harry consider streaking outside. Louis laughs. Louis laughs and it doesn't seem laced with any malice. Harry knows it’s a genuine laugh, having heard the sound too many times to forget it, like the lyrics to one of his favorite songs.

"Do you remember that time you made me go on that couples’ camping retreat with your yoga buddies?" Louis laughs louder, his hand moving to his stomach now as it shakes with every chuckle. Harry groans out loud because he knows where Louis is going with this.

"Don’t remind me. In fact, I think I remember telling you to never bring it up again."

"You do remember! Aw, Harry, don't be that way." Louis' shaking finally subsides enough to grab the pot and pour water into the mug he's laid out. He picks up the mug and starts dunking his tea bag in as he turns back around to face Harry. "I told you that was an active bee hive."

"You weren't exactly one with nature. I didn't think you actually knew what you were talking about," he says with a pout, clearly remembering how he drug Louis on the hike with him. They had come across a beehive. He'd never seen one in real life, and he was curious. Big mistake.

"I saw a bee hovering over it. I tried to warn you, but no, you thought you were right and I was wrong," Louis says with a smile so Harry thinks he's not trying to make some kind of jab towards their failed relationship, where the petty ‘who's wrong’ and ‘who's right’ argument got the best of them on occasion.

Taking a sip from the tea cup in his hand, Louis licks his lips. Harry can see two faint creases forming on either side of his eyes when he gives Harry a small grin over the mug. "Those bees wouldn't have swarmed you and made you run off flailing like an idiot if you'd just trusted me."

"True," Harry mutters, that being the only world he can get out even though he wants to say more. He wants to make some cheesy comment about how he's glad he was wrong and the bees chased him because the memory of it made Louis laugh and how those memories are sacred to him now, since memories are all they share anymore. He can't though.

"I think I'll stay here and nap. I'm tired as shit. Avoid any and all bee hives and please do not get eaten by a bear. I don't want to have to deal with getting your mangled body back home," Louis says as he rounds the kitchen island, cradling the mug in both his tiny hands.

"No promises," Harry says as he tries not to notice the soft sway of his ex's body in his sweats as he's leaving the kitchen. He tries not to notice the almighty curve of Louis' backside. He forces his eyes upward, but he can't help but feel the pull to Louis, the need to stare at him because he's familiar. Being here with him now, even though they've hardly done anything but fight or ignore each other, it's not awkward. It's rarely awkward with Louis.

"Louis?" he calls out right as Louis reaches the bottom step of the stairs. Louis looks over at him.

"I do. Trust you, I mean. I do."

Louis doesn't say a word and he's swiftly jogging up the stairs before Harry can attempt to read the expression on his face.

*****

Despite the cold temperature, thirty five degrees according to Harry’s phone, he’s sweating. Bundled in his active tee with his Danny’s Donuts hoodie over that, wetness is pooling around his neck from his exertion. The jog was two miles each way, and it really did help his mood. He feels more at ease, his tight muscles from the tense drive up to the cabin feel relaxed at last and the view of the mountains and trees from the trails had made it easier to keep pushing himself to run farther. The fog that had settled in his head had seeped out of his ears, leaving him feeling refreshed.

Opening the door of the little mom and pop grocery market, he steps in, tugging his earphones from his head, letting the wires rest around his neck. They need groceries, and buying enough to get them started will hopefully keep him in Louis’ good graces.

He grabs a basket and starts heading to one of the five aisles in the store. Since the store is small, there’s not a whole lot for him to choose from, but he is able to get enough. He even tosses in a box of coco puffs—Louis’ favorite cereal—and a fresh jug of milk. Back in their college days, Louis practically lived on cereal. Harry remembers him eating it for dinner every night for a whole month when Harry had an evening class that kept him from getting home early enough to cook for Louis.

With a full basket, he heads to counter to pay. The older woman at the register slowly begins going through his items, making small talk as she does. Harry smiles back because he loves the elderly, he does, but he wishes she would pick up the pace just a bit. His clothes are sticking to him, and a hot shower is calling his name.

Finally, she reads off his total and he hands over the correct bills and grabs the four bags he managed to get and heads out again. The walk back to the cabin from here is roughly ten minutes so thankfully, his tired arms don’t fall off under the weight of the bags.

As soon as Harry walks in, he heads to the kitchen and drops the bags on the island counter. H lifts both his hoodie and shirt over his head in one pull. He’s still hot. Louis must be freezing already because Harry can feel the heat blowing at full blast from the vent above his head. He pants like a dog for a moment, feeling like he’s smothering.

It never took much for Louis to get cold. He used to steal Harry’s sweatshirts and bundle himself in them. Harry always found it endearing so he couldn’t even pretend to be bothered.

Shaking the thought from his head, Harry opens the fridge and pulls out a water bottle, chugging nearly half of it in one drink.

He stops drinking when he hears a knocking sound followed by a curse coming from the doorway, he turns his body and sees the backside of Louis standing on one leg, cradling one of his knees in his hands.

“Louis? You alright?” Harry asks, worry in his tone.

Louis turns then and Harry doesn’t miss the pinkness on his cheeks or Louis flicking his eyes down Harry’s body quickly before locking his gaze back on his face.

“Knocked my knee against the wall. Might bruise a little but other than that, I’m fine,” Louis replies tightly. His eyes narrow and he looks slightly irritated now, catching Harry by surprise.

“I stopped by the store and got us a few things. You must be hungry by now. Got the stuff to make us tuna wraps for lunch. They didn’t have a full grocery stock, but I did what I could.”

Louis moves to the bags, starting to pull things out and Harry leans back against the counter to watch him. A grin forms on Harry’s face when he sees Louis lift the cereal out of the bag and smile at the box. It’s just cereal. Harry knows that, but it seems like the peace offering worked.

That lasts until he pulls out the bundle of bananas. Louis holds them up, his other hand resting on his hip as he levels his icy cold stare Harry’s way. Harry blinks and grips his water bottle tighter.

“Did you forget I’m allergic to bananas? Why would you buy these?” Louis tosses the bananas a little too roughly to the counter and cocks a hip as both hands move to his waist. “I didn’t think you ate them anymore either.”

“I don’t. I mean I didn’t, but I started eating them again,” Harry explains looking down to the tiled floor, with a shameful expression. After they’d broken up, he started purchasing his old favorite fruit again. He chances a look up at Louis and he thinks Louis must have heard the unspoken thought.

“Fine. Eat your fucking bananas. Thanks for the cereal.” He pops the tab on the cereal and marches out of the kitchen, with the box clutched against him like he’s afraid Harry is going to take it away from him.

Harry lets out a deep sigh. No matter what he does, he can’t seem to win. He’s messing this up with everything he does and he’s running out of ways to fix things with Louis getting unreasonably angry over every little thing.

Walking out of the kitchen, he finds Louis sitting on the couch with his legs tucked underneath him, eating dry cereal straight from the box. He pauses with his hand halfway to his open mouth. “What do you want?”

“It’s just fruit, Louis. You’re letting yourself get pissed over fruit.” He starts to run his hand through his hair only to find it’s still pulled up in his bun from jogging. “I don’t know how to win with you, Lou. I’m trying, but it’s our first day here and I feel like you want to rip my head off.”

Louis lifts his brows and he shrugs like he’d actually considered doing just that. Harry continues. “What can I do? Tell me how to make this right where you can enjoy this trip.”

“Stop pissing me off for starters,” Louis smarts off and Harry feels his own blood starting to boil. He clenches his fists at his side but keeps his mouth shut as Louis crunches on a mouthful of coco puffs. Louis swallows and starts again. “Stop stepping on my toes. This is my trip and it means something to me. I don’t need you trying to fuck this up.”

“I’m not trying to fuck anything up. I am trying to make this memorable for you. I wouldn’t ruin something so important to you, Louis.” Since Louis lost his grandmother a while ago and learned how much the pumpkin festival meant to her, Louis had wanted to come here to one of her favorite places more than ever. Harry truly does want to make this a pleasant experience for Louis.

Louis freezes and his eyes look right up to Harry’s. With the deep look of hardness mixed with hurt in his eyes, Harry can almost see the last failing months of their relationship flashing in his cerulean irises and Harry’s getting a front row seat to the tragedy all over again.

“You wouldn’t want to mess up something that’s important to me? You sure about that, H?” The stare off between the pair breaks when Louis turns his head to sit the box on the side table, a humorless chuckle escaping his thin lips. “It’s not just fruit, Harry. It’s a bright fucking yellow reminder that you left me. Walked right out and didn’t think I was worth another passing thought. We have our own lives now. You went off, doing whatever while I was dealing with the shit you left behind. You got the bananas and I got the coco puffs.”

Louis stands and doesn’t even turn his head in Harry’s direction as he heads back towards the kitchen. The back door slams and Harry jumps at the loud clatter. He doesn’t know what he said to make things worse just now. He was sincerely trying to make amends with his ex and seemed to only dig himself deeper into a hole. Harry shakes his head and grabs the cereal Louis left out, walking towards the kitchen to put the box away. After he places the box into the cupboard, his eyes catch the bruised bananas right where Louis had thrown them. With a heavy weight on his shoulders once again, he picks up the fruit and tosses them into the bin. 


	3. Monday

_Louis is running late. He curses the community bathroom in his doom, having to wait ten minutes for a shower to become available. Being on time might have been a possibility had he not stopped at the coffee stand, but that was never an option. He couldn't function without his large Americano. It was absolutely detrimental for early morning classes. Mornings never agreed well with him. He honestly should have gotten up earlier and shown that he was going to be a good and dedicated student. It’s his second day of classes and his first time going to his Tuesday and Thursday courses, so hopefully the professor will give him a break since he is still trying to adjust to his new routine._

_Relief washes over him seeing the door to the classroom is open and he can hear the chatter of the students carrying on inside, meaning the professor hasn't started talking yet and hopefully won't call him out on his tardiness. He steps inside the classroom, glancing over to see a younger man at the head desk, typing away on a laptop. That must be Mr. Grimshaw, he thinks to himself, hoisting his backpack a little higher on his shoulder as he starts up the stairs of the theater style seating, trying to find an empty seat. _

_Due to his tardiness, the seats towards the back and front are both full, leaving him to scour through the scraps of the middle. He spots an open seat at the far end of the aisle, meaning he's going to have to squeeze through the already full row, which he hates doing. It's always uncomfortable for him trying to navigate his rather plump ass through the narrow space. Louis knows when he goes to the movie theater and he's in this predicament, his bum is practically in the laps of everyone as he passes by so he always tries to avoid it, but it seems he can't now. _

_Taking a breath, he goes for it, wanting to get it over with. Mumbles of "Excuse me" and "Sorry" blindly leave his mouth as he makes his way down, his backside facing the desks so at least he can't see their annoyed expressions. Louis has almost made it to the end of the row, when he trips over something, nearly face planting in the process. Louis' arms flail before he catches himself on the desk behind him, the force of the trip causing his bottom to slide backwards where he's halfway sitting on the desk top. He quickly turns his body a little, a pissed off expression already on his face to see the culprit whose gangly legs nearly caused the death of both him and the coffee he's still miraculously cradling in his hand. _

_He's fully prepared to give them a glare cold enough to chill their blood, until he sees the owner of the lanky legs. Green eyes meet his and Louis' widens his own as they sweep over the almost-coffee-killer's face. A strong jaw and a straight but slightly broad nose sit on an overall pretty face and Louis almost hums aloud at this declaration. But the pretty boy still tripped him. He's about to speak up, but the other man smiles timidly, causing a dimple to form in his cheek, making Louis consider apologizing for being the one to trip. _

_"Sorry about that. I have long legs and there's not much space in these aisles. Or on the desks for that matter." The other student's eyes move to where Louis' ass is still perched on his desk, causing Louis take in a quick breath, immediately standing to get his glutes out of this guy's personal space. _

_Louis sits in the empty seat he was going for in the first place, right beside the stranger who's still watching him._

_"It's alright. This time. But if it happens again even just once this semester well, then we'll have a problem." Louis cocks a brow at hi, smiling before digging in his backpack. He pulls out his notebook and pencil, sitting them on his desk._

_"I wouldn't want that. I'll try to tuck my legs in better. Or you could not be late and get here first. Then there wouldn't be a chance of you falling on me," he says with mirth in his eyes, that dimple coming out to play again and Louis can't help but return it. The guy is cute, and it seems he's trying to match Louis in the sass department. _

_"Falling on you? You mean falling over you more like it, Bambi," Louis retorts playfully. "I can't wait to see you try to walk on those things when class is over."_

_"It's Harry," he introduces himself in a hushed tone. "Falling on me, over me," he pauses again and bites his bottom lip, "Falling for me. Same thing."_

_Louis quickly turns his attention up from his notebook glancing at Harry. Oh, he's good, Louis thinks. Not only is he cute and cheeky, but he's smooth too. For a moment, Louis feels bad for cursing the bathroom that made him late since it landed him in this seat next to Harry. _

_"Louis. You think you're quiet charming don't you, Harry?" He questions_

_Harry shrugs. "Not really. I just like corny jokes and puns, but it seems I've charmed you already," Harry says, gently tapping the end of his pencil on his desk. "As you said, you can't wait to watch me leave so you can check out my legs and ass."_

_Louis' lips part with surprise, but he doesn't get the chance to retort Harry's claim since Mr. Grimshaw gets up to the podium, signaling the start of class._

_"Good morning. I'm Mr. Grimshaw. I'll be your professor for Music Theory and Fundamentals of the Industry. If this is not on your schedule, please take the time to exit now. This is my first year teaching this course and I'm excited about it. I think all of you will find this course very beneficial regardless of what realm of entertainment you want to go into."_

_As he drones on about his last job as a radio DJ, Louis finds himself doodling on the first page of his notebook, sketching a smiley face with X's for eyes. After his third one, he decides to start something different. He glances at the scatter of m-shaped-birds tattooed on his arm and starts trying to draw those. He feels something bump his leg and he cuts his eyes to his right, seeing Harry grinning at him. Harry moves his hand to grab at the collar of his shirt, pulling it down just enough to reveal the head of a swallow tattooed there. He nods his head to Louis' notebook whispering, "I’ve got one on each side."_

_Louis bites his tongue as he lets his eyes drift over Harry, just now noticing the tattoos littered on his left arm, which is resting closest to Louis. Harry is heavily inked, and he can't help but wonder what other ink hides underneath his black t-shirt, if any other birds or animals have a home on Harry's body there. _

_Mr. Grimshaw clearing his throat catches his attention, making him look up at the front again. _

_"The only things you'll need for this class are the textbook, pencil, paper, and a composition book. At the start of class, you'll spend the first five to ten minutes writing, lyrics specifically. It doesn't have to be much, just a phrase or two if that's all that comes to you. The point is to get you actively writing every day. At the end of the term, those journals will be worth fifty points and I'll deduct a point for every day you should have written something and didn't. Easy participation points, people. That's all I have for today. Thursday, we'll start the first lecture, so read chapter one and answer the discussion questions before class."_

_Students start rising from their chairs and Louis shoves his stuff in his bag, standing with them. Harry swings his arm out, ushering Louis to go in front of him, and Louis smirks shaking his head. _

_"Don't try to be a gentleman. I know what you're doing. You want me to go so I can't watch you stumbling around. Nice try," Louis cleverly says._

_"Actually, I was being nice and letting you go first so I could check out your ass, but if you insist," he says nonchalantly, stepping out in front of Louis and heading towards the end of the row. Louis's eyes do flitter up and down Harry's backside, from his booted feet, up his thin but muscular legs, to his narrow waist and finally to his broad back. Harry is a bit taller than him. Not by much, but enough that Louis can't see over him. _

_Harry stops so suddenly, Louis almost collides with him. He turns his head so fast, his brown curls resting near the tops of his shoulders bounce at the movement._

_"Well, is the view as good as you imagined?" he questions Louis cheekily. _

_"Up to par, I suppose," Louis says. He decides to up his own flirting since Harry is tossing it at him faster than he can catch it all. "When's your next class? Do you want to read this chapter and work on the questions together?"_

_"Yeah, I'm free. But," he holds his pointer finger up like he's about to make an important declaration. "Only if you give me time to look over your tattoos." The finger he had held up traces over the scattered tattoos on Louis' forearm. The heat Louis feels from this slightest touch from Harry, sends a shiver down his spine. Harry trails his finger upward to the bottom part of the ink poking out from the sleeve of his shirt. "And this one. I bet I have more than you do," Harry says in a way Louis thinks sounds seductive._

_"Alright, I'm in," Louis nods mentally trying to calculate his total tattoo count. "What do I get if I win?"_

_"Winner pays the bill on our first date."_

_Louis purses his lips to hold back a grin. He won't admit it out loud, but Harry officially has him charmed. Now, this has become a bet impossible for him to lose either way._

_"Deal. Make sure your wallet is full," Louis says as they exit the classroom, walking side by side down the hallway. _

_Little did Louis know, this was the first of many times Harry would charm him. There’s no way he would have predicted that this was the start of falling in love._

*****

** Monday **  
Harry stares up at the massive building in the shape of the Titanic. He takes a deep breath because not only is the idea of learning about one of the most tragic events on both sides of the Atlantic sounding less thrilling than going to the dentist but doing it with his ex is just the icing on the cake. Or the drill in the cavity if he wants to maintain the same metaphor. Harry shakes his head and smiles to himself as he steps up behind Louis to purchase his ticket.

“What are you smiling at, Styles?” Louis holds his hand up to shade his eyes as he turns to look at Harry. “I have the tickets. Here, my treat. I know you really don’t have any desire to see this one.”

“Oh. Well, thanks, Lou. You didn’t have to do that. I can afford my own ticket.”

“That’s not why I did it. It was a thank you, or even just an excuse to have company. You can buy the next thing we do, ok? Let’s just get inside. The wind here is chillier than I thought.”

Harry takes the ticket and they head inside. They check their coats and head to the front of the line. An older man is handing out papers and when they step up, he greets them with a smile.

“Hello young sirs. Here we go; you take these paper cards, go up to the top floor and as you find the markers on the wall they’ll explain about your people. At the very end, you can look for your person on the wall of survivors. Good luck to you. Please step to elevator number three.”

The two guys move to the open elevator and are followed by a group of four girls. The girls whisper and giggle as the elevator rises, and Harry sees one of them looking over at Louis and his eyes trail up his ex, seeing the same image the girls do: a rather good-looking man, built but not too much, scruffy but not unkempt, casually dressed but not sloppy, and definitely sexy. Harry shakes his head again as the door opens and they all spill out.

“Ok, so…we turn these to the first page. Um, no! Louis, no. No way. I got a girl! Switch with me please? I don’t want to be a girl. Please?”

“Oh, come on. Don’t be a girl.” Louis offers him a smug smirk. “Here, you can take mine and I’ll take your girl. Are you happy now?”

“Yes. Thank you. However, if this guy dies at the end and the girl lives, I’m taking her back.” Harry smiles at Louis and Louis laughs out loud. Harry places a hand on his back as they head inside the room. “Ready to start our adventure, Lou?”

“You bet. Come on Harry. Let’s see what all this is about.” 

They get inside the first room and look at the first pages of their little cards. “This is day one, April 10th, 1912. We board. I’m a gentleman from Liverpool heading to New York to start a business in auto refurbishment. What does that mean?” Harry asks.

“Car repairs. Keep going.”

“Oh, fancy talk, ok. So, I am in auto refurbishment and I have a second class booking on the RMS Titanic. I come aboard and unfortunately, I am not allowed to stop and stare as I have to push through the main foyer on my way to my room. But now I am encouraged to stop and notice the grandeur of the main entry with the magnificent stairwell.” Harry stops and looks around. “This is really cool.” 

“I told you. Ok, my turn. I am a fifteen-year old girl from Dublin. My cousins in America need help with their large brood of children. They are hard- working farmers but if they can have help with the children, both parents can focus on making the farm more successful. I am in third class. I won’t even be allowed to see the grand staircase. Ok, let’s move on.” 

They take their time and move from the first room to the next, looking carefully at every piece of artifact that had been raised from the wreckage. The two guys move to every plaque and read every word written. Slowly, they make their way from the top floor down to the bottom floor, enjoying themselves and pointing out to the other what they find the most interesting. Finally, they walk around a corner and find a long dark corridor that is colder than any other part of the museum so far.

“Well this is kind of creepy. Do we have to go this way?” Harry looks over at Louis and gives a shy grin. “I’m scared. Will you hold my hand?”

“No. But I’ll walk with you. This is the way toward the end, I think. That little map in our card says this way. I think this represents the final night. Cold and dark, the boat sailed on. Some sort of nonsense like that. You ready?”

“Not really. But we’ve made it this far, right? Let’s keep going. I want to see if my guy lives.” They go down the cold hallway and as they turn a corner, they see a massive piece of ice in the middle of the room. Harry’s mouth drops open. “Oh wow. Let’s see what the wall says. This iceberg is one hundredth the size one they believe the Titanic struck. It was more than likely just a size like this that was visible above the water, but the damage was underneath. That’s insane isn’t it?”

Louis walks over and looks at the ice closer. “Haz, you can touch it. Look. There are handprints in it. Come on, we can do this. Want to?”

Harry thinks to himself that no, he does not want to touch the ice and get a cold wet hand, but Louis has a happy look on his face and Harry cannot stand to be the cause of that look disappearing. He sighs and plasters a grin on his face then realizes, it is not an effort to smile at Louis like this. In fact, this might be the happiest time he and Louis have spent together in a long time.

“Sure, Louis. Let’s do it.”

After leaving their handprints, side-by-side in the ice, the boys head to the next spot and find the wall of survivors. Carefully, they walk up to the wall and search for their people. Harry runs a finger down the list, and he puckers his lips.

“Well I’m not here. Let me turn my card. Nope, the body of my guy was found by the RMS Carpathia, but I had frozen to death in the icy water. Apparently when I was pulled out, I had two broken legs—they think I tried to jump for it and either hit debris or was too high and the angle I hit the water did me in. How about you?” Harry looks at Louis who is scanning the board closely.

“I made it. Miss Mauve O’Rourke was rescued by one of the life boats from the RMS Carpathia. She had a small child with her whom she called Molly, but Molly was not hers. Molly belonged to a man whose room was across the hall from Mauve’s. He helped Mauve break a window in their attempt to get out of the boat. Mauve went through first and Molly second. Molly’s father, name unknown, stayed to help others out through the broken window. His body was never found. Mauve took Molly with her and raised the child as her own. Once the two reached New York, her cousins took the pair back to their farm and helped them overcome their trauma of the event of April 14 and 15, 1912. Mauve lived to be 90 years old, and Molly lived to be 92. Together, they started a school for the children of local farmers, and it became the longest run independent school in upstate New York.” 

Louis sighs and as they turn toward the exit and the bin where the cards were to be returned and recycled, Harry sees him put it in his pocket. Harry smiles and waits until they get outside. “You were supposed to turn that in.”

“I know. But I feel like Mauve and Molly deserve to be remembered. Who knows who that card will go to next time? If they’ll appreciate it like I do. I’m going to keep it so at least one person can appreciate the life these women led.”

“That’s something I’ve always loved about you, Lou. You see the magnificent in the every day. You aren’t focused on the fact they survived this nightmare, no. Not you. You appreciate them living over just them surviving. Some people would say surviving was enough. But you, you’re more into the fact they lived and created something for themselves that was their own and nothing to do with the Titanic.”

“I’ve always loved that fact that you appreciate the crazy in me, Harry. No matter what it was, you always had my back. Well, till the end there.”

“Louis.”

“Sorry. Not trying to ruin the day. Come on, let’s hit up the gift shop. I promised my sister a t-shirt from this place.” Louis heads off into the shop and Harry stares after him. Harry takes a deep breath and follows Louis, uncertain how a great moment just went wrong.

***** 

The Titanic museum had been for Louis. It is on his grandmother’s list of things to do that his grandpa had given him when Louis told him he and Harry were taking this trip. Since he didn’t have anything else on his to-do list today and Harry had mentioned they were close to the Gatlin’s Escape Games. After they left the museum, he’d given in and turned them in the direction of the escape room. 

Harry wore a smile the entire ride there, but Louis was secretly dreading it. He is slightly claustrophobic and the idea of being locked inside a small room with no way of escaping but solving puzzles (and relying on Harry) make his skin crawl even more, but he still feels slightly guilty for letting his emotions over the bananas yesterday get the best of him, so he was trying. 

Which is why he’s now standing next to a beaming Harry as they listened to the worker tell them the rules of the game. Louis hopes Harry is paying attention, because being this close to Harry had his mind wandering yet again. 

“You have thirty minutes and you are given one hint if you hit an impasse. We will be watching you on the cameras and we can hear you if you ask for the hint, but we need affirmation from both of you before we give it to you. Got it?” the woman asks them with a smile that’s rivaling Harry’s. Louis wonders if she’s been scolded by a boss in the past for not being cheerful enough around the customers.

“Ready!” Harry chippers with excitement. “This is going to be so fun, Louis.”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m ready. Let’s get this over with.”

The woman opens the door and as soon as they both step inside, the door clinks shut behind them. Louis swears he suddenly becomes aware of every molecule of oxygen available in the room, or lack thereof. And Harry’s sucking up every bit of it. 

Harry is currently cutting his eyes all around, taking in the surroundings. The room is clustered and filled full of the most random things. There’s an old couch with a coffee table in front of it, a bookshelf tucked away in the corner beside a counter with a sink. There’s even a stationary bicycle tucked in the other corner of the room.

Pointing at the door they just entered in, Harry casts his eyes up, making Louis look too. 

“There’s the timer,” he says, pointing at the digital numbers slowly counting down on the clock above the door. “Twenty-eight minutes left. Let’s get started.

“Where do we even begin?”

“I don’t know. Just look around for anything important. I’ve played these games on my phone before. Look for keys to hidden boxes, or puzzles or combination locks,” Harry mutters as he lifts the cushions off the couches, digging around in the cracks and frowning deeply when he comes up empty.

Louis sighs, deciding the quicker he helps, the quicker they can get out of here. His eyes lead him straight to the bookshelf in the corner. It’s full to the brim with books; all of them look to be aged. It would take forever to go through all of these looking for anything significant. 

“Found a screwdriver!” Harry calls out from his place on the floor in front of the couch. He must have pulled it from underneath. 

“Okay great. Pick the lock on the door with it.”

“Louis,” he scolds him playfully. “That’s not how it works. We need to find something with screws in it to use the screwdriver. Look for a box with screws on it.”

Louis starts walking around the room again, getting slightly fed up already with Harry telling him what to do. He walks over to the stationary bike, looking to see if it’s being held together by screws. He doesn’t see any, but when he rises to his feet, the sees a painting hanging on the wall beside the couch and he doesn’t miss the glimmer of the light off of the screws, holding the painting in place.

“Harry, the painting is screwed to the wall!” Louis shouts with a smile despite himself. He quickly walks over to the painting. “Hand me the screwdriver.”

“No, I’ve got it,” Harry answers, already at his side as he shoves the flathead screwdriver into the screw at the top. “Just stand there and look pretty.” 

Louis crosses his arms over his chest and fuck that, honestly. He stalks off leaving Harry to handle the painting on his own. He’ll find something else on his own, without Harry’s help. 

Moving to the desk located beside the bookshelf, he decides to try for the three drawers on the desk. The top one is locked, the gold keyhole almost mocking him. The next drawer opens to his surprise and he grabs the lone piece of paper out of it, unfolding it. His brows draw in as he studies the piece of paper that doesn’t make any sense until the sound of Harry sitting the painting down on the ground catches his attention. 

“Well, that’s disappointing. I don’t think the screwdriver was used for that,” Harry remarks, studying the blank wall where the painting hung. “I thought there would be some kind of safe hidden behind here.

“Why would the painting have screws if we weren’t supposed to take it down?” Louis says blankly then turns back to his paper. 

“What do you have there?” Harry’s already striding towards him and Louis turns away quickly when Harry’s hand touches the paper. “Louis, we’re on the same team here. I need to see.”

“You want to take it away from me and try to figure it out yourself. Give me a chance, Harry,” he spits out. 

Harry lifts his hands up in surrender. “Okay, I just want to help. Can we both look?”

With a roll of his eyes, he holds the paper back out where they can both see it. Nothing but a combination of dashes and dots litter the page. 

“I think it is Morse Code,” Louis guesses

“Well, what’s it say?”

“How the fuck would I know, Harry? I don’t speak, Morse Code.”

“You read Morse Code, not speak it,” Harry snaps back and Louis just about goes banging on the door demanding they let him out. They can keep Harry locked in here forever for all he cares.

When he glances at the door, he sees they’re already down another five minutes. His gaze lands back on Harry who’s studying the paper in Louis’ hand with vigor. Louis feels slightly bad. Harry was a good sport during the Titanic Museum for him. He can do better. He wants to make this as fun for Harry as possible.

He clears his throat. “Do you know any Morse Code?”

“I know ‘H’ is four horizontal dots. Cause Gem’s tattoo she got for me is the H.”

“I remember,” Louis says quietly and hands the paper back to Harry. “Here, you can give it a go.” 

He walks away from Harry again, not wanting to think about Harry’s sister, Gemma, or anything about Harry’s life that he was once a part of. Louis steps to the side towards the bookcase, roaming over the titles, hoping one will stick out to him. His eyes bug out when he sees the green spine of one of the books on the third shelf, gold letters reading “All about Morse Code”. 

“Harry, bring me that paper, quick!” Louis calls out, as he sits on the floor, flipping the book open to the table of contents. He’s turning to page twenty where a Morse Code key is displayed. When Harry sits down beside him, Louis grabs the slip of paper from him with excitement.

“You found a key? Louis, you’re brilliant!” Harry praises, leaning forward to peer at the book with Louis. They’re so close. Louis can smell the scent of Harry’s fruity shampoo in his hair. It’s the same shampoo he used when they were together and the scent is so familiar, so Harry, he feels a tightening in his chest. 

“I’ve got this, H. You go look for our next step.” 

“Don’t be silly. We can crack this quicker if we do it together. I’ll start at the bottom.”

“I can do it by myself. You know I work better alone,” Louis says with his eyes still flicking back and forth between the book and the paper, trying to decode the message. He feels Harry turn his head, and although he doesn’t look up, he knows Harry is scowling at him. He can feel the heat of Harry’s anger boiling right beside him, and he definitely feels the sting of the burn when Harry finally erupts. 

“Trust me, I know you do,” Harry shoots to his feet and Louis finally looks up. Harry honestly looks slightly scary standing at his full height, towering over his own sitting form. “Anytime things get tough, you pull away. You insist on doing everything on your own and you don’t let anyone else in. You just fucking push people away. There’s no winning with you, Louis, because you always refused to have someone else on your team. You can only try for so long before you throw in the fucking towel. I couldn’t beg you to remember I was there for you, if only you’d have let me be.”

Louis mouth pops open at Harry’s outburst and he feels a tightness in his throat, but apparently, Harry isn’t done giving Louis a piece of his mind.

“You start that shit with your next boyfriend, you will end up alone, Louis. You’ll end up all alone and you’ll have no other choice but to work alone. For the rest of your life.”

Harry turns away from him, walking to the other corner of the room to get as far away from Louis as he can, and Louis is grateful. He’s telling himself not to cry, feeling the tears threatening to spill as Harry’s words replay on loop in his head. 

Entangled with those words are flashes of years before and Louis clamps his eyes shut, then quickly peers down at the paper in front of him. He will not cry. He will not give Harry the satisfaction of seeing he can still affect Louis more than anyone else.

Louis works in silence, not glancing up once to see what Harry is doing. When he’s finished, he croaks out. “Get on the bike.”

“What?” Harry whips his head around, his arms crossed over his chest and a mean scowl present on his face.

“Get on the bike. It’s what the message says,” Louis says blankly, and Harry’s features soften.

“Oh, okay. I’ll go.” His long legs carry him over to the bike and he tosses one over, straddling the machine as he lowers his bum to the banana seat. “Nothing is happening,” he says before grabbing the handles and moving his feet to the pedals. As soon as he starts peddling, the lights in the room flicker off and the blank space on the wall where the picture hung displays four numbers painted in glow in the dark paint.

“3582. Guess you were right about the painting after all,” Harry says and steps off the bike. The overhead lights turn back on, the painted numbers no longer visible and Louis looks at him blankly, slightly afraid to say anything that might have Harry shouting at him again. He can handle an angry Harry, but he can’t handle being fiercely reminded about how Harry walked out on him.

“Look for a combination lock,” Harry says as he moves around the room, already on the hunt. He goes to the sink and glances back at Louis. “Over here. The cabinet under the sink has a combination lock.”

When Louis gets there, Harry is putting in the last number on the combination and he hears the lock release. Harry pulls the door open and pulls out two plastic red cups, looking perplexed.

“What do we do with this?” 

“Your guess is as good as mine,” Louis says lightly. “Fill them up with water, I guess? Look for tea bags and have a tea break? I don’t know.” 

A snort of laughter slips from Harry. At least Harry doesn’t sound like he’s going to go off on him again. The water starts running as Harry fills the cups with water, eyes moving around the room now trying to figure out what to do next. “The vase of flowers on the side table maybe?” he asks, already heading that way. He sits the full cups down on the table and then pulls the fake flowers from the vase. “There’s a key at the bottom.”

“Flip the vase and get the key out.”

Harry tries to pick up the vase and shakes his head. “Can’t. It’s stuck to the table.”

“Can you fit your hand inside and grab it?”

“Nope. Guess that’s what the cups are for. There’s a keychain on the key that looks like it might float. If we fill the vase up, the key will float to the top and we can grab the key.”

Louis heads over, grabbing one of the cups and pours the water inside, and then Harry does the same. “We’re going to need more than that, and we don’t have much longer to go. Ten minutes.”

“Let’s do this,” Harry says with determination. 

They get busy, both men going back and forth, filling their cups and pouring the water into the vase before going back for more. Louis is getting tired of the monotony of it all after his eleventh trip. 

“H, I think I can get it.” He slips his fingers inside, but they only go up to the knuckle. He huffs as he struggles to wiggle his fingers around and then Harry is at his side again as he pulls out. “Nevermind. Almost, but not quite.”

“Maybe one more will do it then.” Harry dumps his cup into the vase and Louis slides his fingers back in, grinning when he’s able to grab the keychain between his index and middle finger.

“Got it!” Louis calls out as removes his hand.

“Fuck! One minute left! Try the door, Lou.”

“Wait there’s still a locked drawer on the desk!”

“Try that,” Harry says anxiously. 

Louis is at the drawer, shoving the key in the lock and turning. It gives way, revealing a big bronze key. Louis snatches it up so quickly he nearly drops it.

Both men dash for the door, and Louis is about to stick the key in, but he pauses, turning towards Harry and passes him the key. He doesn’t utter a word, but the look on Harry’s face makes Louis think he can read the unspoken words he’s thinking. _We are a team. _ At least they were, and for a moment just now, they are a team again.

Harry slides the key inside the lock and turns, shoving it open when he hears the click and Louis is right behind him as they step outside.

“We did it, Louis! We escaped! With under a minute left!”

Before Louis can respond, Harry’s arms are wrapped around him and squeezing him tight. Naturally, Louis’ body is stiff as a board, his mind in panic mode because Harry is hugging him. They’re hugging and he sounds so happy and it feels like more than it is, but there’s no way that can be. They couldn’t even handle being in the same room together for thirty minutes without fighting. 

Harry must realize how uncomfortable Louis is, because he pulls away, eyes wide as he stutters. “Sorry, I- I just got excited. We did it, just in the nick of time. I must have gotten some kind of adrenaline rush or something,” he lets out a nervous laugh.  


Exactly, Louis thinks to himself. Because they don’t hug now. It’s not them. It hasn’t been them for a year now. Despite their victory just now, their team ended long ago, long enough that it still shouldn’t hurt Louis now the way it is.

*****

"Thank you," Louis says as the waiter sits his plate of chicken tenders and fries in front of him. They'd come to Bullfish Grill, a seafood restaurant not too far from Gatlin's Escape Games, both of them deciding they needed some fuel after their last activity. They both burned up too much energy physically and mentally in Louis' opinion. Whose idea was it to trap himself in a room with his ex and try to work together to get out of it? Oh, right. Harry’s, but he’s the one who agreed to it.

Louis lifts his eyes across the booth to watch the waitress sit down whatever the mess on Harry's plate was supposed to be down in front of him. Harry gives her a smile and a quiet thank you before grabbing his napkin, draping it over his lap. He starts to grab his fork, pausing momentarily when he catches Louis staring.

"What?" he asks with his brows furrowed.

"Nothing. I'm just trying to figure out what the hell is on your plate. Is it still alive? I think I saw something on it winking at me." Louis chimes out, looking back to Harry's colorful entre. Hopefully, Harry won't call him out on the fact that the food isn't exactly what he was staring at. 

Harry grins, starting to cut his fork into the food. "Bullfish Chicken Pasta. It has mushrooms, sundried tomatoes, broccoli and spinach in it. I added shrimp too. Doesn't that sound delicious?" He sticks the bite into his mouth, a slight moan of pleasure slipping out of his mouth that has Louis' cheeks threatening to heat up. "Tastes delicious, too. You want to try it?" He's already loading his fork with another bite for Louis.

Even if the meal looked at all appetizing, he can't. He can't let Harry feed him off his plate. It's all too familiar. When they were together, there were countless times Harry tried to force vegetables down his throat by being cute and feeding him. Sometimes he'd like the zest of whatever the concoction was for that day, most times he wouldn't, but every time, he loved Harry giving him attention in that way. 

"I'm good, thanks. You eat it. I'll just enjoy my food," Louis replies, grabbing the ketchup bottle and pouring an overabundance of the sauce between his chicken and fries.

"I can't believe you got that. Seriously, Lou, I thought you would have matured at least a little. Maybe tried the fish sticks instead." Harry pauses to rinse his pallet with a swig of his unsweet tea, another thing Louis deems evil. Sugar belonged in cold, iced tea. "You could have at least gotten that off the kid's menu and saved a few dollars."

Louis pauses, fry hanging in midair on its venture to his mouth and he sees Harry's eyes widen, probably worried he fucked up and said something offensive. Harry looks like he is just waiting for Louis to blow up on him, which was pretty much becoming the theme for this trip. 

Surprising himself even, Louis starts laughing, lifting a hand to cover his mouth and Harry finally seems to snap out of it, chuckling along with him. 

"Fair point, but I'm paying so it's fine if I want to pay more and keep my adult status."

They continue eating in silence for a little while, aside from each of them tossing out an odd comment every now and then. Harry is admiring the stone fireplace to the right, crackling away, keeping the restaurant a comfortable temperature against the chill of the fall wind outside. For some reason, Louis decides now is the time to potentially fuck everything up, breaking free from the casual conversation into something a little deeper. 

"How have you been? What have you been doing the past year?" Louis dunks his last tender in his ketchup and looks up at Harry, trying to keep his voice steady and nonchalant like he hasn't been dying to know how Harry's life is working out without him in it. "I don't even know where you work."

Harry stiffens momentarily, eyes deep set on Louis until he finally clears his throat and forces himself to relax. 

"I'm not working at the moment," Harry admits. He looks down to his nearly empty plate and pokes at the food left. He suddenly drops the fork and it clangs against the plate loud enough that Louis jumps. "I did alright at first, right after graduation. I stayed on at my internship at Pulse Radio for a few months. I really loved it there. I was getting paid at this point doing something I enjoyed, even though it was off air work. I thought I was finally getting my foot in the door of the industry, you know? I thought they were finally going to give me an on-air segment. Give me the chance to let my voice be heard."

Louis tilts his head to the side, his thin lips pursing in a little pout as he nods, urging Harry to continue.

"When a spot opened up for a segment on-air, I thought they’d suggest I take it. They didn't. I asked about it, and they said they'd consider it. A week later, the spot was filled. They brought in someone new. He didn't have a degree, but apparently he worked on a popular radio station in California," Harry says bitterly. "I realized then it was probably always going to be that way. They would always bring in someone with more experience and I'd never get that chance there. So, I quit."

"You quit... Just like that, you quit the internship you enjoyed?"

"Yep. Walked right out and didn't look back."

Louis feels his heart clench at that, remembering something else Harry walked out on and never looked back. He tells himself not to make a snarky remark. He knows there's no reason to pop off to Harry when they're not even talking about their failed relationship. This is about Harry. He can listen. He can stay quiet.

"I put in resumes at all the other stations within a sixty-mile radius, but I never heard back on anything. I started panicking when my rent was coming due and I still didn't have a job so, I had to put in applications other places. Got hired on a The Dough Knot bakery, and I worked there until a few days ago."

"Did you not like it?" Louis questions.

"I did, but I couldn't get the time off to come here."

A wave of bafflement washes over Louis. "You quit your job to come here with me?"

Harry shrugs and leans back in the booth before his eyes finally meet Louis' and he nods. "I had to come. I told you years ago I wouldn't miss it."

"But-" Louis starts to interrupt and Harry holds his hand up to cut him off.

"I wanted to do this with you. Even if you didn't want me here. Even if it's for nothing more than us to find closure or to get back to civil terms. I do wish I'd done things differently. I feel bad for ending things the way I did."

And that's nice and all, but Louis isn't sure he likes the way that sounds.

"Why didn't you try something else?" Louis' voice comes out small. He has to know. He's wanted clarity for so long, and now it's sitting right in front of him. He just needs Harry to give that to him.

"I couldn't, Louis."

"Why not?" he presses. Regardless if Harry wants to talk or not, he's going to have to do better than that.

"Because."

"Because why?"

"Damn it, Louis. Does it matter?" Harry tosses back. "I'm here now. I've come now. Why is that not good enough?" 

"I didn't say it wasn't," Louis replies. He really didn't mean to pick a fight with Harry. "I am, um, I'm glad I'm not here alone. I wouldn't want to do this alone."

That seems to relieve some of the tension in Harry's tight shoulders. He visibly sighs, sinking a little further into the booth. He turns his head when the waiter approaches and Louis reaches out to grab the bill book from her. Louis peeks inside before grabbing his wallet, sticking a fifty dollar bill inside.

"Louis? I'm happy I'm here too. For whatever the reason, I'm happy I'm here with you after so long."

Louis sits the book down, his eyes studying Harry. He's can't decide if Harry means something more by what he said. Is he simply happy they're speaking again or is he happy that he's here, close enough to touch Louis? The questioning isn't getting him anywhere, so he decides to just embrace Harry's statement for what it is. 

"I'm happy you are too."

They rise from their booths, both men slipping their coats on before making their way towards the door. The air bites at Louis' cheeks as soon as he swings the door open. He stuffs his hands deep in his pockets. When he glances over at Harry, he can see the tip of his nose is already turning red. The grin is on his face before he realizes. He quickly casts his gaze back towards the Range Rover, so Harry doesn't catch it.

When they reach the car, Harry grabs at Louis' forearm to halt his steps. 

"Can I drive this time? Please, Lou? We're just going back to the cabin. I've never drove something this expensive! I promise I won't-"

"Okay."

"What? That easily?" Harry’s face shows confusion before it morphs into a wide dimpled smile. Harry holds his hand out and Louis drops the keys into his palm, rounding the car to climb in on the passenger side. 

Harry's so excited, he's already behind the wheel and buckled in when Louis climbs inside.

"Christ, Harry. Don't get a big head and take us on a joy ride. Just to the cabin. Got it?" he raises a brow at him and Harry nods repeatedly like an obedient school boy before shoving the key in the ignition and cranking the car. 

"Fuck, she sounds beautiful."

"It's not the first time you've heard it," Louis snorts.

"But it's the first time I've heard it when I was behind the wheel. It's different," Harry adds, as he steers the SUV out of the lot and onto the road with ease. Louis smiles despite himself at how joyful and young Harry looks. Just like a boy with a new toy, Louis thinks.

When they've been coasting down the highway a few minutes, Fleetwood Mac being the only sound in the car, Harry cuts his rendition of “The Chain” short and taps his fingers on the wheel.

"You never told me what you've been up to this past year. Anything new to share?"

Louis doesn't want to admit that he's hasn't done anything worth mentioning since Harry left him. How pathetic would that make him sound? He can't let Harry know that he's hardly done anything more than the bare minimum.

"Just working mostly," he answers lamely instead. Harry nods to show he’s listening, then, flicks his blinker on, slowing to make the left turn onto the road their cabin is on. "Still at Buckley Agencies. I've been doing more songwriting now."

"That's great, Louis! Have they used any of your stuff?" Harry risks a glance at him. Even though he only looks at him for a second, Louis can see the genuine pride in Harry's eyes.

"They took a couple of my songs, but none of the big artists have gotten their hands on it yet," Louis blushes a little, not wanting to brag, especially after learning Harry's had such a hard time recently in terms of his career.

"You've always wrote wonderful songs, Louis. I think within a year or two, we could be hearing songs you wrote on the radio."

"I don't know about that," Louis waves off the comment with his hand. "I'm perfectly content just helping other people achieve their dreams. I like being behind the scenes. 

They pull up in front of their cabin, and Harry kills the engine. neither of them make a move to get out immediately. For Louis, he's slightly afraid that when he gets out of the car, the spell they've been under for most of the afternoon will be broken. 

Harry finally breaks first, opening the car door and tossing his legs out. Louis lets out a heavy sigh before joining him, stepping out of the car.

Harry's fumbling with the keys until he finds the one that unlocks the cabin. The lock gives and he pushes the door open. He stands to the side, keeping one of his palms on the door and he gestures Louis inside with the other one.

The skip in Louis’ heartbeat shouldn't be happening, not over the very man who broke it months ago, but it does anyway as he steps through the door, immediately shedding his coat off. When he glances up, Harry is leaning against the front door just staring at him, seeming lost in thought. Harry opens his mouth but quickly snaps it shut, shaking his head before finally turning to shed his own coat.

"Wanna watch a movie or did we have something else for today?" Harry asks.

"We can watch a movie. We’ve done everything I had planned for today."

"Cool, I'll pick then," Harry declares.

Louis rolls his eyes as he makes his way towards the living room. "I guess we're watching a rom com."

Harry follows after him, hot on his tail and Louis feels his shoulder get knocked by Harry's bigger one. Harry cuts in front of him and tosses Louis a smirk before grabbing up the remote and plopping himself onto the plush beige couch cushion. "You love them just as much as me, but I don't want to be predictable. Got to keep you on your toes and spice it up. We're watching Final Destination."

"You hate horror movies," Louis deadpans, taking a spot on the other end of the couch.

"No, I don't hate them. I just don't enjoy them as much as rom coms," Harry corrects, keeping his gaze on the TV as he flips through the other movies as he continues talking. “Maybe I’m picking a horror movie to finally get you to hold my hand when I get scared.” He smirks and bites down on his lip. Louis remembers him asking the same thing earlier at the Titanic museum. Louis turns, staring at his profile.

Fuck, he's handsome. Louis wants to reach out and boop Harry's nose. He's always had a slight obsession with Harry's slightly big nose, enjoyed the way the very end of it would pull down when he talked and how endeared he was when Harry scrunched it up. He used to lick the tip of it just to rile Harry up.

But no licks or flicks can occur. That was when they loved wildly. Now, they're trying to set a record for how long they can go and not get into a screaming match.

“Still not happening, Styles.”

"You don’t know that yet. Maybe you’ll want me to hold your hand when you get scared and start shaking in your knickers. Aha! What about Nightmare on Elm Street?" Harry asks, finally turning his head. He catches Louis still staring but thankfully, he doesn't comment on it.

Louis turns back to the TV and hums. "But why do that when The Notebook is listed right there. You know you're tempted to choose it." His voice goes up an octave as he teases at Harry. "Just do it. You know you want to."

Harry freezes, his body tense as he slowly turns his head towards Louis. His tongue sweeps across his bottom lip before his teeth sink into the plush skin of it like Louis has seen him do a thousand times before.

"You're right. Nicholas Sparks always prevails," Harry concedes, clicking on the movie.

Soon, the beginning credits start up and Louis might be sneaking too many hard glances at Harry, but his expression is blank, like he's staring at the screen but has his own motion picture playing in his head. Louis could ask him what he's thinking about, but he's not sure he can truly handle the answer. 

He doesn't want to take any chances, so he curls his legs underneath him and gets lost in someone else's tale of love to avoid thinking about his own, how it burned brightly until everything spun out of control and went up in flames.

*****

Night has fallen and all that can be heard outside are the occasional sounds of the bugs hidden in the darkness. Harry and Louis have decided to try out the fire pit outside. Louis should have known he would freeze his balls off. He should have suggested they try out the indoor fireplace instead, but damn his ex for his love of nature and meditation and all that shit.

That's how he's ends up on a chaise next to Harry who's reclining on his own lounger, white wine in hand and a radio Harry found in one of the bedrooms of the cabin he brought out with them filling his ears with the latest hits. It is a nice combination, the mixture of the music with the sound of the firewood crackling as it burns.

Tightening the blanket around his shoulders, Louis takes a sip of his wine and scoots in closer to the fire pit. The first glass had gone quickly after he decided to down it in hopes of the alcohol rushing through his veins and heating his blood up. He's sipping this one much slower.

"Isn't this nice, Lou?"

"Sure, I love not being able to feel my toes and having my balls draw up into my gut trying to fight off the chill,"

Harry snorts and rolls to his side on the lounger he's sprawled out on. He rests his chin in his hand smiling over at Louis.

Louis is hit with Harry's beauty for the second time today, noticing the way the firelight bounces over the right side of his face, illuminating the dimple and the green of his eye. Harry's hair is cascading down from underneath the Green Bay beanie on his head. Louis thinks he looks youthful smiling like that, his cheeks pink from the harshness of the cold.

"Scoot your chair closer to the fire," Harry interrupts Louis’ silent admiration.

"Or we could go inside."

"Do you really want to go in? We can if you really want to," Harry concedes. "I wanted to look out at the stars for a little while."

Astronomy always did fascinate Harry. When they were together, Louis could plan any date that involved them stargazing at the end of it and Harry would be romanced and charmed enough that he'd give Louis the best and most enthusiastic blowjob he could muster. 

So, Louis learned to love the stars. 

"We can stay. I'm just giving you a hard time."

Harry grins and opens his mouth, and Louis shoots him a look, daring him to make some corny joke about a hard on. Harry must know that Louis knows what he was about to do because he raises his hands in surrender and turns his face back towards the sky.

“Do you ever look up there and start to feel really small?” Harry wonders aloud.

There have been many times that Louis has felt small in his life. Not just physically. “I guess. Is that how you feel when you look up there?”

“Yes, but in a good way,” Harry states. He bends his arms, resting them behind his head before continuing. “When things are really shitty or I feel like I have more troubles than I can handle, I can look up and all of my problems feel so insignificant when looking at the vastness up there,” he lifts a hand upward, “I’m just one little star in an infinite sky.”

Louis hums in thought, cutting his eyes towards Harry who’s still staring up. “But every star is important. Every star has a story and a purpose. Just like you. You’re significant, Harry. You matter.”

Turning his own face back towards the sky, he starts chewing on his lip, holding back from saying more. He’s always thought Harry was a star. Every time he’s heard Harry singing to himself filters through his mind. Harry in the shower belting out Shania Twain, Harry with his guitar by the window in their bedroom, socked feet propped on the coffee table as he strummed away trying to write music to accompany lyrics he’d written, Harry teaching himself the correct chords of a song. He always thought Harry truly had what it took to be a star. His voice was deep and polished. He could belt out lyrics or he could turn that around in a second and rasp out lines with a practiced and effective brokenness or even soften it entirely, going up octaves to croon out softy falsettos.

Pair that raw talent with his painfully good looks and you’ve got yourself a perfect star. Regardless of Harry choosing not to actively pursue stardom, he was always the brightest star in Louis’ sky. Modestly speaking, Louis is confident in his songwriting ability, but Harry’s voice and charisma is effortless. It’s honestly fearful to think how unstoppable he’d be if he actually want to become famous and put in the effort.

Harry wouldn’t just be a star. He’d be the moon.

“You think I matter?”

“I know you do.” Louis says quietly, hoping he doesn’t sound as vulnerable as he feels. 

Quietude falls between them after that, both men just continuing to look up at the starlit sky, content in letting the voices coming from the radio be the only words filling the air. A song ends and the radio announcer Louis has never heard of before today comes back on through the speakers. 

“JC Pauley back with you all. We have a brand-new ballad for you guys to hear, and let me just say, I am a fan! I think Lewis Capaldi could be the next big thing. I see many awards in his near future with this one. Here’s his debut single, ‘Tough’.”

Every cell in Louis’ body feels like its burning and he’s sure if he wasn’t frozen in shock, he’d have fallen off this chaise by now. Surely not, he thinks. There’s no way. His boss would have contacted him and let him know his song was given to an artist.

But Louis knows he’s wrong when a deep voice comes through the radio, singing the words he wrote in his most fragile state. 

_“Every little part of me _  
_Is holding on to every little piece you _  
_Is holding on to every drop of blood you drew_  
_Is holding onto you." _

The song continues on as Louis feels his throat tightening up. He shoves the blanket off his body, suddenly feeling hot all over.

_“Cause every night since you cut and run_  
_I feel like the only one who's ever been the lonely one_  
_Trying to mend a heart that keeps breaking_  
_With every step that you're taking.” _

Louis grips his thighs, squeezing his flesh to try to calm himself down. Of course, Harry finally chooses this moment to look over at him.

“Never heard a voice like this guy’s. I like it.” Harry praises. “He has an accent. Where do you think he’s from?

Louis squeezes his eyes closed. “Shut up.”

“What?” Harry asks with genuine confusion, turning to look at Louis.

“Shut the fuck up, Harry.”

The chorus comes through and Louis’ heart is shattering all over again.

_“Cause you've been running circles 'round_  
_My mind, turning me inside out_  
_And I fell for you but hit the ground_  
_'Cause the only love I've known has let me_  
_Down and I need lifting up_  
_Now you ain't here, I'm sleeping rough_  
_And I'm praying I can pray enough_  
_So waking up without you ain’t so tough.” _

Louis audibly sucks in a breath and finally gets his body to cooperate with him. He gets up from the lounger, his feet getting tangled in the blanket he’d dropped there.

_“I find it hard to find my feet_  
_When I keep on stumbling over you and me_  
_But I keep on trying 'cause I know I need_  
_To outrun the memories." _  


With his ankles finally free, he strides forward towards the cabin, needing to get away from this hell. He can’t listen to his words being tossed back at him while Harry is right here listening to it all. To make matters worse, he trips over a piece of firewood, Harry had gathered earlier. Louis is tempted to laugh at the irony of it all and he probably would if it didn’t feel like his lungs were shrinking to the size of two kidney beans.

_“And every day I'm reminded of_  
_The way I let it come undone _  
_And I feel like the lonely one___  
_The only one with time worth wasting_  
_Well, I still can't stop chasing.”_  


_ __ _

_ __ _

“Louis, are you alright?”

Louis doesn’t know when he got up, but when he feels Harry’s hand wrap around his arm, trying to help steady him, he jerks away like a wounded animal, stumbling. He whips his head to Harry, eyes wide as he points at him.

“Leave me alone!”

“What is going on? Louis, what the fuck! I’m worried!” Harry shouts at Louis’ retreating form, already disobeying and taking a few steps towards him.

“I can’t. Harry, please!” he begs as his eyes fill with tears, shaking his head back and forth. “Don’t!” 

He’s inside the cabin before he knows it, leaving Harry outside listening to the song he wrote after Harry left him being played on the radio for the first time.

Rushing to his room, he slams the door behind him, taking heaving breaths. It feels easier to breathe finally having some space away from Harry. He briefly wonders what reason Harry has come up with for him running off like that, but he can’t ponder too long, his own pain taking over his mind. As the song said, Harry’s always running circles around his mind. 

Louis drops to his knees in front of his suitcase he still hasn’t been bothered to unpack. He rummages around until his hands grab the soft fabric. He pulls Harry’s lilac knit sweater from the bag and buries his sobbing face in it. 

It’s not the first time he’s done this, cried while clinging on to an old favorite item of Harry’s. It became a pathetic habit of his when he was feeling down. 

He stands and quickly sheds his shirt, slipping on the too big sweater, bringing the sweater paws up to dry his tears. When he gets to his feet again, he moves to the bedroom door flipping the lock. He doesn’t want to risk Harry coming up here and finding him like this. He’s already made a big enough fool of himself tonight.

With a heavy heart, Louis collapses into bed, trying to calm the last of his lingering sobs. He can’t find a single ounce of happiness in the fact that he’d just heard one of his songs on air for the first time ever. Nothing about this moment feels satisfying.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song Louis writes in this chapter is called "Tough" and it is performed by Lewis Capaldi. Itis actually written by James Ryan Wuihun Ho, Jessica Reyes, and Lewis Capaldi. This is fictional and we take no credit for coming up with the lyrics to the song. 
> 
> It is a great song that does go well with how Louis was feeling after he and Harry broke up. You should give it a listen.


	4. Tuesday

_"It's really easy, boys. Come on and I'll show you how it's done. You two need to at least know how to cook each other one breakfast dish," Louis' grandmother, Edna calls out, reaching into one of the top cabinets to pull out a dish. _

_Louis looks over at Harry. They're sitting at the table, working on the crossword in the newspaper together. Something about being at his grandparents' house makes him crave the simplicity of things. He rarely touches his cell phone when he is over here. His grandparents have a TV, but rarely watched it, and Louis found the peace of fully being in the moment serene._

_"Harry just started working at a bakery, Grandma. Pretty soon he's going to be whipping me up all sorts of muffins and breakfast treats."_

_"We don't serve French toast though," Harry informs, causing Edna to scoff._

_"No French toast? How awful! On the bright side, now neither of you have an excuse not to learn how to make it. Your grandpa always says I make the best French toast he's ever had."_

_"He would say that. He says that about everything you cook," Louis says with amusement. He gets up from the table, heading over to join Edna. Harry follows him._

_"He means it about my French toast. It really is the best. First, you need a shallow dish like this. We mix in two eggs, a cup of milk, a teaspoon of sugar, vanilla, and cinnamon." She shoves two eggs in Harry's hands and hands Louis a teaspoon. "Get to it, boys. I'm not getting any younger." She taps the tip of Louis' nose with her index finger and smiles, which makes Louis smile._

_Edna seemed larger than life to Louis growing up. She has a huge personality that seems to make her float around everywhere. His grandpa William told Louis that he was a lot like his grandma in that way, that he'd gotten his own big and loud personality from her. To him, that was one of the best compliments he'd ever received._

_Harry cracks his eggs while Louis dishes out teaspoons of the ingredients. Edna picks up the cup of milk and pours it into the mixture._

_"Now, here's my secret tip, so pay close attention." She moves to the fridge and pulls out a carton of heavy whipping cream, adding a splash. "This makes it a bit richer. Top if off with just a pinch of salt, and there it is."_

_After adding the salt, she grabs a whisk from her utensils drawer and holds it out to them. Louis takes it, eyeing the thing with confusion._

_"I don't know how to whisk," he admits._

_"Oh, Louis, I would have started lessons sooner if I knew you were this hopeless at cooking." She lets out a little laugh at Louis’ expense._

_Harry sits his hand on Louis' that's holding the whisk. "I'll show you. I do know this much."_

_He feels Harry step up behind him. Harry's left hand grabs the dish as his right hand guides Louis’. He starts moving Louis' hand until they're successfully whisking the ingredients together._

_"This is easy," Louis calls out as if he's now a professional._

_"You're welcome," Harry snorts and let’s go, leaving him to finish on his own. He wraps his arms around Louis' middle, still watching him._

_"This is the most domestic shit we've ever done, I think, Haz," he laughs out._

_Edna pauses from buttering the skillet she's placed on the stove. "Louis, language please. But yes, that’s quite some domestic shit you two are up to over there. Cooking and cuddling. Ah, to be young and in love again."_

_"You still are in love, I hope," William calls out as he walks into the kitchen._

_"Of course, dear. Always in love, just not as young." Edna glances over at the young couple again. "Now, grab your slices of bread, rub them in the mixture, then flip and do the same to the other side. Be quick or the bread will end up soggy. Then we brown it out on the skillet, let it cool and get to eating."_

_Louis and Harry take turns dipping slices, passing them to his grandma to start cooking. William picks up their abandoned crossword as they finish the cooking._

_Soon enough, Louis finds himself setting the table and Harry carrying over a huge plate of French toast._

_They all settle in and Louis is the first to coat his bread in syrup. That first bite, he swears he feels his bones go lax in his body, it's that good. "Grandma, you were right. This is so good."_

_Harry hums in agreement as he chews his own bite. Louis looks over at his plate, thinking Harry needs a bit more syrup but decides not to inform him that it would taste even better if he added more._

_"Best French toast I've ever eaten," William adds. Louis doesn't miss the way that his grandfather's eyes nearly shine along with his aged smile as he looks across the table at his wife. He looks over at his own boyfriend's face and when Harry catches his eye, Harry gives him that same crooked grin he always does when he finds Louis being cute._

_"What? Do I have food on my face?" he asks, already picking up his napkin to dab just in case._

_"No. I just like looking at you," Harry responds, causing Louis to smile shyly and look down at his own plate._

_It's not that he doesn't love hearing these things. He does. In fact, he thrives off of the sweet words Harry gives him, letting them warm him up like he's wrapped in a blanket of Harry fondness._

_But he still feels slightly embarrassed being charmed in front of his grandparents. Not that they appear bothered. They've always accepted Louis and they both adore Harry. His grandpa even told him after the first time they met Harry that he was a keeper and Louis should "put a ring on it like the young kids say so he doesn't get away."_

_That was some time ago, and although Louis still isn't ready to "put a ring on it", he feels something else stirring in his chest. It hits him by surprise and with so much force, he drops his fork against his plate causing a loud clanking sound to fill the room._

_"You alright, darling?" Edna asks with worry in her tone._

_"Yeah, I'm good." Louis gives her an assuring smile, taking a breath. "I think I just went into a mini sugar coma from all this syrup."_

_"That is entirely too much syrup, Lou." Harry teases at him. "You're missing out on the taste of the bread drowning it like that."_

_Of course, that would be the first thing Harry says after Louis figures out he's in love with the silly man. Louis chuckles despite himself. Breakfast continues on until Louis is too full to even think about eating another bite._

_"If you boys aren't busy," his grandpa starts, patting his belly before rising from his chair. "I could use a couple sets of hands outside in the garage."_

_"We'll be out there soon, Grandpa," Louis assures him. "Let us grab our shoes."_

_William nods, already making his way out the backdoor. Louis heads to the front door where he left his shoes yesterday when they arrived, Harry following him._

_"Can we talk for a second before we go?"_

_Harry pauses, still holding one of his boots in the air above his foot as he casts his eyes down to Louis. "That sounds ominous. Should I be worried?"_

_"If you don't hurry up, maybe. Grandpa will come searching for us."_

_He lets Harry get his boots on, then they step outside. Louis grins when Harry has to duck to avoid one of Edna's potted plants hanging up on the porch from hitting him in the head._

_"Over here," Louis tells him, grabbing his hand and leading him over to the wrought iron swing on the side of the porch. It was once white, but years of being outside against the elements has the paint weathered, chipping off to reveal the rust underneath. It's been here for as long as Louis can remember._

_The heat is already brutal even though it is earlier in the morning, typical for Texas. The sun is shining down on Harry and Louis wished he could somehow eternalize the way Harry looks with the sun rays bouncing off his head, making his hair shimmer._

_"So, what did you want to talk about?" Harry asks._

_Louis briefly wonders if it's too soon to tell Harry about his realization. They have been together for half a year now, so it wouldn't be unnatural for him to say it. Maybe he should give himself some time to get used to the idea before just blurting it out to Harry, but Louis has never been good at keeping secrets. He has a big mouth, and he's not too proud to admit it. He takes a seat on the swing, then takes one of Harry's hands in his._

_"I realized something today at breakfast. Came out of nowhere if I'm being honest," Louis starts, followed by a nervous chuckle. He probably shouldn't feel nervous, but no matter what, there's always a vulnerability that comes when confessing how you feel about someone._

_Like the angel he is, Harry just smiles a little and nods, encouraging Louis to continue._

_"I didn't think I would realize it, when we were sitting there with my grandparents. Isn't that something that's supposed to come when you're watching the fireworks or after cuddling up at a movie? I don't know."_

_"You're rambling," Harry notes teasingly._

_"I'm getting there," Louis huffs out. He lets his eyes meet Harry's. "I realized I love you. More than that, actually. I'm in love with you. Probably ridiculously in love with you. Like, give me a megaphone and let me shout it out, and any other cliché thing you can think of!" He's cut off by Harry's lips on his, his heart calms its upbeat cadence against his chest._

_When Harry breaks the kiss, he remains close to Louis, looking right at him and without any hesitation he replies, "I love you, too."_

_Why that surprises him, he's not sure. He blinks a few times. "You do? Really?"_

_"Yes, really," Harry laughs. "You think I was just saying it to say it?"_

_"No! I just, I wasn't expecting you to say it back so easily. Thought you might need a minute to process._

_"There's no need. It's not new to me that I love you."_

_"Wait, what? How long have you known?" Louis' asks with a slack jaw._

_"Hard to say for sure. At least a few months. It's not like I had a big epiphany like you did. It was more like a passing thought like 'take out the trash, I love Louis, study for my pop quiz tomorrow’." He starts laughing at the unimpressed look on Louis' face._

_"Don't laugh at me. I'm trying to be romantic here and you're comparing your love for me to taking out the trash," Louis snorts and rolls his eyes, but he ends up laughing too._

_"That's not how I meant it. I meant loving you came easy for me. Like it was something I was naturally supposed to do."_

_"Harry," Louis breaths out as he scoots himself into Harry's lap and buries a hand in his hair as he softly kisses his lips._

_"Was that better?" Harry smiles, caressing Louis' back._

_"Much better. You're forgiven," Louis says. "As much as I'd love to stay right here and bask in our love, we better get to the garage."_

_"Yeah, I'm surprised your grandpa hasn't started hunting for us yet."_

_Harry lifts Louis up, cuddling him tight before sitting him back on his feet. Hand in hand, they head down the stairs and towards the side of the house were the unattached garage is. William is already busy grabbing some tools for whatever project he's about to work on._

_"There's the two cuckoo love birds. About time. We need to change the starter on the old Ford and then build a new bird house for Edna," William says, already heading towards the classic red pickup parked on the other side of the garage._

_"Your grandson is the cuckoo one, William," Harry snorts._

_Louis doesn't say a thing as Harry tugs him towards the truck. What could he say honestly? It's true. They are love birds now, and Louis would never admit it, but yeah, he's cuckoo for Harry._

*****

**Tuesday**

The warm bread is piled on a plate that Harry sits in the middle of the table. He moves back to the kettle, starting to make Louis a cup of tea the way he likes it. After last night, he's not sure how Louis is going to be feeling this morning, but he thought maybe walking up to one of his favorite breakfasts will help his mood.

Homemade French toast, just like Louis' grandmother showed them how to make another lifetime ago. He hadn't needed a recipe. He'd made Edna's famous French toast countless times for Louis when they were together, he had the recipe memorized and perfected, if he did say so himself. Every time he made it, he usually ended up smiling stupidly to himself, remembering that day at Louis' grandparents. Such a mundane day on the surface, but it meant so much more than that to Harry.

Just like all the times in the past, this time was no different. Thoughts of the day crept into Harry's mind as he cooked, no matter how hard he tried to push them away. If he didn't focus enough, he swore he could hear the faint echo of Louis telling him he loved him, and his heart in present time skipped a few beats.

The whole thing was a mess, really. It also made him miss Edna more than anything. Losing her had been hard on Louis and him as well.

Maybe he shouldn't have made the French toast.

As he considers throwing the whole thing out and suggesting they stop somewhere for food, he hears feet scuffing on the floor and turns his head, seeing Louis walking into the kitchen.

"Morning," Harry says cautiously. The last thing Louis did yesterday was yell at him before taking off. He's still not sure what he did wrong, so he's treating Louis like he's a wounded animal, trying to show him he means no harm. "I made your tea for you. Just how you like it." He grabs the mug, pushing it into Louis' hands.

Louis' blinks, his eyes still heavy from sleep and brings the cup to his lips. He releases an almost inaudible hum of approval that let's Harry know his tea is up to par. "Thanks, Harry."

"I also made breakfast. What time are you wanting to hit the road for Cade's Cove?"

"In a couple of hours. I at least need my tea before I can think about trying to function," Louis says, as he moves to the table.

Harry knows the moment Louis sees the plate of bread, because even from the back he can see Louis freeze. He wonders what he'd see if he could see his face right now.

Nerves completely take over him. The sudden need to try to fix this before it gets worse has him striding over the table and grabbing the plate. Fuck, what was he thinking?

"I can make you something else," he starts but then he feels a hand on his wrist. He looks over at Louis and Louis jerks his hand back, but the tiniest trace of a grin is on his face, his eyes filled with thoughtfulness.

"No way. Put that down. You're not running off with my toast," Louis says as he pulls his chair out and plops down. "Do we have any syrup?"

"Ye-yeah," Harry stutters out. He wasn't expecting this. He snags the syrup from the fridge, bringing it back to the table where Louis has already made his plate.

"You used Grandma's recipe?"

"Of course. What other recipe would I use?"

Louis gives a nod, looking down at his plate as he smothers it in syrup. Harry is once again hit with the vision of that day and the others in between; like thoughts of kissing Louis' maple sticky lips on lazy mornings when they ate together in bed. The thoughts disperse as Louis glances up at him while he chews. For a moment, Harry feels naked, like Louis can see what he was just thinking about. He tosses a couple of slices of bread on his own plate, drizzling it in syrup so he has something to do.

"It's really good. Thanks, Harry. Tastes just like Grandma's." Quietly, he adds, "I think I needed this."

"I'm glad you're enjoying it. I wasn't sure, with last night, and with it being your grandma's…" Harry trails off.

"It was nice of you to do. I'm glad I get to think about her and smile whenever I eat this. I haven't had it in ages. Since the last time you cooked it for us," Louis clears his throat. "Can we just forget about last night? You didn't do anything. It was me. I was tired and cranky. You know how I get when I'm tired."

Harry's brows draw in. Of course, he doesn't believe that, but if Louis wants to let it go, he can do that, at least for now. "Right," he plays along. "You have been known to get pissy and throw some tantrums when you're sleepy."

"Watch it. I only needed your agreement, not your added commentary." Louis levels him with a look, but then cracks a grin.

They finish up their food and load their dishes into the washer. Louis heads for the doorway while Harry starts cleaning up.

"Hey, don't forget to bring your camera," Louis calls out. He smiles and taps his knuckles against the doorframe. "You'll want it in case we see any black bears."

"I'll bring it," Harry replies before Louis flees up the stairs.

The morning is off to a good start, but Harry knows how quickly that can change. For now, Louis seems okay. He's not trying to rip Harry's head off.

Harry sends a silent "thank you" to Edna, wherever her soul may be.

*****

“One hour and ten minutes. Oh my god. Can we get out soon?” Harry’s whine breaks through Louis’ carefully crafted cone of silence as they drive past the sign that reads “Welcome to Cade’s Cove”.

“Louis? Can we get out? I need to stretch or something.”

“Sorry. This is, uh, just the beginning. We have to get to the half way point before we can get out. But hey, they have more black bear sightings on this trail than any other part of the Smoky Mountains. So, keep your eyes peeled and your camera ready. Okay?”

Harry huffs again and Louis’ hands tighten on the wheel. Louis cracks his neck to see if that can relieve the tension in his body yet all he feels now is a nice chunk of pain from his shoulders up to his hair line.

“Louis?” There is a tremor in his voice.

“Yes, Harry?”

“I did have fun yesterday. At the Titanic museum and even at the escape room. Well, before I became an ass and picked a fight.”

“It takes two to fight, Harry. Let’s just let it go and forget it. Okay? I don’t want to fight and- Harry! Camera, look! There’s a bear and a cub!” Louis pulls to the side of the road, like the cars in front and behind him and he watches a bear and her cub cross right in front of him. Harry gets his camera going and he snaps away as the bear family moves into the tree line.

“That was really cool, Louis.”

“Yeah, it was. Let’s keep going. The midpoint is supposed to be awesome. Like a valley unit, a field of grass, lots of animals. Wanna keep taking pictures while I drive?” Harry nods and Louis can’t help but want to see a smile on that beautiful face again. “Hey, what if you drive from the midpoint to the end of the loop? It won’t be long, but maybe for a few minutes?”

Harry’s face is lit up like a kid on Christmas morning and lord love a duck, but Louis can’t deny him.

“Just from the midpoint on. But I’ll drive us back. The highways out here are crazy and well, you know how you drive.”

“I know how you think I drive. But I’ll take what you’ll give me. So, for now, go slow. I don’t want to miss anymore bears.”

Twenty minutes later, Louis pulls into a makeshift parking lot next to a field of tall grass and he and Harry get out and look around.

“Harry, would you like to take a picture? With me?” Louis mumbles the last part, but it is loud enough for Harry to hear. Without a word, Harry walks over to a twenty-something blonde standing with a guy and asks if she would take their picture. When she agrees, he hands her his camera and comes back to Louis.

“Come on, Louis. Let’s smile like we still like each other.” Harry’s happy face falls as he sees the look on Louis’. “I mean, like we just saw a bear and her cub in this beautiful place. It really is magical, yeah? Even with the drive?”

“Yeah, yeah it is. Ok, smile, you pompous ass.” Louis wraps an arm around Harry’s waist and Harry wraps his around Louis’ shoulder and together, they pose. Once she has taken a few photos, the woman hands Harry his camera.

“Thank you very much. Really it-ouch! What was that for?”

“Turn around, you wanker. Look!” Louis is pulling at Harry trying to turn him and once he does turn, he sees a young black bear peeking out of the tall grass. As Harry brings his hand up for a photo, a much larger bear stands on its hind legs. “Harry, time to go. That’s too close. Harry, we’re too close to a momma bear. HARRY EDWARD! MOVE YOUR ASS!”

If Louis’ ardent shout doesn’t get Harry’s attention, seeing the momma bear open her mouth and give a growl sure does. Harry slowly lowers his camera and starts walking backward. All the other individuals who are around also start moving to their cars, and just as Harry feels the car behind him, the bear lets out a loud roar and charges forward.

“Get in!” the door is flung open and Harry dives in, shutting the door as the car takes off.

“Wow! That was incredible. I thought you said this part of the Cove was safe? I was almost eaten by a bear!”

“I see the drama queen still has her crown. It is safe, you weren’t eaten. The bear really didn’t even get that close to you. Just, chill out. OK?” Louis doesn’t even realize that his hand is on Harry’s thigh, squeezing, as if reassuring himself that Harry is ok. But Harry sees it, feels it, and for once, lets the moment be.

“I guess I don’t get to drive.”

“Shut up, Harry.” But Louis smiles as they quietly watch the scenery throughout the rest of the drive.

*****

“Are you sure this is the right place?” Harry asks Louis for the third time in an hour.

“I don’t know, Harry. Did you see any other restaurants that were in log cabins, on this road, and called ‘Leave Your Mark’? Because I sure didn’t.”

“I’m just…this means a lot to you. I just wanted to make sure it was the right spot.” Harry huffs out a quiet answer.

Louis rolls his eyes as they get out of the car and head inside. A young hostess greets them with a cheery smile and a good look up and down the pair of them. She shows them to a table and hands them each a menu.

“Anything look good?” Louis asks while he scrunches his eyes at the tiny print.

“Are you voluntarily asking me a question?” Harry raises his brows at Louis and gives a sarcastic look on his face that is rivaled only by his tone. “The great, do-no-wrong-Louis is deigning to ask me my opinion?”

“I forgot my glasses and didn’t think this type would be so small. I can’t read any of this. Sorry, I forgot we aren’t allowed any civil moments.” Louis’ tone gets icy and Harry can see a door he didn’t even realize was open closing tightly right in front of him.

“Lou, I’m sorry. I didn’t think…”

“Yeah, that seems to be a recurring theme here.”

“I can read you what I think sounds good. There are a handful of dishes I think look nice. Really!” Harry hates it, but he can hear an almost begging tone in his voice.

“No. Nevermind. I’ll just ask. Hey! Perfect timing.” Louis turns his attention to the pretty little waitress who has just walked up. “I forgot my glasses, what are the specials, or at least, what would you recommend?”

Twenty minutes of silence later—ten of them spent alone while Harry heads to the restroom—two orders of mouth-watering fried chicken are set down in front of Louis. He starts in on his right away. When Harry joins him again after another minute or two, Louis pushes Harry’s plate a little closer toward that side of the table with a nod at his ex.

“It just came. You’ll appreciate the cinnamon apples. They’re really good. What?” He swallows and wipes his mouth. “Sorry I didn’t wait. You’ll understand when you take a bite. Plus, the smell and you were taking too long.” He stares at Harry as the other man has yet to say a word. “What? Are you not speaking to me now? Look, I’m sorry about earlier, alright? I shouldn’t have been so defensive.”

“No. No, its fine. Lou, I uh, I found them.”

“Found what?” Louis looks up from his food and his jaw forgets how to chew when he sees the look on Harry’s face. “Oh. Them. Where?” He swallows a mouthful as Harry points behind him toward the empty booth next to the hostess stand.

Louis wipes his mouth and stands. Quietly, he walks over to the booth and squeezes in, looking carefully until he finds them. Right under the salt and pepper shakers is carved Edna and William Tomlinson with the date 09/15/1963. Slowly, Louis lifts a finger and traces their names, over and over. He takes out his phone and takes a few pictures, and just sits there in silence. When a hostess clears her throat to announce she’s seating new guests there, Louis scurries back to his own seat.

“Excuse me, can I have a to-go box and the bill please? I need to leave.”

“You okay?” Harry asks. Though the words are calm, Louis overreacts.

“No, I’m not bloody okay. I need to leave, alright?”

“I’m not done. Can you not just eat, or sit and let me finish in peace? Does everything have to be on your own damn schedule? You’re acting like a fucking prima donna, just like the last few months of our relationship.”

Harry’s eyes get wide at the assault his mouth just spewed on his ex, while Louis’ face gets impassive and closed off. Louis pulls out his wallet, drops a fifty-dollar bill on the table, and when the waitress brings his box, he literally dumps his food into it and heads out.

“He left too much money. Do you want his change?” The waitress looks at Harry who shakes his head, adds another twenty to her hand and starts scraping his own food into a to-go box.

“No. You keep it. It’s okay. We’ve had a rough week. Thank you. The food was lovely.” Harry stands and as he gets outside, he is thankful to see that Louis is waiting out front and hasn’t actually left him there. He opens the door and before his mouth even opens Louis cuts him off.

“Not a word, Styles. I’ll drive this damn thing off a cliff.” Harry gets in and shuts his door and Louis peels out of the parking lot kicking up dust, pebbles, and pine needles.

*****

Harry watches Louis slam his way into the cabin and disappear from view before he heaves a sigh and lifts himself from the Rover. He follows the path Louis took and heads inside, casting a glance for his ex, to ensure he doesn’t get hit; something he might deserve. Not seeing Louis anywhere, Harry heads to his room and removes his boots—it’s a very simple step to make, why Louis would never do the same, never even try—no. Best not to open that can of worms tonight. It was always a small fight they had. It should have stayed a small fight. Harry kind of wishes it stayed small. He feels a little bad it didn’t stay small.

Harry heads downstairs and looks for Louis, but still doesn’t find him, then he sees a shadow on their back porch. He heads that way and at the door he stops. Louis is leaning against the balcony railing with a bottle of wine and one glass: “Guess I wasn’t invited to the party.” Harry muses to himself. Oh well, as his subconscious reminds him, that’s never stopped him before. 

As he watches, Harry sees Louis sip from the thin-stemmed, frail glass, and damn it reminds him of Louis, who Harry sees sigh heavy enough to lift his slender frame. Though the scene in front of him is beautiful, the mountains, and yes, Louis too, it is also sad. Very sad and Harry cannot tell why from here. Harry finds himself moving to Louis, drawn to his former love in a way he can’t explain and probably doesn’t want to have to. He pushes the door open and can almost feel Louis shift into a more defensive mindset.

“Louis. Look mate, at dinner, I shouldn’t have said that. It was bang out of order. I, I’m sorry. I-”

“Grandpa passed. Last month. Quietly in his sleep, but-” Louis’ voice cracks as he tries to finish, the words so much harder to hear than Harry would have thought and apparently harder for Louis to say. “He was alone. Fifty-three years of marriage, five kids and twelve grandkids, even two great grandkids, but he died alone.” Quietly, so very quietly that Harry barely hears, even though he has just found himself inside Louis’ bubble, he hears Louis whisper. “Like I will.”

“Louis.” Harry’s own voice catches, mainly out of loss; he loved Louis’ grandfather. That man was a legend and Harry will truly miss him. “I’m sorry.”

“Yeah, well.” Louis finishes the wine in his glass and pours the rest from the bottle into the glass. “He was old, lived a full life, had no regrets.” Ouch. That last part hit Harry like a dart, filled with venom and sarcasm, like he is sure Louis meant it to hit. Louis takes another sip and Harry watches as Louis’ throat swallows it down.

“Louis. He loved you, very much. You were clearly his favorite and no matter what, he knew you loved him greatly.” Harry puts a hand on Louis’ shoulder then turns to leave, to offer him solace, as one last gift from him to Louis and the memory of the late William Louis Tomlinson. As he opens the door, Harry hears something behind him and turns back around to see Louis’ shoulders shaking in quiet sobs. Harry moves back to Louis and pulls him into his arms—a move they had fully perfected once. It is still pretty fluid today. Though Harry meant it as purely a means of support, he cannot deny the feeling of longing and familiarity that fill his chest. This is still his Louis, his Lou-boo and that love doesn’t just disappear because the relationship does.

“Harry?” The muffled voice is laced heavy with emotion.

“Yes, Lou?”

“Kiss me? Just once?” Harry can hear the fear and uncertainty in Louis’ voice. The worry about…oh who cares. Because in this moment, Harry doesn’t want to put up a fight. He leans back and looks Louis in the eye. One of his hands cups Louis’ cheek, his thumb brushing over that lovely bottom lip, before Harry leans down and kisses Louis.

It starts sweet, soft, and as a form of comfort only. But this is Louis. His Louis, and before Harry realizes it, Louis is wrapped around him: tongues trying to find those soft spots from recent memory that were loved, hands moving from soft and slow to rough and fast. Louis reaches his hands into Harry’s long locks and pulls tightly, causing Harry to lose himself and he feels his hands sliding down to grip Louis’ perfectly shaped, hard, round ass. They keep kissing until the ringing from the phone inside the cabin startles them both.  


Louis springs away and his face turns scarlet. He downs the rest of his wine and takes his glass inside with him as he moves to the phone and answers the ring. Harry, left alone on the porch, is standing there, risking death by drowning in his own emotions with only an empty wine bottle and the beginning of a hard on.

“Well damn. This is unexpected.” Harry adjusts himself, grabs the empty bottle, and heads back inside. He sees Louis, still on the phone, and walks past him into the kitchen. He stops when he sees Louis’ face. “What’s up?” he mouths. Louis waves him along and once Harry is finished draining the wine bottle, Louis joins him in the kitchen.

“That was the office. They said a winter storm might be moving in sometime this week. If we don’t wanna leave, we might want to head down the mountain and get some supplies.” Harry tries to read Louis’ face, but he’s closed off—back to the man in the car and not the man from the porch. Harry reaches out for Louis, and Louis side-steps him. “I’ll start a supply list. Tell me if there is anything you want from the store.”

Harry watches Louis walk off and cannot help the thought that passes through his mind as he remembers how good they once were. “I’m not sure the store has what I need. Harry mutters as he watches Louis walk away.


	5. Wednesday

_Halloween falls on a Monday this year. The college always throws a carnival on Halloween night for the kids of the town to come for games and candy. Harry had signed up to volunteer to work one of the game booths and was looking forward to seeing the happy kids in their costumes having the time of their tiny lives. He had been assigned to work the "Pop a Pumpkin" game. Earlier today, he'd went and picked up the backdrop that was painted with a basket of pumpkins on it, and the orange balloons. He'd spend Sunday, tomorrow, blowing up the entire bag of orange balloons and get them tacked on the board in preparation for the following day._

_Monday is for the kids, but tonight is for the adults, which is why Harry is dressed up in his tightest black skinny jeans, a tiger printed sleeveless shirt that's half see through and ends about an inch above the waistband of his jeans. Over that, he has a red vintage style jacket with metal studs covering the front of the chest that he surprisingly found at a thrift store and the silver, glittery boots he doesn't get the opportunity to wear enough on his feet that are carrying him up the stairs of the Delta Sigma Phi frat house._

_It's not his typical scene, but they're throwing a Halloween party, and Louis suggested it would be fun if they went. Ah, Louis. Even the sound of his name has Harry smiling stupidly. Losing his focus, he nearly trips over a step as he makes it up the porch and into the huge house._

_Louis is supposed to meet him here. They've been casually seeing each other for a couple of months, and Harry is a little smitten._

_Okay, a lot smitten._

_Things seem to be so easy between him and Louis. It's natural the way he leans into Harry and fits perfectly against his body when they're curled up on Harry's tiny bed in his dorm watching a film and trying to ignore his roommate, Willis' snoring. Will is a pre-med major, so he's usually always there studying or sleeping, which had stopped them from every getting too handsy with each other. They'd fooled around at Louis' dorm a little bit, but Louis roommate, Scotty, has the worst timing, somehow managing to walk in on them every single time, hindering them from ever taking it further than a quick handjob or a messy blowjob. Despite the sexual frustration, Harry has enjoyed taking things slow._

_He's gotten to talk to Louis about anything and everything that comes to his mind, which includes a lot of random questions that pop into Harry's head. Louis seems to enjoy Harry's quirky questions, always answering them with ease, and a cute little grin. He feels he's truly getting to know the person Louis is, right down to his very soul. He knows that Louis is a momma's boy. He tries to act tough, but he's actually soft and does have a sensitive side. He's also a messy slob if the state of his room is anything to go off of, but everyone needs at least one flaw, and that seems to be Louis' only one in Harry's eyes._

_When he enters the living room, his eyes skate over firefighters, witches, masked devils, sexy nurses, sexy maids, and more. He and Louis never told each other what they were dressing up as. Harry hopes he's not wearing a mask, as that would make finding him even more difficult._

_A familiar, unabashed laugh is heard coming near the kitchen that has Harry gently ebbing his way through the crowd to get to it. Even if everyone in the kitchen were masked, he's sure he could choose Louis out of the lineup based on his laugh alone. He enters the large kitchen and sees Louis leaning against the side of one of the counters talking to a couple of his friends. It's obvious the moment Harry sees him that Louis is supposed to be a pirate. His legs are covered by red and black striped pants. The top is a long-sleeved white shirt, its sleeves hanging slightly loose on Louis' arms. Over them, he has a black vest, and on his head is a red bandana. The eye patch is pushed up, laying against the bandana._

_As if he sensed Harry, Louis turns his head, offering a grin as he holds up a finger, signaling for Harry to wait. He turns back to his friends, says something Harry can’t hear before slapping each of them on the shoulder and turning to make his way to Harry._

_“You made it,” he says in greeting, his arms immediately opening and wrapping around Harry’s middle in a hug. “Missed you,” he adds on almost inaudibly._

_The admission makes Harry grin as he hugs Louis back tightly, pulling him as close to his own chest as he can get him. For a moment, he forgets where they are. The loud noise of the party guests and the music fade to nothing as he soaks up every piece of Louis he can._

_“Couldn’t miss an opportunity to see you,” Harry replies. “I’ve missed you too.”_

_All too soon, Louis pulls away, looking Harry up and down, studying his costume._

_“What in the hell are you supposed to be?”_

_“You really don’t know? Come on. You could at least try to guess.”_

_Louis just stares at him. Harry slings his hands in the air and sings out. “I can’t get no, satisfaction.”_

_“Oh god, you didn’t.” Louis bursts in a fit of laughter._

_“Mick Jagger is a legend. Of course, I did.” Harry laughs too, putting his arms back down at his sides. “I wanted to be original. Not that yours isn’t. You make a very cute pirate.”_

_“Arrg, cute enough to get some of your booty later?” Louis smirks. Harry snorts, giving Louis a playful shove. “What? You know that was a good one, punny man.”_

_“It was. Which is why I’ll let you get me a drink,” Harry says cutely, biting his bottom lip. He doesn’t miss the way Louis’ eyes dart down to his mouth as he licks his own lips._

_“Lucky me. Let’s get you a drink, Styles.”_

_Louis puts his hand on the small of Harry’s back as he leads him over to the fridge, his fingertips hot on Harry’s skin when they slip underneath his jacket, resting right where his cropped shirt ends._

_“Beer okay?”_

_Harry nods and Louis pulls out two cans of cheap beer after tossing the empty bottle in his hand in the trash nearby. He passes one of the cans to Harry._

_“They must have drunk all the good beer already,” Louis says as Harry pops the top on his can and takes a sip._

_He’s not a big fan of beer, but he can’t complain. Not when the prettiest boy at this party is standing in front of him._

_“Louis!” a voice calls out. A blonde-haired man dressed in a toga seemingly made out of a white bedsheet appears at their side. “I need a partner for beer pong. You in?”_

_“No can do, Josh. I’m here with my boy,” Louis says as he slips his left arm around Harry’s waist again. Josh looks sullen and walks off as Harry turns to Louis. “You’re so good at beer pong people seek you out to be on their team?”_

_Louis shrugs, a half grin on his face. “What can I say? You have a man of many talents right here.”_

_“Hmm,” Harry mumbles as he raises a brow. “And your boy?”_

_Gone is the playful cocky look on Louis’ face, now replaced by a shy smile as he shrugs again, then changes the subject. “Come on. I saw someone dressed as professor Phillips. You’ll get a kick out of that if we bump into the guy.” He holds his hand out and Harry drops his own in Louis’ letting himself be pulled out into the living room._

_An upbeat song has the crowd dancing, the singer’s words going on about someone’s body on his and losing all of his innocence. _

_“You want to dance?” Harry leans in and asks._

_“I don’t dance.”_

_“So, you’ve said. But I’ve yet to see for myself.”_

_“I’ve enjoyed being around you. I’d like to keep you a little longer before scaring you away with my dancing.” Louis squeezes his hand and turns back around, dragging Harry further towards the hallway._

_Harry’s heart rate picks up. Are they really about to get frisky in some random frat brother’s bedroom? At the end of the hall, Louis opens the door revealing a game room. A pool table sits in the center of the room, a handful of guys around it, already into a game. There are some girls present too, some chatting to each other and a couple others hanging off the guys who aren’t currently shooting pool._

_They’re not here to get frisky._

_“Don’t mind us, guys. Just had to get away from the crowd for a moment,” Louis calls out. _

_A brunette guy Harry recognizes from his Music Appreciation class, decked out in a police officer uniform looks up. “You up for a game, Louis?”_

_“Not right now. Ask me after another drink.” Louis laughs and steps towards the far corner of the room where a dartboard is hung up. “You know how to play, Harry?”_

_“Not well. I’ve only played a few times for fun.”_

_“Perfect. Let’s have some fun, then.”_

_Harry nods and takes another pull from his beer. “I’m in. You’re not a secret dart shark, are you?”_

_“Guess you’ll have to find out,” Louis responds playfully. He sits his beer on a table nearby, and his hands reach out for Harry’s hips. “Wanna make this interesting?”_

_“What do you have in mind?” Harry challenges back._

_“Let’s make a bet,’ Louis says as his fingers dig slightly deeper into Harry’s soft love handles._

_“But you’ll win for sure. I’m not good at darts.”_

_“Honestly, I’m shit at it too. But one of us will be victorious.”_

_“Okay fine,” Harry concedes. “If I win, you have to dance with me.” He ignores Louis groan. “And you can’t complain. You have to act like you’re enjoying it.”_

_“Should have known you were going to say that. Fine.”_

_Harry grins triumphantly “What do you want if you win?”_

_“You,” Louis says without hesitation, his blue eyes locked intensely on Harry’s._

_“Me?” Harry’s eyes draw in and his dick twitches in the restrains of his too tight jeans, his mind already summoning up images of Louis’ hands all over him. “You want me? Harry repeats._

_“Yeah, you.” Louis chuckles. “If I win, you have to be my boyfriend.”_

_The blood from Harry’s dick rushes up to his face, making his cheeks hot. Louis releases his hands, moving to the board, pulling the darts out._

_“You want to go first?”_

_“You go,” Harry replies. He wonders if it would be too obvious if he were to throw this game to Louis._

_“One round. Highest total score of all three darts wins.” Louis walks back over and holds one of the darts up, squinting one eye for a moment as he works on his aim. The serious look on his face has Harry feeling endeared._

_When he throws the dart, it hits right above the bullseye on the twenty. “Off to a good start. Hope you’re ready to change your relationship status.” Louis brags before preparing for his second shot. _

_The dart goes farther right than Louis wanted, making him let out a curse under his breath. “A two. What the fuck?”_

_“You got cocky too early on,” Harry remarks with a smirk. _

_“I prefer confident over cocky. I don’t like to lose. Especially with the stakes this high,” Louis says, turning back to the board. He tosses his last dart and it hits just a hair shy of the inner circle of the bullseye, right on the thirteen._

_“Thirty-five. That’s your number to beat. Or try to beat anyway.”_

_Harry walks to the board and plucks the darts out, then heads back to the throwing mark. He’s not going to try. He’s going to just throw it blindly. Maybe he’ll get lucky and one of the darts won’t even hit the board at all._

_“Watch out!” Louis yells out right as Harry tosses the dart, making him jump. _

_“Jesus, Louis!” _

_“Are you kidding me?” Louis stares at the board in disbelief. Harry looks over and his mouth drops too, the dart poking in the red rim around the bullseye. _

_“Well, shit. Your sabotage backfired,” Harry says solemnly. “How many points is that?”_

_“Twenty-five.” Louis sighs. “I’m not saying a word this time.”_

_Harry lifts the next dart and automatically tosses it, hitting the three at the bottom. Much better._

_Taking a glance at Louis, he sees the older boy give him a little grin as he crosses his arms over his chest. “Moment of truth.”_

_Harry sucks in a breath and shuts his eyes completely, hoping no one decides to run in front of the board. He throws it and hears the hit the board. He looks back at Louis before even sparing the board a glance._

_A small frown is on Louis’ face as he stares at the board. When his eyes meet Harry’s though, he smiles. _

_“I guess we’re dancing,” Louis says with defeat in his voice._

_Harry looks over and sees his dart resting right at the edge of the board on the sixteen. Damn it, he’s really won. This has to be the foulest tasting victory he’s ever had._

_“We don’t have to go dance, Lou. I was just teasing at you. I didn’t expect to win, honestly.”_

_“I didn’t expect you to either. No offense, baby,” Louis smirks and uncrosses his arms, closing the distance between them. He lifts to his tip toes and places a soft kiss on Harry’s lips. “I always honor my bets. We’re dancing._

_They start for the door hand in hand as they then walk down the hall, back towards the living room. Harry can already hear Rita Ora’s “I Will Never Let You Down,” blaring before they’re even there._

_“Can you dance to this?” He asks Louis._

_“When you can’t dance at all, anything will do.” He grabs Harry’s hand and pulls him towards the small cluster of people that are in the center of the living room. Louis bobs his head, taking Harry’s other hand in his too, as his cheeks pinken. “I’m really terrible at this.”_

_“Just have fun with it. It doesn’t matter. No one is looking at us anyway,” Harry assures him and removes his hands from Louis, resting them on the curve of his hips, bringing their bodies closer together. He smiles down at Louis and Louis returns it. _

_“I guess you’re right. I shouldn’t care what anyone, but you thinks anyway,” Louis slips his arms around Harry’s neck, and presses his mouth against Harry’s, kissing him so fiercely, Harry thinks he can feel it in his toes. _

_They kiss for a few bars of the song, and Louis finally breaks it. “I’m much better at that than dancing,” he says with a chuckle. Clearing his throat, he gives Harry a smile. “Harry? I know I didn’t win but, any shot of you agreeing to be my boyfriend anyway?”_

_A warmth spreads through Harry’s entire body and his eyes light up. “I think I can do that.”_

_“Yeah?” Louis says with excitement in his tone. “It was worth losing at darts, now.”_

_“I was trying to lose,” Harry admits. “But it looks like I won in both ways. Boyfriend.”_

_“I can’t believe Mick Jagger is my boyfriend,” Louis jokes as the song comes to a close. _

_“I can’t believe Louis Tomlinson is mine.”_

*****

**Wednesday**  
Neither of them have brought it up. The kiss that shouldn't have happened, is all Louis has been able to think about this morning, but he wouldn't dare bring his sadness from yesterday into this morning, especially when Harry is actually deciding not to be an asshole by not bringing it up either. To be fair, he hasn't has said more than a handful of words to Louis this morning, but Louis still takes that as Harry being kind, probably not wanting to embarrass Louis more than he already is. What was he thinking?

Really, he shouldn't even ask himself. He knew what he was thinking. Nothing. That was his problem. Seeing his grandparents' names carved into the table, on top of having to discuss his grandfather's death with Harry in his tipsy state had him all out of sorts. He wasn't thinking, because it almost felt natural to fall into Harry's arms and have him kiss him until he felt nothing but the love pouring off of Harry's lips and onto his own. 

The elephant sat between them all morning and on the trolley ride to Dollywood, but despite that, Louis is actually looking forward to this. He'd always loved going to amusements parks and fairs when he was younger. He still does, even now that he is older. There is something about the sounds of laughter, screams of joy, and the bright, flashy lights of the booths and rides that coaxes his inner child out. Plus, it beats being back at the cabin with Harry and having an unofficial competition to see who can go the longest without looking at the other one.

They each paid separately for their tickets when they arrived, and they still haven't managed to utter a word to each other. Louis risks a glance over at Harry and sees his eyes flittering over the rides in front of them. He's not smiling, and Louis realizes they probably look like the saddest chaps here. There should be a law against constant frowning at an amusement park. Unless you're facing the effects of too many go rounds on the Tilt-A- Whirl.

"Harry?" Louis stops walking and reaches out to grab Harry's wrist. He can't take this anymore. He needs to clear the air, set that elephant free so they can enjoy their day. "About last night-"

Harry cuts him off with a shake of his head. "It's fine, Louis. We don't have to talk to about. I know it didn't mean anything. You were sad, and I was there. We can forget it happened."

Out of all the things Harry could have said, that wasn't what Louis was expecting. It didn't mean anything to him. Louis mouth pops open, then snaps back shut, wanting desperately to ask Harry how the hell he could stand there, look him the eye and say that. Despite how he's feeling about it now, it definitely meant something to Louis, but he'd be damned to hell before he admits that now.

"Right, okay," he stutters out. "It didn't mean anything. I'm glad we're on the same page. We can put that behind us and enjoy today." Louis nods his head more like he's trying to convince himself rather than Harry.

"Right," Harry agrees and lets a smile take over his face. "Good, now let’s have some fun. We deserve it. Wanna know why?"

When Louis chooses to ignore him, Harry pokes his shoulder. "Ask me why, Lou."

Groaning, Louis slides a hand over his face. "Why Harry?"

"We deserve it after..." he starts snapping his fingers. "Workin' 9 to 5. What a way to make a livin'. Barely gettin' by. It's all takin' and no givin'," Harry sings out one of Dolly's greatest hits, then laughs gleefully. Louis tucks his lips in his teeth, but finally loses out and lets out a chuckle too. Leave it to Harry to unknowingly make things worse and fix it all in the next beat with his terrible humor and charm. The tension seems less tight already.

"Some of this stuff looks straight out of a cheesy western," Louis notes as they pass by some of the shops where he can see inside the windows. The shops are all wooden walls for the old timey feel, and even the ladies running the shops are wearing floral dresses with aprons around their middles, making them appear straight out of the 60's.

"It adds to the experience. It's not cheesy. In fact, before we leave, I think I’ll need to purchase a cowboy hat. Really get into the spirit and all."

"If you wear a cowboy hat, I'm going to laugh at you all day. Just a fair warning," Louis jokes.

"Might toss one on your head too. Then we can pretend we are starring in a remake of Brokeback Mountain."

Another laugh escapes Louis without his consent, and Harry seems to be thriving off of actually making Louis genuinely laugh. "Really? You think we'll get a better ending than-"

He's cut off when Harry's large hand is covering his mouth. "Shh, don't spoil the ending of it!"

"You've seen the movie," Louis scoffs as he removes the hand that's clamping his mouth. "With me."

"Yeah, but the people walking by might not have seen it, so no spoilers," Harry scolds, wagging his finger before lightly bopping the tip of Louis' nose with his index finger. Louis blinks in surprise but doesn't say anything.

"What do you want to go on first?" Louis asks, as they head deeper into Dollywood.

"I saw those big swings when we pulled up. Can we ride those? I always enjoyed those."

The pair head to the Waltzing Swinger and Harry hums while they wait in the surprisingly short line. They step up and each head to their own vacant swing when they're told to and a worker helps them get locked in. Harry is in the swing behind him, but still too far away to talk to, but Louis hears Harry shout his name. He twists his body the best he can in his plastic seat and peers behind him. Harry is smiling stupidly large, both his hands wrapped around the metal chains and the tip toes of his feet on the ground like he's preparing to physically swing himself.

"Louis, your feet!" He lets out a laugh.

Louis lifts a brow in confusion. "My what?"

"Your feet. They don't reach the ground. You look like you're in a booster seat!" Harry's honking laugh rips through him and Louis frowns and swiftly turns back around to face the front, stretching his legs out as much as he can. Damn it. Harry wasn't kidding. There's at least two inches of space between his feet and the ground.

Instead of turning around, he lifts his middle finger up beside his head quickly, hoping that Harry is the only one who sees and not one of the children also on this ride with them.

"It's cute," he hears Harry call out.

The hairs on the back of his neck stand at attention. Forcing himself not to turn around, he grabs the chains in each hand and lets out a breath. It shouldn't matter, shouldn't mean anything to him, but he feels himself blushing anyway. The swings start to lift straight up in the air, bringing everyone's feet off the ground before they start moving forward slowly, starting to build up the momentum.

When the swings pick up speed, the wind hits his face as he lifts it skyward, taking in the mountains he can see in the distance as the ride continues on swinging them in a circle. Louis can hear the sound of Harry’s laugh and that only adds to the exhilaration he’s feeling now, soaring weightlessly in the air. None of his worries seem to touch him up here. 

All too soon, the ride comes to an end and he’s brought back down to reality. He lifts the bar keeping him secured and slides down to his feet. Harry is by his side as soon as he turns to start heading towards the exit.

“That was fun,” Harry says gleefully. “Did you see the mountains?”

“Of course, I did. Kind of hard to miss a mountain isn’t it?” he smirks and Harry scoffs and gives him a playful little shove that has Louis letting out a chuckle.

That’s when he knows they’re going to be okay. They’re going to get through the rest of this vacation and his memory of this trip will be something he can look back on happily years later. Even if Harry’s won’t be there to remember it with him.

*****

Harry’s not okay. He’s shifting his weight from foot to foot, letting out a deep breath every so often like that will calm his racing heart. They’re in line at the Thunderhead Rollercoaster.

This is the ride Louis is most excited to go on as he told Harry after they finished the tour of Dolly’s old tour bus. The wooden rollercoaster sits between two mountains, standing as tall as the trees dotted around on the mountainsides. 

“It rises up to 100 feet and then drops,” Louis had gushed with childlike excitement. “It hits 55 miles per hour, too. The website said it’s the wildest ride at Dollywood.”

Now, the concern is evident on Harry’s face.

“I know you don’t like rollercoasters, H, or you used to not. I don’t mind riding it alone if you don’t want to do this.”

“No,” Harry refutes with a shake of his head. “I don’t want you to go alone. I can do this.”

“You’re sure? You don’t have to prove anything to me.”

“I want to do this. Everyone should face their fears at some point, right?”

A small smile makes its way to Louis’ face and that alone makes Harry think getting on this wooden death trap will be worth it. It’s the least he can do for Louis.

Yesterday, when Louis had asked Harry to kiss him, he gave in. He should have put up a stronger fight against the magnetic pull his body seems to still have with Louis’.

Louis had been vulnerable. He was sobbing on the balcony recalling the death of his grandfather. Harry feels like he took advantage of Louis’ moment of weakness despite Louis asking him for the kiss because of the way Louis withdrew from him afterwards, avoiding his gaze and his touch like Harry had some terrible disease he could catch by acknowledging Harry’s existence. It was all too familiar for Harry’s liking. Withdrawn Louis was someone he was sadly very familiar with and he didn’t want that Louis to be the one occupying the rest of the vacation.

It had been hard seeing Louis agree so easily to his lie. As if kissing Louis again for the first time in a year didn’t completely spin his world around and send his heart on a high-speed chase without a known destination in site. No matter what, even the slightest touch from Louis was significant. Good or bad, it will always matter to Harry in some way.

“We’re next,” Louis says, bringing Harry’s mind back to the present. “Last chance to back out.”

“Not a chance. We’re doing this.” He gives Louis what he hopes to be a confident smile, but he knows his features feel tight and forced rather than natural.

“Next two,” the middle-aged man working the ride calls out and Louis is quick to climb the steps up to the boarding platform. He slides in and pats the tan seat beside him, looking at Harry with expectant eyes.

At least the cart is closer to the back. Harry knows he couldn’t withstand the front cart. He’s not certain he’s going to be able to withstand this cart. The back is less scary, right?

Angling his long legs into the floorboard of the seat, he slips in beside Louis and the worker pulls the safety bar down in front of them. Louis is nearly vibrating with anticipation and Harry can feel it where their thighs are pressed against each other’s.

“Too bad you couldn’t bring your camera for this. The view from the top is sure to be spectacular.”

“I’m sure we’ll be whipping around too fast to actually see anything more than a blur if what you said earlier is true.” Harry pushes against the safety bar to make sure it’s secure. Thankfully, it doesn’t budge under the strength of his shove. “Fifty-five miles an hour, seriously? This thing is all wood. Do you know how easily wood weathers outside? One dodgy board and this whole thing could go down. Is this safe? Has it passed all the safety regulations?”

“Relax, H. This ride has been running perfectly fine all day. We’ll be fine,” Louis assures him.

Exhaling a deep breath, Harry nods his head, trying to believe Louis’ words. When he finally thinks he’s not going to shit himself, the ride lurches forward with a slight whine before the click clack of metal against metal takes over and they’re moving.

Harry grips the bar in front of him so painfully tight, he feels he’s giving himself early arthritis. Then, the worry that squeezing the bar will somehow unlatch it and send him flying off the coaster hits him, so he moves his hands off the bar like it’s suddenly caught fire.

They’re still moving fairly slow, but they’re picking up the pace with every inch forward.

“Louis,” he gasps out, struggling to suck in another breath. “I’m freaking out. I want off! I want off now! I lied. I don’t want to face my fears anymore. I can’t do this. I can’t!” he panics, his lungs burning as they finally take in a mouthful of air. Louis’ head turns to him, his pretty blue eyes soft with sympathy. One of his hands grabs Harry’s which are still awkwardly dangling in the air by his chest.

“Yes, you can. You can do this. We can do this, we are doing this! Squeeze my hand. I’m right here. Right beside you.” Louis’ smaller hand is cradling his. He gives it a reassuring squeeze. “I won’t let anything happen to you.”

Harry closes his eyes and focuses on nothing but the weight of Louis’ palm against his own. He manages to give Louis’ hand a squeeze in return, but he doesn’t release his grip since they’re now going much faster. The rollercoaster takes a sharp left turn on their dawdling climb upward. The force of it pulls Harry’s body along with it, pressing him even closer against Louis. That along with the help of the fierce wind hitting them has the scent of Louis’ cologne wafting around the air between them, right into Harry’s nose. With his eyes still tightly shut, all that seems to be around him now is Louis. His mind clamps onto one thought: I am safe.

For some reason, they’re slowing down again, and Harry feels his neck falling backwards from the gravity of their upward climb towards the top of the hill.

“Harry, open your eyes.”

“No.”

“Please? It’s worth it. I promise.”

As Louis’ hand squeezes his again, he finally finds the courage to open his eyes and his mouth drops. 

They’re at the very top of the ride, now at a standstill. The entire park and the people milling about are laid out beneath them. Beyond that, more mountains are surrounding them, dotted with trees in every direction as far as Harry’s eyes can see. It’s like they’re on top the world, or they might as well be from the rush of adrenaline he feels coursing through his veins.

“It’s beautiful,” Harry breaths out, his eyes moving from the vast landscape in front of him to the man sitting at his side. Louis is beaming, and although it’s overcast today, clearly the sun is out and taken residence in his ex’s body. Louis is glowing with happiness and the wind is still breezy enough that Louis’ fringe is fluttering around his head like a feather. Maybe he spoke that sentence just a moment too soon and he should have waited to use it now that he’s looking at Louis.

“Told you it was worth it. I wouldn’t steer you wrong.”

Louis could steer him off of this rollercoaster right now, and he’d probably jump right after him.

Without a warning, the ride darts forward again, causing Harry’s right hand to land on the safety bar again to brace himself, his left hand still in Louis’ grasp. Louis brings his free hand over, taking Harry’s in both of his now, everyone else’s shoot up into the air as they drop over the edge of the hump, practically freefalling. 

Harry lets out a terrified scream and he’s sure Louis was mistaken. It feels closer to 100 than 55 in terms of speed, he clutches Louis’ fingers like a vice grip, like it’s the only thing keeping his body glued to his seat.

Struggling to keep his eyes open, Harry fights the pull of the ride to look over just as Louis lets out a loud laugh followed by a happy yell that gets lost in the sky the closer to the ground they get.

They reach the bottom after what feels like three eternities and pull back up at the boarding platform. Louis pulls his hands away and he already feels the emptiness it leaves. Harry knows his curls must be sitting wildly on his head, possibly resembling a bird’s nest if the look of Louis’ wild hair that’s darting in every possible direction is anything to go by, but he’s about to step back on solid ground. He can’t find it in him to care about his hair.

The bar is lifted by the same worker that helped them on and Harry steps off first, Louis following behind. 

“Thank God!” Harry calls out. “I am never doing that again.”The thought of dropping to his knees and kissing the ground crosses his mind, but he refrains from actually doing so.

“You don’t have to do that one again,” Louis says. “There are plenty more rollercoasters here we can go on.”

Harry squawks, about to protest when Louis starts in again. “Come here! I didn’t know they did this.” He’s heading towards what looks like a ticket window set up right beside the Thunderbird ride. Harry follows.

They get to the window and Louis is already pulling out his wallet.

“How much?” he asks the bored twenty something year old guy in the booth.

“Five dollars,” he replies in a monotone.

Louis passes the cash over and a few moments later, the guy passes a strip of paper through the window, depositing it in Louis’ waiting hand.

“What is it?” Harry asks.

“They do pictures. When we were stopped at the top and right when we started to fall.”

“Let me see.” He takes it from Louis, seeing the two pictures of the back portion of the roller coaster. His eyes zero in on himself and Louis.

In the picture on top, they are looking right at each other, Harry wearing a serious expression and Louis smiling softly back at him, their eyes locked on each other’s, he thinks from what he can see since their heads are turned, only showing their profiles.

This had to be when Harry finally opened his eyes and said the view was beautiful, only to mean something or someone else was beautiful after the words left his lips.

The bottom photo is the drop. Harry’s eyes are bugged out with fear and again, Louis is smiling, but wide this time, looking happy as ever. It doesn’t go unnoticed by him that everyone else in the photo has both of their hands lifted high in the air. Everyone except Louis and Harry who have their hands wrapped in each other’s. 

He passes the photos back. “Oh hell, I look ridiculous in the last one. Looks like I’m pissing my pants.”

“I like it,” Louis snorts, staring at the photos again. “These pictures aren’t supposed to turn out good,” he states before ripping the perforated fold between them. “I’ll keep this one then,” he says as he brings his wallet out, shoving the photo inside. He holds the other one out to Harry.

The one he’s handed is the one where they’re looking at each other. Looking at it again, if Harry didn’t know any better, he’d think their ending had rewritten itself, the people in the photo’s ending turning out to be a happy one. He doesn’t say anything as he shoves it into the back pocket of his jeans.

“It wasn’t really so bad, was it?” Louis asks as they start heading back to rejoin the bustle of the park.

“Yes. It was just as bad as I thought it would be.” Harry corrects him. “But, I’m glad I did it.”

“That counts for something.”

Harry agrees silently, but tacks on, “Maybe, but for the record, I still hate rollercoasters.”

*****

“They said it’s just up the road. I assume they meant this road. Harry? Harry are you listening to me?”

“Yes, Louis. We’re walking up this road in the hopes of finding this moonshine place. Are you sure this is on the list of things your grandma said we should do?” Harry scratches his nose and then tucks a piece of hair behind his ear.

“Yes, it’s on the list. Though to be honest, this one does look more like my grandpa’s handwriting than my grandma’s.” Louis gives a small laugh as he looks at the list a little closer. “It’s somewhere on this street; somewhere in this part of town. I know we have got to be close. Let’s get to the next cross street and if we still haven’t found it, I’ll ask someone.”

“You will?” Harry gives Louis a surprised look, raising an eyebrow. “Since when do you ask for directions?”

“Since I want to find a place that serves moonshine, legally. Move your feet Styles.”

Harry grins and starts dancing. Louis shakes his head and keeps walking. Once Harry has had enough, he follows Louis and reaches out for Louis’ hand out of habit, threading his fingers with the other man’s and giving a squeeze like he used to. It is such an instinctual move that Harry hasn’t even realized he did it, until Louis squeezes his back. In shock, Harry stops dead in his tracks and Louis almost gets yanked backwards by Harry. As he turns to ask what is up, Louis’ eyes get wide.

“There it is! We found it. Come on, let’s go. Ole Smoky Moonshine, that’s an awesome building. The roof is old, like a barn…but it’s not keeping animals safe.”

“Well, you haven’t started drinking yet, Lou. It might.” Harry laughs as Louis drops his hand to flip him off. “Same old Louis.”

“Yep, same old Louis. Now walk faster, Harry. They have tastings every half hour and we can make the next one if you walk like you’ve got some sense of purpose.” To prove a point, or to make Louis happy; whichever it is, Harry walks faster so they make the next tasting.

They make their way to the counter and show their IDs, pay, and then are ushered up to the counter, where the distiller is cleaning up the last round, and a twenty something brunette is helping carry her man away from the bar. Harry watches, his lip caught between his thumb and forefinger.

“What?”

“What? Oh, nothing. I was just thinking how nice it is that we did Dollywood first. This stuff looks strong if that guy is any indication, and I am sure we wouldn’t be enjoying rides if we were toasted.”

“Toasted? What are you? A marshmallow?” Louis smiles then grabs Harry’s hand away from his lip and squeezes those long, nimble fingers again. “Harry. You’re gonna be fine. If I need to carry you home, I will. Remember, this is why we took a trolley to Dollywood and then down the street. It’s ok to drink, we aren’t driving.”

Harry nods as they settle at the U-shaped bar and give their attention over to the distiller who explains what is about to happen.

“We have ten samples for you today. You can try one, you can try ten, or any combination of them all. There is a list between each pair of you with today’s samples and the order we hand them out. If you find one you don’t want to try, just turn your thimble over and I’ll move to the next person in line. I will name each one as I start pouring, but please double check the list for names or titles that you might not like. We have samples today of our holiday line and the last of our summer stock, so you’re really going to get a mixture. This first sample is our plain, or original moonshine.” She starts pouring and the two men beside Louis turn their thimbles over right away. Louis does not.

“Are you really going to do this, Louis?”

“Yes. We paid for this.” Louis takes his shot and coughs, and coughs. “Fuck me sideways. That was strong shit! I think we should have eaten first.”

“That was delicious.” Harry licks his lips after taking his shot. “We can eat after we finish.”

“You liked that? Harry, it was pure alcohol. There wasn’t any flavor.”

“So? I thought it tasted good. Let’s have the next one. What is it…strawberry lemonade. That must be a summer flavor. I really want to try that one.”

“I do too.” Louis can’t help but smile at Harry. The distiller gets their next thimble filled and Harry raises his up to Louis. 

“Cheers, Lou.”

“Cheers, Harry.” They take the shot and Louis gives a wicked grin. “Ooh, I like that. I want to take some of that one home.” He licks the inside of the thimble. Harry nods and sits his empty thimble down then squints at the list. Quickly he turns over his thimble and then Louis.

“What?”

“The next one is banana. You can’t have that, so I won’t either. We can sit out one. I think we’ll be plenty wasted on the other nine.”

“I think you’re right, Harry. You’re already starting to blur around the edges a bit.” Harry holds up three fingers and then starts wiggling them in front of Louis’ nose. “Stop that!”

“How many fingers do you see, Louis? How many? Come on, this is an easy one. It’s two more than you flipped me off with.”

“I see one and a half of you already. So that means five. Stop, please. Ooh, the next round is coming. Put your hand down, you’ll need it to drink.”

“You think so little of my talents, Lou.” Harry smirks and tips the next thimble of amber liquid back while still wiggling those fingers, then he reaches for the bar. “Damn, mistake if ever there was one. I’m dizzy.” Louis doesn’t answer, but he smirks. Harry sees the smirk and blushes. 

“Harry?”

“Yes, Lou?” Harry looks at Louis and swears he sees a spark shooting back at him.

“Um, thanks. For the banana thing. I didn’t even notice that one on the list.” Louis gets a bit pink around the neck and he grabs the list to avoid looking at Harry’s sexy smile. “Hey! They have pumpkin and peppermint left for us to try. I bet those will be good. Yeah?”

“Yeah, I bet they will. We only have one way to find out, right?” Harry still has his lovely, dopey smile on his face and Louis has a fleeting thought of taking the next shot out of one of Harry’s deep dimples. He clears his throat.

“Harry, can I…”

“Louis, would it be weird…”

“You first.” Louis grins when they both start talking at the same time.

“Oh, um, well. Okay, I was going to ask if it would be weird if I took the next shot out of your clavicle hollow.” Harry turns redder than the drink was already making him when Louis starts laughing.

“I was going to ask if I could take one out of your dimples! We still seem to know what the other is thinking.” The distiller moves to them then past after filling their thimbles with a grape moonshine. They both down it quickly, too quickly—the heat from their bodies bouncing between each other like visible beams. While Harry coughs, Louis grins.

“This is the yest bet. I mean the best bet. No, the best yet. Damn, we definitely need to eat as soon as we can after this. How many is that? How many do we have left?”

“I’ll count, hold on.” Harry turns to the thimbles and raises a finger, tapping the line. “One, two, free, floor. No that’s not right, I can do this. One, two, three, four…um. What comes after four? Five, right? We have five so far. That’s cool. Oh, my goodness!”

“What!”

“That means we still have five to go and that is crazy! I’m already tipsy. Why are you laughing? Louis! Don’t laugh at me.” Harry pouts out his bottom lip and Louis can’t help himself, he reaches out and pinches that lip with his finger.

“Oh! Sorry, Harry. I wasn’t thinking.”

“Louis, you don’t have to apologize. You can touch my lips anytime you want.” Louis’ blue eyes find Harry’s green ones and that spark that was obvious between them just a few minutes ago, flares again. This time, it is bright enough to light the dimly lit bar area around them.

“Excuse me, sirs. You are a shot behind. This one is licorice flavored and the one I’m about to pour is our cinnamon. Do you want to try them both?”

“Yes. Please, we’re sorry. Paying attention now, promise.” Harry says to the distiller, while his eyes never leave Louis’. They take the two shots and then try and pay attention as the last three shots are poured and given to them.

They finish their tasting and grab the list they have marked and work their way through Ole Smoky, getting matching tee-shirts and four different types of moonshine before they stumble their way outside.

“Louis! I need to eat. I need to eat soon. Please? I feel like I’m sloshing as I walk.”

“Yeah, we really should food some find. Food some find. Oh, you know what I mean! Hey look! A candy store! Harry lets go get some candy. Come on, we can do this.” Louis grabs Harry’s hand and pulls him across the square to the candy store. Inside, Louis is lit up like a kid at Christmas as he grabs a bucket and starts filling it with candy from the barrels.

“Louis. Calm down, lov-,” Harry pauses, correcting himself. “Lou. You are gonna spend all your nomey on candy.”

“Hahaha, you said nomey. That’s not the right word. The word is monkey. And I don’t have any monkey left on me. I was going to use my credit card.”

“I don’t think monkey is the right work either. I think that’s an animal. You need to eat. You’re drunk.”

“Yeah, I am. But I want candy first.” Louis fills his basket and when he goes to pay, his credit card almost smokes from the amount of candy he buys. Twenty minutes later they are sliding into a booth at the first fast food restaurant they came across with trays of greasy burgers and fries.

“Best. Food. Ever.” Harry all but moans as he sinks his teeth into a burger with cheese, ketchup, mustard, and lettuce.

“We didn’t order drinks. I’ll go get some.” Louis gets up and weaves his way to the counter then comes back with four bottled waters. “I figured we could use some water. A lot of water actually.”

“You read my mind, Louis.”


	6. Thursday

_"H, I'm tired," Louis says for the fourth time this week, as he wiggles a little to scoot further away from Harry. Harry stares at the back of his head frowning, just like he's done every night before. Only tonight, the fight is stewing deeper in Harry._

_It's not like Louis is lying. Harry knows that. Classes and the new paid internship at Buckley Agencies has been a lot for Louis to handle. At first, Harry thought Louis was still in an adjustment period. That things would get better once Louis figured out how to balance everything._

_That was almost three months ago. Since then, Harry has felt insignificant; like he's simply floating around Louis' space and he's just here because Louis is used to having him here. Would Louis even notice if he left? Maybe it wouldn't hit him until he tucks into bed for the night. Then he'd realize he didn't have to push himself away from Harry's waiting arms._

_Would he care then?_

_Harry shakes his head, then lets it fall against his pillow before rolling to his back, staring at the ceiling even though the room is cast in darkness other than the sliver of moonlight peeking from behind the curtain on the window. If he glances back over at Louis, he knows he'll see the diagonal strip of light hitting Louis' shoulder blade, stretching all the way up to Louis' head and getting lost in his hair. If Louis were turned the correct way, facing Harry, that strip would dance across Louis' face as he sleeps, right across his sharp cheekbone, not quite touching the long lashes fanned out from his closed eyes. Harry's seen it countless times since they moved into this apartment together, but it's been a while. The yearning to see it now settles deep in Harry's chest, so much so that he lifts a hand, laying it over his heart._

_He should let it go, like he always does. He shouldn't say a word, but tonight, he's too sad to act like they're still who they used to be._

_"Louis?"_

_Silence. That would be okay, but Harry knows Louis too well. He knows Louis isn't sleeping or he'd hear the cadence of Louis' soft breaths with the faintest sound of a soft snore._

_He hears nothing but silence now._

_"I know you're awake," he pushes._

_An annoyed sigh comes from Louis. "I'm trying not to be. I told you I'm tired."_

_"You're always tired. When will you not be tired?"_

_"Says every man every time he wants sex and doesn't get it," Louis smarts back._

_Harry shoots straight up in the bed, feeling his pent-up frustrations moving further and further to the surface. From where he's sitting now, he can see Louis' face. Louis didn't even open his eyes. That's how much he doesn't give a damn. "This isn't about sex, though can you even recall the last time we did fuck?"_

_"That's not one of my concerns right now. So, no I can't recall and don't want to. I have to be up at five thirty to make it to Buckley's on time, and then, I have to rush back to campus for classes until seven. I'm sorry if I can't find a minute to worry about when the last time you got your dick wet was," Louis spouts off, not a single muscle in his body flinching from where he lay._

_"I know you have long days. I understand you being tired at night, but Louis, I feel like we've barely spoken in weeks," Harry admits. He feels forgotten, like the bouquet of red roses sitting in the vase on their kitchen table that he got Louis for their anniversary last month. The ones that Louis must be too busy to toss out. Harry can't bring himself to chuck them, as if he'd be throwing away more than the remains of dead flowers. "We haven't slept together since our anniversary."_

_"We're rarely here at the same time, and when we are, we're both working on homework. We're both in our senior year, too close to the end to mess up now. What do you expect me to do? I can't pull more time out of my ass like a fucking magician."_

_"Tell your boss you need a break. Tell them you can't do Saturdays anymore. Louis, never mind me, it’s more than that, you've got to give yourself some form of a break."_

_"We need the money, Harry," Louis deadpans. "All my savings went into the trip we booked during the summer. We have bills. Not to mention I can't just tell my boss I don't want to work the hours they’re giving me. This isn't Barbara's Bakery."_

_Harry feels his pride take the hit, finally filling him to the brim with anger. It’s almost spewing from every pore in his body. He quickly crawls out of bed, and wouldn't you know, that is what finally gets Louis scooting up to look at him. The line of moonlight is shining over his crossed arms._

_"What are you doing?" he asks, watching Harry round the bed, coming over to Louis' nightstand._

_Harry snatches Louis' phone, pulling the charging cord out of it. Louis' seems to have caught the heat off of Harry, eyes blazing like a smoldering blue fire. "Give me my phone!"_

_"Why? Are you hiding something on it?" Harry replies in a petty tone. Louis has never given him a reason not to trust him, but with how things are now, Harry feels the smallest inkling of distrust he's never felt before. "Since you won't help yourself, I'm doing it for you. I'm texting your boss and asking for Saturdays off."_

_"No, you're not," Louis bellows out, rising to his feet and rushing to Harry, hands scrambling to grab the phone. "This is none of your business Harry. Give it back, now," he commands._

_Harry lifts his arm up high, holding it from Louis' reach, his eyes locked tightly on Louis._

_"What the fuck?" Louis mumbles, rising to his tiptoes as he reaches up. "I'm not in the mood for this shit, Harry-"_

_"Are you cheating on me?"_

_"What?" Louis pulls back, arms frozen in air as he sinks back flat on his feet, his jaw slack as he looks back at Harry in disbelief._

_"Are you cheating on me, Louis? Is there someone else? Is it someone at work you're seeing? Is that why you won't ask for Saturdays off? Why you hardly talk to me anymore?"_

_"No, I'm not cheating on you. I'd never do that." Louis turns away from Harry, heading back towards the bed. "Do you not know me better than that?"_

_"I'm not sure I know who you are anymore," Harry whispers in defeat, sadness threatening to swallow him whole as he watches Louis slip back underneath their comforter._

_"I'm not a cheater. If you don't believe me, you can just keep the phone. Go through everything—pictures, messages, contacts—have at it. But the fact you even asked me that speaks volumes," Louis says as he works to set the alarm on the digital alarm clock on his nightstand. "Maybe I'm the one who doesn't know who you are anymore. Cause the man I love would never have asked me that."_

_As soon as the worlds leave his lips and he finishes with the clock, Louis flips over in the bed, once again turning away from Harry, but facing Harry's abandoned spot in the bed._

_Maybe Harry could slip back into the vacant place in the bed. He could apologize a hundred times, and wrap his arms around Louis, kiss him until he believes it. Hell, kiss him until they're not in this strange place anymore that feels like an alternate universe. The original Harry and Louis are probably cuddled in a post sex haze in their bed, whispering tidbits about their days to each other. The original Louis probably has Harry's engagement ring on his finger, carding the hand through original Harry's hair and smiling every time his eyes catch sight of it._

_That could be them again. Harry hopes more than anything they can find themselves again. He's just unsure how to get there._

_He picks up the charging cord and plugs Louis' phone back in, quietly sitting it back on the nightstand. Going through Louis' phone would only make things worse. The screen is still lit up from when he plugged it in. Harry's sees Louis' wallpaper is the same one it has been for ages. Taken last Christmas by Harry's mom, Louis is sat on the end of the dark brown plushy couch. Harry is sat in his lap. He remembers the day well, even though the photo is cut off at their waists. Harry's arms are around Louis' neck, his cheek resting on the top of Louis' head since he's a little big to be in Louis' lap. The smile on Harry's face is wide, the dimple on his cheek hidden in Louis' fringe._

_Louis' face tells a different story. His happiness isn't as clear as day like it is on Harry's face. One would have to search for it, would have to know Louis to get a clear read on his expression. There's a gentle tiny grin on his face, the space on either side of his eyes crinkling a tad. He's not just happy. He's in love. So in love._

_Harry feels a swell of emotions stirring inside of him. He wants to cry or scream. He wants to shove the phone in Louis' face and ask why he never looks at Harry this way anymore. Instead, he lets the screen turn black and walks away, making his way around the bed and back to his side. As soon as he lifts the covers, about to slide underneath, Louis turns over once again, offering Harry the view of his back. _

_With a heavy sigh and an even heavier heart, Harry releases the blanket and grabs his pillow. He walks over to the door, slowly dragging his feet from how heavy his body feels. He gets to the door and risks one more glance at Louis curled in their bed. He stares, pleading with his eyes for Louis to call out and tell him to come back to bed. Even if he spends the entire night on the edge of his side, as far away from Harry as he could get, it would still be something. It would tell Harry that he too wants them to get better, and maybe he's just as confused as Harry on where they went so wrong in their relationship: a relationship that has felt nothing but right since the beginning._

_Silence again._

_Harry shuts the door, going towards the living room. He drops his pillow at the end of the couch, then heads to the kitchen for a drink of water. He downs the entire thing in one go, and he catches sight of the dead roses on the table. His feet lead him to the table, grabbing the vase and moving to the trashcan. They fall from the vase all at once, and Harry shuts the lid before sitting the vase on the counter._

_It seems necessary, since he's about to sleep somewhere other than with Louis for the first time in nearly two years._

*****

** Thursday **

As Harry pays, Louis stands and looks at the opening in the high wall of corn in front of him.

“Are you sure about this, Harry?” Harry obviously mistakes Louis’ trepidation for fear of this maze. Ridiculous.

“It’s just a corn maze, Lou. They aren’t even going to have people jump out to scare us or chase us. It’s just for fun.”

“Yeah. I get that part from the sign.” Louis points to the sign by the opening that reads ‘Sevier County Corn Maze, Fun for the Whole Family.’ “I didn’t assume it would turn into ‘Saw, the Corn Maze’.” 

“Then what’s the hold up? Here’s your ticket. Let’s go!”

“Okay.” Louis takes his ticket and follows Harry into the mouth of the maze, handing the ticket to the taker with a small smile. He follows Harry left, then left, then right before he catches himself smiling. So does Harry.

“Having fun, Lou?” Harry is smirking at Louis and it takes everything Louis has to not kiss that smirk off Harry’s stupid, proud, handsome face. Wait, what?

“Yeah. Actually, I am. But Harry? Let’s have fun all of today. No fighting, no blaming, no repeating of how the fun moments this week turned bad. Yeah? Today is about good times, good plans, and the good memories my grandma and grandpa wanted us to make. Deal?” Louis takes a deep breath as he looks up to Harry’s blank face. Louis stays quiet, waiting and getting nervous until Harry’s face breaks out into a smile so bright, Louis has to blink.

“That sounds like a great idea, Louis. Let’s have fun and remember this is our only time here, so these memories are vital to our happiness.”

“Vital?”

“Hush. No fighting. Remember? That was your rule. Come on, I say we go right, right?”

“Whatever you say, Harry.” Louis bows with a flourish and lets Harry lead the way. Within five minutes, they are lost. Louis starts laughing.

“You could help, Lou. How did we get in a box with no doors? No way out! How?”

“Calm down, Hazza. It’s got to be an optical illusion. If we got in, surely, we can get out. We just have to look closely at the walls. One of these sides has to have an opening.” Louis turns to see Harry giving him a sad, but still warm smile. “What?”

“What?”

“Nothing. You called me Hazza. You haven’t called me that in a while. I miss hearing that name from you.”

Harry’s soft voice sends butterflies straight to Louis’ belly and he smiles, a blush covering his cheeks. 

“Shut up, Harry. Let’s just start looking for a way out of here.”

“Are you blushing?”

“No.”

“Yes, you are!”

“Am not; its ah, my hay fever.”

“This isn’t hay, Louis.”

“Corn fever. Whatever.” Louis turns and walks to the wall and starts feeling. Harry chuckles to himself and moves to a different wall.

They work silently for a few minutes and Harry starts humming to himself until he falls through an opening with a yell.

“Found it.”

“Yes, you did.” Louis laughs as he walks to Harry and holds out a hand to help him up. Harry takes it and they hoist him up and he jumps too much and winds up chest to chest with Louis.

“Harry.”

“Yes, Louis.” Louis wonders if Harry’s heart is beating out of his chest as loudly as his own. So loudly Louis knows that Harry has to hear it, maybe even feel it through the thin layer of Henley between them.

“You have a cornstalk in your hair.”

“Oh. Can you get it?”

Louis’ eyes get wide at Harry asking him to touch him. Slowly, torturously slowly, Louis reaches up and removes the piece of stalk from Harry’s curls. He shows it to Harry as he brings it down but instead of letting it fall to the ground as he should, Louis pockets the stalk and takes Harry’s hand.

“Come on, Hazza. I won’t let you fall again.”

Louis knows no matter what he says, he can’t promise that he won’t fall again because he clearly is. Hard.

*****

You have got to be kidding me!” Harry folds his arms over his chest and glares at Louis. “No way.”

“Why not? We did the pumpkin patch and the corn maze, why not do the crafts?”

“Because we aren’t 10?”

“Well, I am. But you are an old man, I guess. Come on, Hazza. It’s just pumpkin carving and face painting. We can have fun here for a little while, surely.”

“So, if I help you carve a pumpkin and let you paint my face, can I pick out our costumes for one of those old timey photos?”

“Oh. Oh, um...I didn’t, I didn’t see those.” Louis’ eyes get concerned because he knows better than to give Harry a blind promise. “Yes, but stipulating I will not wear a dress. Any form of dress.”

Harry visibly pouts, but then his normal mischievous grin returns.

“Okay, no girly clothes for the Tommo. Deal. Now, let’s get you a pumpkin to carve, but Louis, for the record, I wouldn’t have made you wear a dress.”

Harry laughs as Louis pushes him by the shoulder in camaraderie. Louis barks out a laugh of his own.

“I know you too well, Haz. Hey, grab that white pumpkin! Quick! I have an idea.”

“A ghost?”

“Shut up and grab the pumpkin, Styles.”

Harry smirks as he walks over and picks up the pumpkin, pulling out his wallet with one hand and, being the clumsy man he is, Harry almost drops the pumpkin.  
He sits it down carefully, and pulls out a bill from his wallet, hands it to the woman behind the table and grabs his pumpkin coming back to Louis.

“Not a word.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it. How much did this thing cost? I thought this was free.”

“It is. They’re taking donations for the county hospital. They want to update their children’s wing. I gave them ten.”

“You old softy. You’re a good guy, Harry. Really. A good guy.

Harry smiles and turns his clear green eyes to Louis and the good years are right there to see. Louis clears his throat and looks away.

“Time to carve this. Yeah?”  
“Sure, Louis. Do you want me to cut the top and gut it like normal?” Harry rolls his sleeves up as he talks and Louis smiles as he copies the movement and gives Harry a knife.

“Just the pumpkin though, Styles. No cutting yourself.”

“Have some faith in me, Louis. I am an adult.” Harry’s eyes crinkle and Louis has to look away to maintain his composure.

“I know you’re an adult, Harry. I just also know you and you’re a tad clumsy.”

“I am not! And I take offense at your vulgar insinuation. And one more-ouch! Oh, nevermind.”

“What Did you cut yourself?”

“No!” Harry quickly yells, though he also shoves his finger in his mouth and sucks on it.

“Harry. I told you to be careful! Let me see your finger.”

“Louis, I’m fine.” Harry shakes his hand, his finger still in his mouth. “Doesn’t really even hurt anymore. It was just a small knick, really.”

“You’re sure? I can get you a band aid.”

“I’m good, Louis, but thank you.” Harry gives Louis a smile and is rewarded with a soft smile in return. It is a small one, but Harry knows it is genuine because of the way the skin around Louis’ eyes crinkle.

***** 

An hour later, the pumpkin carving caretaker hands Louis his phone back and he and Harry smile at the picture of them with their ghost-carved pumpkin.

“I knew you’d do a ghost.”

“Shut up, Harry. Do you want to keep this or donate it to the children’s hospital? According to that sign, it’s an option.”

“Let’s donate it. We still have tickets for the pumpkin patch and we’d have to tote this around. Besides, we can carve a new one tonight at the cabin.”

“Great idea, Styles.”

“You don’t have to sound so shocked, Louis. I get a few of those a year. Now come on. I want one of those old timey photos and you promised.”

“I did. But remember---"

“I know. I know. No dresses for the Tommo.”

“Damn straight.”

“Oh, Louis, there’s nothing straight about you. Or me.”

“Oh my goodness, Harry!”

“What? It’s the truth.”

“Maybe. But I wanted to do the face painting too. Remember?”

“It we do the face painting, you’ll do the photo? And let me pick the costume?”

Harry has such a happy grin on his face that Louis can’t help but smile and nod.

“Yes, Harry. Whatever you want.”

“Don’t make blank promises, Louis. I could get you dressed up like a bear, or worse.”

Louis rolls his eyes and bites his tongue on the blank promises comment because it’s been a good day and he wants to keep it that way.

They walk towards the face painting booth and Louis laughs at the cringe on Harry’s face when he sees that they are by far the oldest in line.

“You’re absolutely sure you want to do this, Louis? We’re the only adults here who don’t have kids.”

“Of course I want to do this. Getting my face painted was always one of my favorite parts of the fair when...”

“When what?”

“When I was a kid. But it’s been years since I got to do this. Maybe you’re right though. We are kinda old. And we’ll mess up your pictures if we do it now. So, maybe we should pass. For now.”

“How about after the pictures? We can go take the pictures and come back and do this before we head to the pumpkin patch.”

“Really?”

Of course. After that admission, I’m not letting you leave here without a butterfly on your cheek.”

“Or we can decide on the ‘what’ later.”

*****

“Harry!” Louis cringes at the whine in his voice. “I am not coming out in this!”

“You promised! And I kept my end of the bargain. YOU aren’t in a dress.”

Louis’ head jerks up at Harry’s emphasis on the “you” and he pulls back the curtain and cracks up laughing.

“Holy shit, Harry. What are you wearing?”

“What?” Harry does a full turn in his frilly, short on the side where it’s been tied up, skirt. “You said you didn’t want to be in a dress. But I didn’t say that. So, I’m a saloon girl and you are my cowboy. Now get your ass-less-chaps-clad ass out here and let’s get this show on the road. I have your hat. Come on.”

Louis grabs the ten-gallon hat Harry is holding and puts it on his head, where it promptly falls over his eyes. He pushes it back some and moves over by the photographer, shaking his head at Harry.

“You are having entirely too much fun in your dress, Harry.”

“If I don’t flaunt it, I won’t get paid. And a girl has to make a living, cowboy.” Harry winks at Louis as the photographer sets them up in the first pose.

“Normally, we have the female companion sit on the counter here and cross her legs, but I don’t know if you are going to want to try that.” The photographer is trying to hide his smile, but when Harry climbs his ass up onto the counter and daintily cross his ankles, the photographer loses it and bursts out laughing. “This is definitely the most original photo I’ve taken here lately. Ok, gentlemen, on three. One…two…three.” There is a large, bright flash and the photographer moves his camera aside and smiles. “You two look really cute together. Ok, your package has three shots. Let’s try another pose. And some additional props? I have all sorts over here. One of you could try something else.”

“Eh, let’s stick with what we have. I wouldn’t want to get offensive here.”

“Offensive? Louis, this is all for fun. What can possibly be offensive about us having fun like this?”

“Your hairy legs in a skirt? The garter around your knee?”

“It wouldn’t go higher.”

“The feathers in your hair?”

“So, you’re just going to ignore my comments, Louis?”

“How happy and kissable you look right now.”

“What?” Harry’s laughter stops cold and his eyes find Louis’ own and the look that passes between the two men has Harry licking his lips with anticipation. But for what, he isn’t sure. Louis’ eyes follow the movement of Harry’s tongue and before he knows what he is doing, Louis grabs Harry by the back of the neck and crashes his lips with Harry’s pink ones.

It takes Harry all of about two seconds to let go of his surprise and welcome Louis’ kiss in a way he didn’t believe he would again after their split almost a year ago. His lips part and Louis’ warm tongue takes full advantage; slipping its way in to claim every corner of Harry’s mouth as it used to when Harry belonged to Louis. Harry hums into Louis’ mouth, the comfort and familiarity of this warm and loving action melting Harry’s brain into a stupor. Their noses bump in the same movement they always have, and Harry isn’t even aware that his own hands have grabbed Louis around the hips until he feels the stirring of his lower extremity against the friction of all that is Louis.

“Harry.” The whispered word is like a prayer sent straight from Louis’ mouth to Harry’s heart and his hands move to grip Louis’ plump ass, holding him close.

“Excuse me.” The photographer clears his throat. “Please don’t make me keep my next customer waiting too long. I have a line forming and while this is clearly a, special moment, I need to get your last pose in for your full package.”

Louis pulls back, panting hard and smiles at Harry; whose pink cheeks mirror Louis’ own. He turns to the photographer and smiles.

“Sorry. We got carried away. Last pose. I promise we’ll behave.”

“Just make sure it’s from the waist up.” Harry stands and adjusts himself, but to make it less obvious, he adjusts the top of his dress too. “I got a bit disheveled.”

“You did your fair share of disheveling too, Hazza. Almost ripped the seat out of my pants.” Louis smirks as Harry turns a wicked shade of red.

“That’s not my fault, Louis. I told you to go fully ass-less. Your ass is already too much for those pants. I uh, I see you’ve been keeping up with the squats.”

“Squats, shit. The elevator went out in my building at work. Three flights up and three flights down every day for the last two months.”

They get together and make their last pose: Louis pointing a fake gun at the camera while Harry hangs onto his shoulder with a dopey grin on his face and a fan in his hand. But the smile on both of their faces is huge.

*****

The guys change out of their costumes and gather their ticket.

“They’ll be ready in half an hour, just come back and hand that ticket to the girl up front. That’s my daughter, Jenna. She’ll have it all ready and waiting on you.”

“Thank you. And sorry for any time troubles.” Louis blushes as he puts the ticket into his wallet. “Harry, are you ready yet?”

“I’ve been ready, Lou. Right here, behind you. Let’s go get our faces painted. I have decided what I want to get. Are you still getting a butterfly?”

“No. You said I was getting a butterfly. I never agreed to that.”

“Oh, come on, Louis! You’ll look cute!” Harry flashes his dimples at Louis and bats his eyes.

“Harry.”

“Ok, ok. I give up. You can get whatever you want. Moth, winged worm, bread and butterfly. Anything with wings.”

They start walking and Louis falls silent, wondering if Harry is going to mention the kiss; does he regret it? Harry did kiss him back—Louis knows he did. Louis is sure that Harry kissed him back—he just wonders if it’s because Harry wanted to, or if it was just because Harry was caught off guard and the polite or natural thing to do was to return a kiss. Louis stops walking, his head down, lost in own world.

“Earth to Louis.” Harry snaps his fingers in front of Louis’ nose and when Louis jumps, Harry smiles. “Where’d you go? You were a million miles away.”

“I was. Sorry, just daydreaming. What did you want?”

“It’s our turn.” Harry motions to the face painting booth and Louis looks around him, unsure of how he got there. Two artists are waiting and smiling at them as Harry grabs Louis by the elbow and moves them closer. “You sure you’re ok? We don’t have to do this right now.”

“I’m fine, Harry. Really. I was just daydreaming. Get your butterfly and I’ll see you in a few minutes.” Louis turns to an artist and sits, smiling shyly at her. “Sorry about that. I didn’t mean to keep you waiting.”

“Not a problem. I’m here all day. So, do you know what you want to get? I have a list of things I can do here. You’re free to look at it and decide. Or you can ask for something else. I’ll do anything I can as long as I have the supplies.” Louis thinks the artist, the girl, looks about twelve, but she smiles brightly and nods when he tells her what he wants, so he lets it go and sits forward as she starts to work.

*****

“Aren’t you done yet?” Harry whines out at Louis and then laughs when Louis flips him off over his own shoulder.

“No, Styles. I am not done. Obviously. Or I would be up and moving off from this seat. I went with a design that is original and takes time for my skilled artist, Michelle, to complete. Now hush so I can quit talking and let her finish.”

“Fine. How about I go get our photos and come back? Will that be enough time, Louis, King of the painted faces?” Louis laughs out loud and Michelle even lets out a giggle, accidentally getting paint on the tip of Louis’ nose.

“See what you made her do, peasant? Go! Go and fetch my photos! The King has spoken.” He grins, ridiculously happy as Michelle cleans his nose and Harry’s laugh recedes as he moves off to pick up the photos from their costume package.

“Your boyfriend is very funny.” Michelle says softly to Louis. “I like having funny people here; makes my day go faster.”

“Harry is funny. But he isn’t my boyfriend. Not, not anymore. We really weren’t even friends when we came here, but now…”

“Well I hope someone tells him he isn’t your boyfriend, if that’s how you feel. Or you, for that matter. Has anyone told you that?” She looks Louis straight in the eye. “Because from where I’m sitting, you two are very much a couple. Or you most definitely need to be one. Now, one more detail and I’m done.” She brushes his cheek once more and then hands him a mirror. “What do you think?”

“Hey, that’s great! Thank you, Michelle. Really, it’s just what I was thinking, and I know Harry will love it.” Louis hands her back the mirror and pulls out his wallet. After paying and tipping generously, Louis moves off to find Harry with Michelle’s comments heavy on his mind. When he finds Harry still at the photo booth, he walks up behind him, stretches onto his tiptoes, and puts his chin on Harry’s shoulder.

“Oi! What’s taking so long buttercup? I figured you’d be back by now to see what I had painted. Harry? Earth to Harry. What’s got you all in a moment?” Harry turns so fast, Louis falls forwards a pace before he catches himself without faceplanting into Harry’s chest. Harry holds out a wallet-sized photo of the two of them.

“Look at us, Lou. We are happy here. Very happy, and these photos prove it.”

“We’ve been very happy here today. It goes to show the photo would capture the proof.” Louis takes it to look at it closer. “We do look extremely happy. This is kind of cool. Did we get any bigger ones? I thought we had a package with all sorts of sizes?”

“We did.” Harry hands over a bag and smiles. “They were so good I bought a second printing. It just got done. That’s what was taking so long. Sorry.”

“Oh. Cool, yeah, yeah. That’s cool. Ok, let’s take this stuff to the car and…”

“Louis.”

“What? What’s wrong?”

“Your face. You got a butterfly!”

“No, I didn’t.”

“Yes, you did. I see it!”

“You’re delusional, Harry. I got a black cat, in a pumpkin, with a moth. Much manlier than your pink butterfly.”

“It’s got wings and a fuzzy body. That, Louis, is a butterfly!”

“Moth.”

“Butterfly.”

“Moth.”

“Butterfly.”

“If I kiss you again will you call it a moth?” Louis smirks, sure he’s got the upper hand for once.

“You can kiss me and find out.” Harry smirks back, his right dimple popping so big that Louis is sure he’d be able to swim in that thing. Louis knows that Harry is sure he’s won this round, but Louis just can’t have that, he smirks at Harry and is rewarded when Harry’s eyes go crossed as Louis grabs him and kisses him again.

“Well?”

“Louis. I love your butterfly.”

“Ass.” Louis huffs and grabs the bags to head toward the car, leaving Harry howling with laughter at the photo booth.

“Come back, Louis! I’m kidding! Don’t be a grumpy caterpillar, Be a happy butterfly!” Harry’s howling laugh turns into a honking sound as Louis flips him off and keeps walking to the car. After stashing the pictures in the Rover and grabbing their jackets, Louis heads back to Harry. He hands over the spare jacket and puts his own on, then sniffs.

“Are you ready to eat? There’s something smelling really good that way. It smells like some type of barbeque, but I’m not sure. I bet we can find you some sort of salad or veggie concoction if we look hard enough.”

“I’m ok with barbeque. I live in Texas too, Louis. Let’s see if that smell is a brisket and let’s find out if they can beat the kind we get back home. I doubt it, but it does smell good. Keep your eyes open for something green too. Thanks.” Harry and Louis head toward the smells and Louis can’t help but smile as they walk, side-by-side.  
“What? What’s so funny? Louis!”

“Nothing.”

“Come on. You can tell me. I’ll uh, I’ll quit teasing you about your butterfly.”

“My what, Harold?”

“Your moth. Your very manly, moth.”

“That’s what I thought you said. Anyway, it was nothing serious, the girl who did it just thought you and I were a couple. She said we were funny, and it made her happy to see happy, funny people.”

“She thought we were a couple? Well we were, once. And after today, at least, we’re friends again. I hope.”

“Right. We are friends again, Harry. I’m thankful for that fact. Hey! Look at that tent! It looks like it says ‘vegetables.’ Right, I’ll get in this line and get some brisket and chicken. You look over there and see if that tent really has organic, fresh salads. Then I’ll see you back here?”

“Ok, friend.” Harry gives a genuinely happy smile—his beautiful, deep dimples popping on both cheeks—and walks off in search of his salad. Forty minutes later, Louis and Harry have cleared their plates and disposed of the trash.

“What’s next?” Louis rubs his full stomach before he stands and stretches. “Is it time for the pumpkin patch?”

Harry looks at his watch and nods. “Yep. We need to head to the barn to catch the wagon. Did I mention this was also a hayride?”

“No. But my grandpa did, so I’m good. Ready?” Louis holds out his hand and Harry takes it as they walk toward the big red barn in the center of the festival.

*****

Three acres of land lay out in front of them filled with rows and rows of pumpkins in all different shapes and sizes as far as Louis' eyes can see. Families are spread out among the rows and the distance chatter of children debating which pumpkins they're getting are heard. Louis stands still, taking a moment to look at the vast pumpkin patch, trying to imagine this place forty years ago. The story his grandfather told years ago about how he met his wife is fresh in Louis' mind. He remembers clearly his grandpa telling him that he and Louis' grandmother met at the pumpkin patch. She wanted the biggest pumpkin she could find, but she couldn't afford it. Louis' grandpa gave her every cent he had on him to get her the large pumpkin like she wanted.

He smiles at the memory of his grandfather's recollection of the day. To him, this place might as well be holy ground. Apparently, Harry must remember his grandpa sharing that story with them, because he too looks as if he's deep in thought, with his lips pursed together as he surveys the scene.

"What are you thinking about?" Louis chances and asks him. They've already kissed today, which was Louis' fault despite Harry's insistent lips kissing him back. There can't be anything else Louis could do or say that could be more out of line than that.

Harry's beautiful face turns towards him. "I was thinking about your grandparents. They met somewhere around here. In fact, we could be standing in the exact spot they met," Harry informs him.

Louis' arms break out in goosebumps even though he's wearing a coat. Harry does remember then. It's more endearing to Louis than it should be, but it makes him feel like Harry still cares. He knows how significant it is to Louis to be here.

"Maybe," Louis says with a slight lift of his shoulders.

"I want us to find the perfect pumpkin," Harry chimes out. To Louis' utter dismay, Harry reaches out and grabs his hand in his own as he starts walking down one of the long rows.

After a moment of shock, he decides to go with it, smiling to himself as they continue down the row in silence. When they're almost at the end, Harry gasps, making Louis jump.

"What was that for?"

"Look!" Harry exclaims as he bends down, moving the vines to reveal a small pumpkin, not much bigger than a softball. "It's so small and cute, isn't it Louis?"

The smile on his face has Louis nodding before he even processes what Harry said exactly.

"I've always been drawn to small and cute things." He breaks the vine and scoops up the pumpkin, smirking at Louis.

Louis rolls his eyes. "What are you trying to say?"

"Nothing. Nothing at all. Come on, pumpkin. Let's go."

Of course, Harry would start talking to the damn gourd. Harry takes a few steps forward, continuing on.

While Louis is scoping out the other side of the row, Harry stops and turns around, calling out to him. "Are you coming? I was talking to you, pumpkin."

Something akin to butterflies stirs in Louis' stomach and the man with the pink butterfly painted on his cheek is to blame. He starts walking forward until he reaches Harry and once again, Harry's long arm reaches out for his hand.

"Still haven't found one that's caught your eye?" Harry says

"We've been down one row. I'm not going to settle on one already. I need to check out all my options."

"You could use my strategy."

"Little and cute? No, thanks. I want a bigger one."

"Big like me?" Harry snorts, looking over at Louis who just stares at him.

"If I wanted one like you, I'd choose that one," he points to a paler pumpkin that's toppled over on its side from the misshaped bottom. "It barely has a bottom, like you. And it's so clumsy, it couldn't stay upright. Also like you," he grins triumphantly.

"Hey," Harry whines. "I do have a bottom!" Then, his eyes light up with amusement as he looks at Louis, and he starts laughing hard, so hard he drops Louis' hand, bringing his own up to his mouth to stifle his giggles. "I mean, I did have a bottom," he lets out between bursts of laughter.

When Louis realizes, his eyes get wide, then he shoves Harry's arm. "Fuck off, I am not a bottom."

"Not all the time, no. But I know what you liked."

Louis is starting to feel hot all over, and he's not so sure he means hot in a good way. Harry did know exactly what he liked. Hell, the ass was a divine lover, but he shouldn't be thinking about the times his ex-boyfriend used to pound his ass just the way he liked it. Not now, and probably not ever again.

He breaks from his dirty thoughts as Harry leans down, picking up the pumpkin Louis had just compared to Harry.

"What are you doing?" Louis asks with a snort. "That's really not the one I want."

"I know. But my little pumpkin will need a friend. What better one than this guy," he looks between both the gourds in his arms as he rises to his feet.

They explore the rest of the patch together, Louis still on the hunt for the perfect one and Harry shifting from small talk, to random facts about pumpkins like how "They are technically fruits," he says. "But because they are more savory than sweet, they're classified as a vegetable." and "Oh, Louis, did you know they're part of the Cucurbitaceae family?" and his humming mixed in between.

Louis has had the best time. On the last row, Louis finally chooses his pumpkin. "That one," he points at a decently sized, oval shaped pumpkin. He crouches down and works to snap it off the vine. It takes him a minute, but he finally scoops it up.

"You got it?" Harry checks on him. "I can carry that one and you can carry the smaller ones," he offers.

"Nope, I'm good. But let’s get them to the car. She is a heavy one."

They head back to the table where a booth is set up to pay for the pumpkins. Louis is winded by the time they get there, so he sits his pumpkin on the table, his hand starting to reach in his back pocket for his wallet.

A hand lands on his wrist, halting him. "Don't. Let me," Harry says.

"That'll be ten for the big one and three each for the smaller ones," the woman says, looking between Harry and Louis.

Harry pulls out a twenty from his own wallet and passes it to the woman "You can keep the change." He tucks his wallet back into his back pocket. "Add it to the money being donated."

It's not a large amount of money, but Louis feels himself fighting back a grin at Harry donating his change. People donate money daily, but Louis remembers that Harry quit his job to come on this trip with him. He doesn't know Harry's financial situation, but he does know that Harry is jobless and that he didn't have any money to reimburse Louis for his portion of the trip when he called about it a couple weeks ago, so it says a lot that Harry is still willing to give back.

Has it really only been two weeks since he made that phone call? Louis is surprised when he realizes he's only been around Harry for five days. It feels nice to be in his company again, to hear his voice and even his stupid jokes.

Harry sits the littler pumpkins in Louis' hand pulling Louis back to the present. He scoops up Louis' big pumpkin off of the table with much less struggle than Louis had, not that he'll admit it.

They start walking out of the pumpkin patch, weaving through the crowd of people that are still here as they make their way towards the parking lot. Louis plucks the keys from his pocket when he spots the Range Rover and he pops the trunk release so Harry can quickly get the pumpkin in and relieve himself of the weight. Louis sits his two small ones beside it and steps back, closing the back of the car up.

"It isn't the biggest pumpkin on the patch, but I had to buy you one," Harry says softly. He's got an unsure expression on his face and Louis doesn't know what to make of that.

"Thank you."

"Like your grandpa did for your grandma," he says even softer, nearly a whisper but Louis hears it. He's got a chill over him now and he doesn't think it’s the weather. He looks back at Harry and notices the taller man, take a few steps closer to him, closing the little bit of distance between them. Louis' back ends up against the back windshield of the rover.

"Yeah-yeah just like that," Louis manages to get out before he clears his throat. "Today was really perfect, Harry. It was everything I could have hoped it to be. Thank you for making today special for me. And for not pissing me off," he teases to lighten the mood.

Harry's still got his intense gaze locked on Louis, clearly not wanting to lighten anything stirring between them. "You deserved it to be perfect. I wanted that for you. For us." He puts his arms on either side of Louis on the car, caging him in. Louis' heart is racing ninety to nothing.

Soft, plush lips are on his in an instant, and Louis' doesn't get time to decide how to react. His body decides for him by pressing his lips back against Harry's as his hands grab Harry's soft hips. He lets out a sigh, and Harry takes advantage of his lips parting, slipping the heat of his tongue inside. Harry presses his body against Louis' as one of his hands find the back of Louis' head.

When he finally pulls back, Harry cradles Louis face in his big palms. "Louis-"

Louis shakes his head gently, opening his eyes. "Don't. Not yet," he says as he wraps his arms fully around Harry, hugging him tightly. The soft slide of Harry's palm against his back calms him. "For a moment, let’s just pretend this is who we are."

"This is who we are. I'm not pretending," Harry says into Louis' hair.

Neither is Louis. They still fit together effortlessly, just as they always have.

***** 

The ride back to the cabin starts in silence, but not an uncomfortable one. After the day they've had together, it feels easy being together now. Harry has his head turned, looking out the passenger side window as they make their way down the winding road towards their cabin. It's not Harry's fault that today has hopeful thoughts blossoming in his chest, despite not knowing what is going to happen after this trip ends.

He's daydreaming about blue eyes and relationships that don't go wrong, when he feels a soft hand land on his thigh. Looking over, he sees Louis cut his eyes from the road quickly to give him a little grin.

"Thank you again for a perfect day, Harry. It really means a lot to me. Going to a place that meant so," he pauses to clear his throat. "So much to my grandparents. I feel closer to them now."

"They're smiling down on you right now." He sits his hand on top of Louis' which is still resting on his leg. "They're probably up there holding hands, talking about what a wonderful grandson they have."

Louis sniffles and Harry squeezes his hand to try to comfort him. He can see the tears threatening to form, despite the little grin on his lips.

"You are wonderful, Louis. Wherever they are, they're thinking it, and I am too."

A blush tints both of Louis' cheeks. "Either that or they're thinking about how ridiculous we looked in those costumes earlier." He snorts as he pulls into the driveway.

"I don't care what you say. We looked cute," he responds with a laugh. His brows raise when he realizes what song is playing on the radio.

Louis sucks in a breath before his hand is snatched away from Harry's grasp. Louis immediately presses a button to change the station, and Harry can't help his curiosity.

"What is it about that song? Do you not like it?"

"It's fine," Louis says quickly with a wave of nonchalance, but Harry isn't buying it.

"Louis, you freaked out that last time you heard it."

"Because I wrote it," he admits quietly as he puts the car in park and looks down at his lap, one hand still gripping the steering wheel.

"What?" Harry is baffled. "You said earlier this week they hadn't given your songs to any artists."

"I didn't know. Until it came on when we were outside. It completely blindsided me."

"But this is a good thing. Lou, you should be proud of yourself. This was something you dreamed of," Harry says softly. "I'm proud of you."

"It's not a good thing. Not that song. I'm going to have to spend the next few months while it's on the radio loop avoiding it."

"I know I've only heard it once, but it was good. Really good. Embrace it. Don't hide inside yourself and avoid it." He's trying again to encourage Louis. He can't quite understand why Louis looks like he's seconds from crumbling when he’s reached one of his goals.

"I wrote it for you," Louis says, looking up at him. "It's about you. It's the first thing I wrote after you left."

Harry's lips part open, but nothing comes out. He's trying to find the words to comfort Louis, meanwhile his brain is trying to jump back to the first time he heard the song to decipher the lyrics he now knows are about him.

The silence must be too much for Louis, because next thing Harry knows, Louis is out of the car and making his way up to the door.

Following suit, he jumps out of the car, slamming the door behind him as he jogs to catch up. "Louis! Louis, wait!"

Louis turns around right as Harry reaches him. He doesn't look upset, so Harry takes that as a good sign. "I'm sorry. I was a little blindsided. I didn't know it was about me."

"Now you do. Look, I wrote it a while ago. It doesn't matter. Let's just, act like this conversation never happened." Louis sighs.

"That's the thing, though. It does matter. Your feelings do matter to me. If you're still hurting, or if there is anything, I can do for you, I will. I mean that." Harry reaches forward to take Louis' wrist in his hand. Louis' eyes glance down watching the movement, and his lip twitches as he gives the saddest grin Harry's ever seen.

"I know you would. You'd do anything for me except stay." 

That hits Harry right in the gut. He feels like all the wind was knocked out of his chest. It is clear Louis didn't say it with the intention of hurting Harry, but it did anyway.

"I'm okay, Harry," Louis nods his head once. "I'm getting by alright, but I think it will always hurt a little. You were the first and only love I've known."

"You were that for me too," Harry agrees, looking into those lovely yet sad blue eyes.

Louis looks back to the ground. Harry wants nothing more than to wrap Louis up in his arms and cradle him close. They were getting close to a place where Harry could have done that without second guessing himself, but now the uncertainty has reared its head once again.

"I didn't mean to ruin the mood," Louis starts.

"I asked. It's my fault."

"Can we at least try to pretend this didn't happen? At least for now? I wasn't ready for today to end. Not like this," Louis says solemnly.

"Sure. Let's end it on a high note," Harry agrees.

Although he's surprised when he feels Louis slip his hand in his, he does his best to keep his face passive, to not make a big deal out of it and just let it come naturally like they've been doing most of the day. It's not as effortless now that he saw the look of heartbreak in Louis' eyes once again, but this is what Louis wants and he really would do anything for Louis, or at least try.

They make their way inside and start thinking of what to do for dinner. That had helped ease the lingering sadness, thankfully and Louis had "helped" Harry make chicken fajitas. The helping had ended with Louis smearing a dollop of sour cream on Harry's nose and laughing like a madman as he ran off to escape.

The chicken was slightly overcooked from their antics, but Harry didn't mind. Louis was happy again, and that was worth it. Harry also went out and gathered their pumpkins from the car.

They decide after that to call it a night. Louis grabs him when they make it to the top of the stairs and thanks him again for the day.

And then he kisses him again.

It sends a rush through him just like the first time Louis shocked the hell out of him and did it. He honestly thought he'd never get the chance to taste Louis again, so he appreciates every opportunity.

"Goodnight, Harry."

"Goodnight, Louis," he responds, smiling as he heads inside his room. Once he's alone, he strips down to his briefs and slips under the covers. He brings his hand up to his lips, wishing he could still feel the pressure of Louis' against his.

After a few minutes, he sucks in a breath and reaches over, grabbing his phone. He wracks his brain, trying to remember the name of the artist who had sung that song. Louis' song. He probably shouldn't do this. Actually, he knows he shouldn't, but he can't help himself. Once he purchases the song on iTunes, he turns the volume down, not wanting to risk Louis possibly walking by and hearing what he's doing.

The song begins to play and Harry's hearing it with brand new ears.

It's when the chorus hits that Harry can't hold back the sting of the tears anymore, letting them quietly roll down his face. Fuck, he can just imagine Louis, huddling over the desk, his glasses perched on his nose as he scribbled, desperately trying to get this sadness out of him.

_"Cause the only love I've known as let me_   
_Down and I need lifting up._   
_Now you ain't here I'm sleeping rough._   
_And I pray that I can pray enough_   
_So waking up without you ain't so tough."_

Louis had just said that to him earlier. That he's the first and only love Louis has ever known. All he wants to do right now is lift Louis up. But is it even possible to cure an ache that he himself caused? It's something he has to at least try.

Getting out of bed, he grabs his sweats and slides them back on, then tosses his t-shirt over his head too. He leaves his room, heading for Louis' and when he gets there, he opens the door, quietly without knocking, grateful that it's been left unlocked.

He pauses at the doorway, listening for any signs that Louis is still awake. After a few seconds of silence, he quietly shuts the door behind him and makes his way to the bed. Since he's closer now, he can see Louis is sleeping, his lips parted, and those long lashes fanned out on his cheek. He looks so at ease and relaxed that it softens his heart, replacing the images of his sad boy desperately trying to relieve his aching heart.

_His boy._ He's not sure if he'll ever truly see Louis as anything but his.

He makes his way to the other side of the bed and as carefully as he can, crawls in beside Louis. He scoots closer, his arms reaching out to wrap around Louis' middle from behind. This could be a mistake. Louis could wake up and call him insane for sneaking in his room and grabbing him up like he has any right to do so.

"Harry?" Louis sleepy voice calls out. It makes Harry tighten his hold, snuggling up closer to Louis back.

"Go back to sleep, Lou," Harry whispers. He splays his fingers on Louis' stomach and feels Louis' right-hand fall on top of his, his fingers fitting into the spaces between Harry's.

"Okay," comes the soft response. Maybe Louis thinks he's dreaming.

Even if that's the case, he's here, so there's no chance of Louis' sleeping rough tonight. Tomorrow morning, Louis won't have to wake up without him.


	7. Friday

_Louis brushes his wild hair down, then adjusts the strap of his backpack as he climbs the stairs of their apartment building up to the third floor. He's thrilled his Principals of Advertising class was canceled this afternoon and even more thrilled that it's Friday._

_Saying he's tired would be putting it mildly. Louis is exhausted. Utterly worn out to the point that he feels it deep in his bones. Having the afternoon off is just what he needs, even though he plans to use the extra time to get a head start on his paper due Monday for Ethnomusicology. He hasn't even begun to research his topic on the origination and impact of reggae music from the 60s until now._

_On top of that, he also has a demo cd from a boyband, he can't remember the name of, in his backpack he needs to listen to and make notes on so his boss can decide if they're worthy of potentially being signed. Maybe he'll do that while he's neck deep in a hot bath._

_His boss has really grown to respect his opinion, and he's glad that he's trusted enough to make calls on whether certain artists move closer to being signed on with their agency._

_But with that, brings even more responsibility onto Louis' shoulders, which are already stacked as high as they can be. So much so, he feels if one more thing gets added, he's going to topple over._

_He unlocks the door and pushes his way inside, slipping his shoes off carelessly as he walks deeper into the living room. That's something for Harry to bitch at him about later, leaving his shoes discarded in the hallway. Louis doesn't understand why Harry bitches over every little thing Louis does lately. He'll pick up the shoes when he's ready, and right now, all he's ready for is to sit his ass down and try to unwind._

_Thoughts about what wine he should open flitter through his head as he makes his way to his bedroom to put his backpack away. Louis pushes the door open, and his eyes roam the room, confusion lacing his brows as he takes it in._

_Boxes are open and laying randomly around the room. There's two boxes on his bed along with a garbage sack, a few more boxes stacked up by the window, and one propped against the closet door, keeping it open. Louis lets his backpack slide from his arms as he steps into the room. He drops the backpack on the bed and peeks inside the box._

_Harry's razor, his shampoo and hair products are inside. All of his toiletries are all packed away and for some reason, Louis' mind can’t formulate any reason why they're in here._

_"What the fuck," he whispers to himself as he peeks inside the other box, seeing books and journals stacked to the top, all of which belong to Harry._

_Quickly, his arms reach over towards the bag, rifling through it. All of Harry's t-shirts, joggers, and underwear swirl around the bag as Louis digs through it. Digging for what, he doesn't know. Probably some answers as to what the fuck is happening right now._

_"No," he shakes his head, both fists clenching handfuls of Harry's clothes in his hands. "No," he says louder, repeating it over and over like a magic spell that could change all of this if he says it enough. "No, no, no. This isn't happening. He's not- He wouldn't leave me."_

_Suddenly, Louis hears the front door shut, causing him to jump. He tosses the handful of clothes onto the bed, then reaches back inside the bag, grabbing another armful and dumping them on the bed with the others. He's almost got the bag empty when Harry appears at the doorway._

_"Louis, I- What are you doing home right now?"_

_"What the hell is this, Harry?" He ignores the question, waving the t-shirts in each of his hands around. "What is this?"_

_"You, you weren't supposed to be here right now," Harry stutters._

_"Well I am, and I need to know what is going on. You're leaving?" his voice threatens to crack at the end. Louis hardens his expression, not wanting to break, not yet. "Were you going to pack your shit and leave while I was gone? Run out on me without a word? Did I not deserve more than that?" he chunks the t-shirts towards Harry, and hit him in the chest, as he catches one of them._

_"Lou, no. I wasn't going to run out on you," he says as he rounds the bed, closer to Louis. Louis backs away like a frightened animal, bumping into his nightstand. Harry frowns when he sees Louis stepping away, as if it's his heart breaking right now and not Louis. "I didn't think I would be able to go through with it. Packing up my things if you were here, and I know I need to."_

_"Why?" is the only word Louis can get out, eyes locked on Harry. "Why are you doing this?"_

_"You can't stand here and tell me that you're happy. If you can, you're lying. We aren't happy, and things with us seem to get worse every day. We need to end this while we still have some love for each other left. Before we end up hating each other."_

_"So, this is just it. You're breaking up with me. Just like that, without even trying to talk to me about it." Louis takes a seat on the edge of the bed, his other hand fisting another of Harry's balled up shirts, squeezing tight as if Harry can somehow feel the pain from it if he squeezes hard enough._

_"I've tried talking to you. For months. I don't know what else to do. I don't know how to get through to you," he says softly, cautiously moving closer to Louis. He shoves the pile of clothes back, slowly sinking down to the bed to sit next to Louis. _

_"Well try again! That's what you do. You keep trying until it's fixed. You don't give up, Harry, fuck," he says as he turns his head to look at Harry. The resignation is clear on Harry’s face, evident in his dull eyes and the tight line of his mouth._

_"I don't know how else to try. I think this is best. I don't want you to hate me, Louis. I don't want you to regret me, and if I stick around trying to force something to work that's just not, I fear that's what will happen._

_"I'm listening to you now. I hear you," Louis rasps out, quickly on the verge of losing his mind. Harry's really leaving. Nothing he's saying is changing his mind. "One more try. I would never hate you or regret us. One more try, please," he begs, letting his dignity fly out the window. "I'll cut back my hours at Buckley. I'll quit once I finish my required internship hours."_

_"It's a little too late for that now, Lou," Harry replies softly, like he's trying to comfort Louis when he's the one that's putting him through this._

_"You're breaking my heart," Louis says with tears in his eyes. They finally spill over. Unable to stop them, Louis puts his hands over his face as a cry leaves his mouth._

_"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Lou," Harry says, "Come here."_

_Before he knows it, Harry’s arms are around him, holding him to his chest as Louis lets out shoulder shaking sobs. For a moment, Louis clutches onto him right back, hanging onto him like a lifeline. He buries his face deeper into Harry’s warm chest, not having the will to look at his face again. He hears Harry’s heart beating steadily against his cheek, feels a hand rubbing soothingly over his arm. Louis soaks it all in. He soaks up all of Harry, hopefully enough to last him a while since he knows this will be the last time he will get to feel him._

_They stay like that for a little while, until Louis' gets himself under control. He pulls back, wrapping his arms around his waist like he's holding himself together. "I still don't understand. I don't. I don't know how we got to this point."_

_Harry stares at him, face unreadable. "I don't either. I don't know what else to say, except, I'm sorry. I hope you believe me." He rises to his feet and starts grabbing the clothes from the bed that Louis' unpacked, shoving them back into the garbage sack. "If I could go back and change it, I would, but we can only move forward."_

_He is moving forward, moving on, without Louis. As he packs the things on the bed, Louis notices, Harry never looks at him again, just keeps himself busy with his tasks. He hasn't shown an inkling of sadness or heartache, seemingly acquiescent about the situation._

_Louis can't take it any longer. He can't watch Harry pack up his life, taking everything but Louis with him. As he passes Harry on his way out of the room, Harry turns, grabbing a hold of his wrist. "Please know that I do love you. I love you, Louis. That isn't why I'm doing this."_

_He wants to cry again at Harry's words, but he must be all cried out. "Don't do that. You can't tell me you love me, while you're leaving me. It's not fair," Louis tugs his wrist from Harry's grip. "It's cruel."_

_"It's honest,” Harry says. “I will always love you."_

_"Stop it! Just get the fuck out of my apartment," Louis sneers as he makes a beeline for the bedroom door. Louis grabs the door handle and slams the door closed without another look back. He nearly runs for the bathroom in the hallway, locking himself inside as he puts his forehead against the door, the tears stinging at his eyes again. At least he was strong at the end. At least Harry didn't take that last shred of fight out of him._

I love you too. _He thinks those words as he hears Harry's footsteps outside of the door as he walks down the hallway. The greatest thing Louis ever had is walking out the door, and there's not a damn thing he can do about it._

*****

**Friday**

The white light of sunshine from outside is peeking through the space between the curtains, causing Louis to screw his eye shut even tighter. He groans when he can still sense the harsh light even behind his eyelids. Starting to roll over, he feels a familiar weight around his waist that has his eyes shooting open.

Harry's arm is draped over Louis' waist, securing Louis' back to his chest snuggly. Memories from last night move to the surface and Louis can recall dreaming of Harry coming in the room and snuggling up to him. It appears it wasn't just a dream.

Louis isn't sure what he should do now. Should he wake Harry up? Ask him why he's in here? Kiss him senseless?

Probably not that last one.

He can feel Harry's morning arousal against his ass with how snuggly they're cuddled together. Cringing, he carefully pushes his hips forward, trying to put some space between his bum and Harry's manhood without waking him up.

Harry inhales a deep breath in his nose and Louis knows he failed. He tenses for a moment, still not knowing how he should react to Harry being in his bed.

"Good morning," He eases into things.

"Morning," Harry rasps out, voice still thick with sleep. Louis always thought Harry’s voice first thing in the morning was sexy.

Apparently, that still stands true.

Louis rolls over to face him, stifling a yawn as he watches Harry move his arm off of him and rub his hand over his face before opening his eyes.

"What are you doing in here?" Louis asks as evenly as he can.

Either Harry is still half asleep, or he wasn't expecting to be questioned this early in the morning. “I, um, well,” he stutters.

"Nevermind," Louis decides. He doesn't need to know yet.

Harry nods, seeming to appreciate Louis letting it go as he rises from the bed. Lifting his hand up to act as a visor, he tries to shield his eyes from the sunlight as he pads over towards the window.

"I was thinking we could check out the sky lift today, if you think you can handle the height. We could stop somewhere along the way and get some breakfast," Louis states, still comfy on the side of the bed.

"I don't think we can do that," Harry says with an exasperated sigh.

"Why not?" Louis doesn't mean to sound defensive, but he wasn't expecting Harry to suddenly withdraw from him after sharing a bed together. "I don't care that you slept with me last night." He tosses his legs over the edge of the bed and gets up. "After yesterday at the festival, the uh, kissing and everything else, sharing a bed really is nothing. It doesn't have to be weird."

"Lou, calm down," Harry softly says as he turns his head, watching Louis walk towards him. "I didn't mean because of... anything between us. I meant I really don't think we're going to be able to do that. Look."

He pulls back the curtain and Louis sees why the light seemed more intense than usual when he first woke up. The ground is covered in a thick layer of snow. It has Louis gasping and moving closer to the window like when he was a child, hoping for the chance of a snow day so he could miss school. He was disappointed more often than not, growing up in Texas.

"It snowed!" He cheers.

"I can see that," Harry snorts with amusement. Louis feels Harry's arm snake around his middle, his chin coming to rest on Louis shoulder as he gazes out the window too. "Do you want to build a snowman?" he sings out. "Come on, let's go and play."

"Frozen? Seriously, Haz?"

"What? How often am I around snow enough to use that line? I had to!"

"Sure, you did. We can go out in it later if you want to. But I need my morning tea first."

"You're supposed to have hot cocoa when it snows. Not tea, Louis. Give me a minute and I'll make you some." With a kiss to Louis' cheek, he heads towards the bathroom.

"Cocoa later!" Louis calls out. "Tea first."

He hears Harry muttering something after closing the bathroom door and Louis stands there grinning stupidly to himself for a moment. Despite the fact that being snowed in was not part of today's plans, he can't help the excitement he feels being snowed in with Harry.

As he makes his way down to the kitchen, the irony of that isn't lost on him. At the beginning of this trip, he was dreading sharing the same space as Harry, and now, he thinks his space is a little less lonely with the other man back in it.

***** 

Louis looks around from the safety of the porch and surveys the damn-near foot and a half of soft, white snow that had fallen over the night. He sighs, and glances at Harry who is sitting on the swing on the porch, double-knotting his shoes.

“Really, Harry? Are you five?”

“No. Hush.” Harry sticks his tongue out for good measure, to prove he isn’t a child. And then with a grin he stands and moves to Louis. “Come on LouBear. We need to go.”

“Go where?” Louis raises a brow at Harry as they give each other similar smiles.

“Out there. We are going to play in the snow.”

“Oh, oh no. Not me! That is not going to happen. I’ve changed my mind. Look how deep it is! That is going to be so cold, I don’t want to get cold, and…and wet! How is that fun?”

“Like this.” Harry laughs as he plows out into the snow and falls backward to the ground, then starts moving his arms and legs to make a snow angel. “Come on Louis! Come join me! Mine can be the mom and your angel can be the baby!”

“Harry! I. Am. Not. That. Small!” Louis crosses his arms and glares at Harry, while Harry snickers back.

“Yes, Louis. You are. But I’ve always loved that about you. The way you fit in my arms.” Louis turns from Harry to hide his blush, then scoops a handful of snow off the railing, forms a little ball, and chucks it at Harry’s face.

“Hey! What was that for?”

“If you have to ask, Styles, then you deserve another one.” Louis bends down to make another snowball and Harry starts scrambling to get up and make his own. In his haste, Harry trips over his own feet and winds up face down in the snow. Louis cracks up laughing and runs forward to shove his handful of snow into the back of Harry’s shirt.

“UGH! Louis! Shit that’s cold!” Harry stands up and starts dancing around, holding his shirt open, trying to get the snow out. “You are so going to get it for that one, Louis!”

“You have to catch me first!” Louis throws another snowball and takes off running through the snow, stopping every few feet to toss another snowball over his shoulder at Harry.

“OUCH! Louis wait, my ankle!” Harry stops chasing Louis and pulls his foot up, then bends over, before going to his knees in the snow. His ankle is slightly elevated, his breathing is hard and jagged as Louis finally stops laughing and moves closer to him.

“Harry? Oh my, Harry. Hazza I’m so sorry! I thought you were just trying to make me think you were hurt. I had no idea you really were hurt! I’m coming! Hold on, I’m coming!” He rushes over to Harry and drops to his knees. “Harry, what can I do? Can you forgive me for thinking you were faking?”

“Depends.”

“On what?”

“On if you can forgive me?”

“For what, Harry?”

“For this.” Harry grabs Louis and shoves him, face first into the snow. Then he pushes more snow onto Louis’ back and jumps up, running away, and laughing his head off.

“Harry Edward Styles! I’m going to kill you!” Louis shrieks as he shakes himself off and gets up, chasing after Harry. Louis follows Harry’s laughter around the cabin to the back porch and Louis stops up short, realizing he is wide open, and Harry could be hiding anywhere to ambush him with snowballs. “Harry? Harry, where are you love? Come on out and play fair. That wasn’t a nice trick. I was actually worried about you. It’s one thing to just sneak attack a snowball fight, but you pulled a bad prank. That really scared me!”

Harry pops from around the side of a tree.

“Really? Louis I’m sorry. I wasn’t meaning to scare you. I was just trying to get you back. I’m sorry. Hey!”

Louis cracks up laughing as he smacks Harry in the face with a snowball. “Never believe anything when you are in the middle of a snowball fight. Never!” Harry roars with laughter and they take off, flinging snow at each other like children.

*****

The two are sitting on the porch, watching more snow fall softly when they hear a loud noise coming up the mountain.

“What do you think that is, Louis? I thought avalanches came from the top down…hey! Do you think the snow in our drive is falling?”

“No. That sounds like a car, not falling snow.” 

“How do you know? You’ve never seen an avalanche before.” Harry looks at Louis and Louis smiles at his, friend? His former friend? His…Harry?

“No. No I haven’t. But I feel like the sound is coming toward us, not away from us. I wonder if it’s a snowmobile? Those are supposed to be loud.” They stand up on the porch and see a mound of snow coming toward them, and then headlights, before the plow comes into effect. “A plow. I knew it wasn’t an avalanche.”

“Shut up, Louis. I mean it! I didn’t know.”

“It’s ok. Chill out. I’m done making fun. For the moment anyway.”

The plow comes to a stop and the driver gets out. “Hello. I am just coming to check in. The phones are going to be down till the morning at the earliest. Anything you need? I have some supplies from the office; candles, bottled water, beans, crackers—those sorts of supplies. We like to make sure you all have whatever you may need.”

“Thanks. We went to the grocery store already, so I think we’re good. Though a few candles might not be a bad idea. We didn’t think about that, we had been at Ole Smoky and were just a little tipsy by the time we hit the grocery store.” Louis talks to the driver, walking over to get the candles from him.

“Well, in a pinch that moonshine will light you up. Inside and outside. Seriously, put some on a rag and light it in the fireplace if you need help starting a fire. Do you? Need help starting a fire?”

“No. Thank you, that’s one thing we figured out on our own. Hey, I don’t suppose you could let my boy---um, my friend Harry drive this thing, could you? Just for like a minute? Show him how it works…let him move a little snow? For like a minute. Just a minute! It would make his year.”

“I’m not supposed to let anyone drive the truck. Is he a good driver?”

“Lord no. But he’d be so happy.” 

The driver chuckles and nods. “Just don’t tell my boss.”

“Deal. Hey, Harry! You wanna drive a snowplow?” Harry lifts his head and they can both see his smile from across the drive.

“Really? I can drive this thing?” He’s already off the porch and walking toward the two other men and the driver nods.

“Just for a minute or two, but you can help me clear out some of this snow here. You do have a circular drive, we could finish it. If you want to.” 

Harry hands his phone to Louis. “Will you take my picture?”

“Sure will. Go on, I know you want to try this.” Louis gives Harry a pat on the back and starts taking pictures immediately when Harry gets seated on the plow. Harry listens intently as the driver tells him how to start the truck and how to put it in reverse, then after Louis is safely back on the porch, Harry lowers the plow and starts a slow, jerky circle of the driveway. He does the drive twice, before he stops the truck and opens the door.

“Hold still, Harry!” Louis calls out and he gets a final shot of Harry emerging from the plow.

“Hey thanks, man! Thanks, that was incredible. Really! I’m so excited. That was awesome!” Harry shakes the driver’s hand and runs to Louis, wrapping him in a big hug and kissing him on the cheek.

“Ew, yuck! What was that for?” Louis makes a dramatic show of wiping his face, even as his cheeks turn pink.

“Mark told me that it was your idea to let me drive that plow. I can’t tell you how fun that was! I wish you could have tried it too.” Harry hugs Louis again, before demanding his phone so he can look at the photos.

“I didn’t know he was going to tell you. I just, I thought you’d like it. I wasn’t like, trying to make your day.”

“Well you did. So, thank you! Now…what do we do now?”

“Do you wanna build a snowman?” Louis can’t keep a straight face as he asks that ridiculous question again.

“We used to be best buddies, and now we’re…kinda. I wish you would tell me, whyyyyyy!” Harry sings at the top of his lungs. “I would love to. Let’s go, Louis. And you can decide how big he is. So I don’t make you feel small.”

“Ass. Hahaha, I’m short. I get it. Thanks for reminding me.” Louis smirks, and Harry blushes.

“I didn’t mean it like that.” Harry face palms himself and grimaces. “I just meant I want you to be able to reach the top. Shit! No! That wasn’t any better.”

Louis can’t help himself, he laughs. And then he reaches up and places a soft kiss on Harry’s cheek

“I know Hazza. Don’t worry about it. Ok? We’re good, I promise. Let’s build a snowman.” Louis moves around to the side of the house and when Harry meets him, he starts laughing. 

“Ok, why? We’re building a snowman, why are you on your phone?”

“I haven’t ever built one before. I can’t even say for sure if I have ever seen a real snowman. I’m YouTubing how to do this.” Louis keeps his eyes at his screen even as Harry falls to his knees laughing at him. After he is sure that he knows what to do, Louis looks at Harry. “I think I have this. Oh come on!”

“Louis. It’s literally rolling a snowball until it gets big. I started this one, why don’t you do the next and we’ll meet in the front and put him together out where everyone can see him.”

“Harry. We’re alone on top of a mountain. No one will see him but us.”

“Then he better be perfect, Tommo. I have no desire to look out my window and see a shitty snowman.” Harry claps his hands. “Chop, chop.”

“Don’t you mean ice drop?” Louis smirks at his joke and Harry flings a handful of snow at him. “What was that for?”

“Crappy joke. That was a real, snow bomb.” Harry grins and takes off, pushing his part of the snowman around to the front of the house.

An hour and twenty minutes later, the two stand back and survey their snowman. The mighty man has tree branch arms, small rocks from up near the porch for the eyes and mouth, Louis’ brand-new Adidas scarf and Harry’s favorite pair of aviator sunglasses pushed up in place of a hat.

“I can’t believe you made me give up that scarf. It’s brand-new. And red, you know I love red.”

“I’ll replace it, Louis. I just felt he needed a nice scarf. Frosty 2.0 is definitely a sportsman. No way he’d ever get caught wearing Nike.” 

Louis smirks and wraps an arm around Harry before he pulls him backward into the snow.

“Show me how to make those snow angels, Harry?”

*****

Later, after they’ve taken off their damp clothes and changed into loungewear, they're sitting and watching rerun episodes of Friends since miraculously, the snow didn’t cause them to lose power.

Suddenly, Harry stands up, heading towards the stairs.

"Be right back," he says vaguely.

While he's gone doing whatever it is, he's doing, Louis carries their plates to the kitchen, loading them up into the dishwasher, as well as the skillets Harry used when he was cooking their lunch.

"Louis Tomlinson cleaning? I am amazed!"

Louis jumps and turns his head towards Harry who's walking in with his hands behind his back.

"Yeah, well, you cooked so it was the least I could do. I've used up my kindness quota today, so don't expect anything else," Louis replies playfully.

"Don't say that. I quite like nice Louis. I'd like him to stick around today. Although, angry Louis is kinda sexy, I must admit."

Louis quirks a brow his eyes, traveling up and down Harry's body in mock judgment. "Is that so?" He sees Harry sinks his teeth into his bottom lip as he nods his head, eyeing Louis just as hard. Louis smirks. "Then why don't you tell me what the hell you were doing in my bed this morning. I don't think you were invited. What makes you think you have been noble and virtuous enough to earn that position as my bed sharer?"

Something flashes over Harry's face. For a brief moment, he looks dejected, like someone stepped on his dandelion before he got the chance to make a wish. Then, he smiles and something else flickers over his face.

"Pretty big words you're using there. You should probably save them."

"Save them for what?"

Harry moves his arms from behind his back, wielding a small box in his hands like a prize.

"For Scrabble!" Harry cheers with a bright smile. "Tell me this isn't perfect. What else is better than playing scrabble on a snow day?"

"Harry, what the fuck," Louis can't help but laugh loudly. "You actually brought Scrabble? If things had stayed the same and we still hated each other, who were you expecting to play this with?"

"It's never a bad idea to bring Scrabble with you, Louis." Harry mockingly scolds him. "And look, this is the travel version. It folds up nice and small. I couldn't not bring it on my travels. Its travel Scrabble."

The smile on Harry's face has Louis' heart fluttering inside his chest in a way it shouldn't be. The lines between them feel so blurred, to the point he's not sure they exist at all anymore. Instead, they're both floating like balloons without strings, being brought closer and closer together by the breeze of the wind.

The only problem with that? Balloons always pop. It's inevitable, but he's enjoying the levitation too much.

"Go set it up."

He swears Harry's smile just raised him a hundred feet off the ground.

*****

"Vampy? I don't think that's acceptable."

"Of course, it is," Harry boasts. "On a double word score too. Thirty points." He grabs the notebook and starts scribbling down his score and Louis rolls his eyes.

"What does Vampy even mean?"

"Like risqué. Or seductive," Harry wiggles his brows as he looks at Louis like he might want to take a bite out of him.

"I'm surprised you got that word," Louis smirks. "Considering you don't know anything about that."

"Louis Tomlinson! You of all people know just how seductive I can be."

As Harry bites his lip, he leans back in his place on the floor, his arms holding himself up and he crosses those endless legs of his. Louis has to swallow the bubble of desire he feels seeing Harry stretched out in front of him. If he were being honest, no one could hold a flame to Harry when it comes to the art of seduction. He almost wants to smart off and tell Harry to prove it, but he's afraid he wouldn't be able to restrain himself.

"I don't recall many seductive moments. You tripping over your own feet trying to get your skinny jeans off? Yes. Oh, and you trying to carry me into our bedroom and whacking my head against the door frame. Very tantalizing."

Harry's full lips part as he looks at Louis. "That was one time. And if I recall correctly, you still let me fuck you so you must have been pretty tantalized."

He smiles innocently as if he didn't just mention an occasion where he made Louis completely come apart.

Louis can't believe they're actually talking about this. He also can't believe he feels his dick twitch in his sweat pants. He scoots forward and looks back to his letters, choosing not to comment.

A word hits him and his eyes light up with mirth as he lays his letters out, placing them off of the "Y" on Harry's word.

"Lacy. Nine points plus the double word score. Give me my eighteen points."

Harry groans and scribbles on the score pad. Louis leans over and sees he's still thirty points behind Harry. Damn him. He can probably count on one hand how many times he's actually beaten Harry at this game over the years. This doesn't look like it's going to be one of those times.

"Lacy, huh? What made you think of that?" Harry questions with a smirk.

"Uh, the tiles?" Louis responds in confusion.

"I thought maybe you were thinking of another time I was being vampy." Harry's pupils dilate with what Louis would assume is lust, if he didn’t know Harry and they weren't two exes who shouldn't be discussing these things. "Remember the lace, Lou?"

His mouth feels dry having Harry look at him this way.

Before he gets the chance to respond, Harry starts in again. "You came home from work and I was laid out in our bed in those black lace panties. You liked those didn't you?"

"I-I don't-" Louis stutters as Harry gets to his feet, moving to the other side of the coffee table to sit down beside him on the couch. Louis wants to tell him he shouldn't, that this isn't a good idea. Not with the way they're looking at each other now.

"You thought they were sexy. You were so eager, you ripped them off of me."

"I was eager to get to that big thing you had shoved inside the front of them," Louis says, his voice raspy.

"Say it," Harry softly requests.

"Say what?"

"That you thought they were sexy."

"I thought you looked sexy as hell in them," Louis admits quietly.

Before he can say anything else, Harry's mouth is on his. He's not sure if he falls backwards on the couch on his own or if Harry is urging him down, but either way, Harry's body is now on his as he kisses Louis fiercely. Louis slides one hand to Harry's back and buries the other one into Harry's hair, gently tugging at the curls and the younger man lets out a deep moan against Louis' lips. As Harry grinds his hips forward against his own, he can feel Harry's erection through the loose fleece sweats they're both wearing.

"Fuck, Harry," he pants out as Harry pulls back a little, sliding his hands underneath Louis' shirt.

"Shhh, let me take care of you. I missed touching you like this," Harry dips his head down, pressing open mouth kisses on his stomach.

Louis knows he should stop this, but he's missed it too. He's missed the way Harry's hands could play his body even better than they could play a guitar. He’s missed the comfort and the closeness of giving himself over to Harry like this.

Still, he wants to make sure it isn't a mistake. That Harry won't regret whatever he's about to do when they finish. He's not completely sure if he's going to be able to handle it himself, but Harry's teeth nipping at his hipbone feels so good, he's willing to risk it all.

"Harry, are you sure we should do this?"

"No, but I'm not going to stop unless you tell me to." He lifts his head, his chin resting on Louis' lower stomach as his lusty green eyes wait for permission.

Louis nods, a bit too eagerly if he's honest. "Okay, yes, fuck. Just hurry."

He hears Harry chuckle as he works Louis' sweats down enough to free his dick. Harry doesn't waste any time, wrapping his lips around the head of Louis' length. His breath comes out in desperate pants as his hips buck up off the couch, chasing the sweet heat of Harry's mouth.

"What about Scrabble?" Louis breaths out.

"You win. I don't care," Harry's mouth sinks back down, taking Louis as far as he can, bobbing his head.

"Yes, baby, just like that," Louis incoherently praises Harry. He knows he isn't going to last long. Harry was the last person he done anything with and that was a year ago. Harry's hands slip to grab onto his hipbones, pulling Louis forward to make him go deeper, then pushing them back.

Louis' spine tingles as he realizes that Harry wants him to fuck his mouth. Burying one hand in Harry's curls, he thrusts himself in and out of Harry's full lips, panting as he chases his release. He looks down watching his dick slide in and out. That alone is enough to have him nearly tipping over, but when Harry looks him right in the eyes, hollowing out his cheeks, he can't hold back anymore. He shoots off into Harry's mouth for what feels like ages. Harry swallows up every last drop before finally letting Louis' now soft dick slip from his mouth. Gently, Harry tucks him back into his sweats while he tries to catch his breath.

"Harry damn it, that's- that was-" Louis shakes his head back and forth, blinking his eyes to try to get rid of the stars he's seeing.

"I'll take that as a compliment."

"Good. It was." Louis sits up, his hands reaching for the waistband of Harry's pants, but Harry grabs his wrist to stop him.

"I'm okay. I wanted to take care of you."

"You don't want me to return the favor?" Louis brows draw in. He can't help but feel a slight pang of hurt, feeling a bit rejected. Which is stupid since Harry just sucked him off.

"Later, maybe? This was for you. I don't need anything in return." Thankfully, Harry eases his hurt when he sits his hand on Louis' jaw, leaning in to softly press his lips against Louis'. Then he rests his forehead against Louis' letting his eyes close as he inhales deeply through his nose. It seems something is on his mind and of course, Louis wants to know what he's thinking about so badly. He brings his hand up and grabs onto Harry's wrist. Harry's eyes open and he gives Louis a grin, then another peck on the lips, before he pulls away and turns to the coffee table.

"Let's finish Scrabble now."

"What?" Louis can't believe he wants to play after what they just did. "No way. You already said I won."

"I couldn't properly answer then. I had your dick in my mouth."

"You still said it."

"I take it back. Come on, please Louis? That can be you returning the favor."

"Fine," Louis grumbles as he sits back up, watching as Harry lays his letters down, moving towards the "L" on Louis' "Lacy".

After Harry lays the letters down, he doesn't say anything as he grabs the score sheet to write down his points.

Louis stares at the word, wondering if it's just coincidental.

_Lucky._

*****

Harry puts a few logs on the fireplace and lights it up, leaving Louis curled up with a blanket over his shoulders sitting in front of it, soaking up the warmth while Harry goes to make them hot coco. The curtains and blinds are drawn up, giving Louis a view of the snow blanked ground, along with their snowman

“One hot chocolate with marshmallows for you,” Harry catches his attention as he kneels down on the rug in front of the fireplace with two steaming mugs in his hands.

“Thanks,” Louis says, taking one of the mugs. It’s black and says, “Have a nice day!” in white lettering on the side. He snorts noticing that Harry’s mug is white covered with tiny doodles of cats in different poses on it.

Louis lifts his cup up for a sip and he hears Harry let out a laugh. Looking over at Harry, he lowers the mug. “What?”

“Take another drink. I’ll show you.” Harry pulls his phone out of his pocket holding it up to Louis to take a picture. Shrugging, Louis just goes along with it. He lifts the cup to take another sip. Harry turns his phone, showing Louis the photo.

On the bottom of his cup, there’s a hand flipping the middle finger. He snorts. “Of course, you’d give me this cup.”

“I didn’t know that was on the bottom, honest. There are loads of odd mugs in there.”

Louis smirks and takes another sip of his hot chocolate, this time throwing up his own middle finger at Harry who scrambles with his phone to snap another picture of Louis.

“Is that an invitation?” Harry boldly asks. Louis nearly chokes on his hot chocolate as he looks up at Harry in thought.

“Would you accept if it was?”

Stretching an arm out, Harry scoots over and wraps it around Louis, shoulders’ pulling him closer into his side.

“Are you not going to answer?” Louis asks, eyes glued on the fire as it crackles.

“I might,” Harry says before taking a sip from his own cup. Louis isn’t sure what to make of that answer.

“Why not? Nothing stopped you earlier.”

“Because I don’t want to hurt you,” Harry says softly. Louis feels grateful he’s cuddled into Harry right now and not forced to look at his face.

Cupping his mug in both his hands, he heaves out a little sigh. “I never expected that you would hurt me the first time.”

“Louis,” Harry warns, his grip on Louis’ shoulder tightening marginally.

“I’m not picking a fight,” he says—and he means it. He just wants to get some things off his chest. “I feel like I never got much closure. I never saw it coming.

“I didn’t either,” Harry says softly to his surprise. “It wasn’t like it was premeditated. I never had any intention of ever hurting you.”

Louis tilts his face up, risking a glance at Harry who surprises him again when his lips place a soft kiss on Louis’ forehead, right at his hairline. The slight lump in Louis’ throat makes him look back at the fire. Yeah, there’s no way he can do this looking at Harry. His heart or what’s left of it would give out. Just that one look at Harry, he thinks he could see the pain hidden in his ex-lover’s gaze, too.

“Why didn’t we work it out? We always worked things out. Little fights or disagreements. What made the last time different?” Louis bravely voices.

“You were hardly speaking to me at that point. I tried to talk to you. Maybe not as hard as I should have, but I didn’t know what else to do, Louis. I was at the end of my rope. We might as well have been strangers.”

“Like we are now,” Louis breathes out.

Harry’s arm slips down to his waist, his fingers gently wrapping around Louis’ wrist.

“You’ll never be a stranger. Even all this time we went without speaking, you always knew me better than anyone else.” His fingers traces shapes on Louis’ inner wrist. “I’m not sure where we went wrong. Maybe we both got a little lost.”

Maybe its Harry gentle touches, or the warmth of the flames bringing a safeness to Louis he hasn’t felt in a while that gives him the courage to finally let some of the truth he wouldn’t dare to speak before, slip from his lips.

“It hurt. It still hurts. Losing someone you never expected to lose was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. Everything was so fucking hard, Harry. Getting out of bed, trying to function like a normal person was damn near impossible.” He sucks in a breath. “I didn’t really talk to anyone about how I was feeling, because it didn’t feel like anyone truly understood what I was going through.”

“I understood. I felt it, too.”

“How?” Louis questions him, getting slightly defensive. “You don’t get it. You will never understand the hurt I went through. I didn’t leave. You did. I lost you. You left by choice.”

The protective arm around him drops, leaving Louis feeling naked. When he turns, Harry puts his cup down on the floor, then rakes a hand through his curls. He looks at Louis and shakes his head. “You really think that? You didn’t think it killed me walking out that day? It hurt me, too, Louis. It took everything in me to actually leave. There were so many times that day I almost selfishly talked myself out of leaving. I almost told myself that just sharing the same space with you, no matter how indifferent you were would be enough. And it might have been for me, but it wouldn’t have been enough for you. You deserved better. You deserved someone you could stand to be around.”

Unsure of what to say, Louis looks at his lap. He’s gripping his mug so tight, he’s afraid it might shatter. Sitting the mug down, he bends his knees up, resting his elbows on them. “I loved you, Harry. Maybe I lost myself for a while there, but I was always sure of that.” He doesn’t know why he’s telling Harry this now. It doesn’t matter now. It’s too late for his words to change what happened, but he’s hoping that finally putting everything out there, that his heart won’t be near as heavy when this trip ends, and he’s thrown back into his post Harry life.

“Can I show you something?” Harry asks, catching him off guard. “Stay right here.” Harry gets up, heading upstairs. Louis lets a whoosh of air out. He grabs the blanket, wrapping it tighter around himself like a cloak of armor to shield him from whatever unexpected thing Harry is about to throw at him.

Harry comes down with a guitar. Louis doesn’t remember seeing a guitar bag in Harry’s luggage when they first arrived, but he was also doing everything in his power to avoid even looking at Harry, so it’s possible he could have just overlooked it.

Taking a seat back in his spot, Harry starts strumming his guitar a little bit, tuning it a little.

“You’re going to play your guitar? Right when we’re in the middle of what I thought was an important conversation.” Louis shakes his head in dismay at the nerve.

“This is important. I don’t think you’re truly hearing me. And like me, I know you speak lyrics. Listen to me.” Harry looks down at his guitar as he strums out a melody Louis has never heard. Goosebumps break out on his arms at the melody alone. Then, Harry starts singing.

_“If I say it loud, would it make it real?_  
_And if I go now, would you feel anything?”_

Louis’ chest feels tight, tears prickling at his eyes as Harry sings on.

_“Do you think of me?_  
_And how I fell in deep when you touched my skin._  
_How easily my hands left you shivering._  
_Didn’t catch our breath before we jumped right in._  
_Now I don’t know if we can make it out._  
_Breaking everything with a single touch._  
_I don’t even know how to make us stop._  
_This might be the part where you lose me._  
_But I’m about to, oh I’m about to lose you too. “_

__

He can’t fight it anymore. Louis swipes at his eyes, trying to brush the tears away even though Harry isn’t looking at him. Harry’s continuing to rip his heart right out. He continues on before finally singing out the last line.

_“If we leave it here, are we letting go?” _

His fingers stop playing and when he looks up, Louis can see the glossiness in his eyes, how affected he is by the words he was singing to Louis.

“You...you wrote that?” are the first words Louis is able to get out.

Harry nods and sits the guitar aside. “About you. About us. Do you get it now? It hurt me too. You didn’t just lose me. I lost you too. I didn’t want to leave you. I never wanted to leave, but I thought I was doing the best thing for you because we weren’t happy, and I didn’t know how to make you happy anymore. “

Something in Louis cracks again as he drops the blanket, climbing straight across and into Harry’s lap. His hand cups Harry’s jaw and his mouth dives right onto Harry’s, kissing him like it’s the last chance he’ll ever get, and it very well could be. He still doesn’t know what happens once their vacation is over. Hell, he’s still not entirely sure what will happen when their lips finally break apart, but Harry’s kissing him back like he doesn’t want it to end and neither does Louis. He slips his hand to the nape of Harry’s neck, gently sinking his fingertips into the hairs there the way he knows Harry likes. Vibrations from Harry’s hum of approval tickle his lips, but he still doesn’t let him go.

He drinks Harry in like he’s fine wine. They kiss until they’re completely out of breath, lips parted as they pant, staring into each other’s eyes.

“It really hurt you to lose me? I thought, I always thought you wanted to leave. That you were happier without me.”

“I don’t know if that’s possible baby. I’ll probably spend my whole life trying to get over you.” Harry slides his hands up Louis’ back, causing Louis' to break out in goosebumps. It feels so familiar, being here in Harry's arms, being completely wrapped up in Harry.

"I don't think that's true," he weakly lets out.

"I do. I'm still not over you," Harry confesses.

It’s what Louis wants to hear, at least he thinks it is, but he's still not sure what it means for them. The song and that admission, Louis' feels slightly overwhelmed by it all.

"I'm," he starts, fully intending on telling Harry that he's not over him either, but something makes the words seem impossible to get out of his mouth. He's tried for so long to put a wall up, to move on without Harry. He feels once he admits that, the little bit of progress he's made will be gone, and it'll only end up hurting him more in the end. "Gonna take a shower," he finishes, like the coward he is. 

Harry gives him a thoughtful look and gives his sides a gentle squeeze before moving them so Louis can stand up.

"I'll get started on dinner. Anything in particular you want?"

You. You. You. His mind taunts him.

"Soup?"

"You've got it."

No, he really doesn't at all.

*****

Louis had gulped down two bowls of Harry's homemade vegetable soup. He forgot how good of a cook Harry actually was. With a full and warm belly, he and Harry are now side-by-side on the couch sharing a blanket. The fire has almost burned out, but there's a few embers still glowing in the fireplace. Louis folds his legs underneath him, causing his feet to brush against Harry's thigh.

While he was showering, Louis had replayed the conversation with Harry over again. Everything he thought he'd known about the end of their relationship had been wrong. Harry hadn't wanted to leave him. Harry was hurt by it too and isn't over Louis now. He's still not sure what to do with that information, but he's not going to pretend like it didn't change something between them, like the words didn't automatically feel like the string tying him and Harry together didn't just tighten, bringing them closer.

"Tired?" Harry interrupts his thoughts, his hand grabbing Louis' delicate ankle as he rubs his thumb over the bone.

"A little. I don't know why. We haven't had a very productive day."

Giving him that adorable little dimpled grin that Louis still thinks is the purest thing on this earth, Harry says, "We built a snowman, had a snowball fight, made snow angels. I even built a fire. Sounds productive to me."

"Not to me. But maybe a lazy day is just what we needed," Louis lets out before a yawn overtakes him. He covers his mouth to stifle it then turns his head to Harry. The beautiful, beautiful man. Louis decides then that he's going to take every bit of Harry that Harry is willing to offer. To hell with what happens next and to hell with wondering about the state of his heart afterwards. It's survived thus far, after believing that he wouldn't get over Harry's departure, and again when he thought the poor muscle surely couldn't withstand going on vacation with the man. He knows now that his feelings aren't unrequited.

"What are you thinking about?" Harry questions.

Now is Louis' chance to bring forth some of his own truth so he does. "About how I want you to come to bed with me."

Harry blinks, clearly not expecting that. A slight blush tinges his cheeks.

Louis speaks up again. "To cuddle and to just, be together. I want to hold you," he says, watching Harry closely. "We can be together and not be together, right? Like last night."

Harry nods his head, and he clears his throat. "Yeah, like last night. I'd like that." He rises to his feet, holding out his hand towards Louis, who takes it, letting Harry pull him to his feet. "Let me put the fire out, and I'm right behind you."

While Harry is putting the fire out, Louis walks around the cabin, cutting off the lights. Finally, they head upstairs, Louis taking the lead. They walk into the master bedroom that Louis claimed as his and Harry moves to his side of the bed. Louis notices but doesn't say a word about the fact that they're both standing near the same sides of the bed that they used to claim before.

Harry chucks his shirt off, grabbing at the waistband of the sweatpants he has on. "This okay?" he asks waiting.

"Yeah, but you might get cold if you strip down to your knickers," Louis teases, which gets Harry grinning before chucking the pants off and crawling into bed.

"You're the one who gets cold if the thermostat isn't set on hell," Harry teases back as he fluffs the pillows then leans his back against the dark wooden headboard. "And I will have you to keep me warm," he adds on, making Louis' give his signature fond look.

Harry smiles back at him, with an even sappier look than his own, if you ask Louis, until Harry's eyes focus on something behind him. "What's that?" Harry points behind Louis. Louis turns and sees his suitcase opened up in the chair in the corner of the room. He is about to ask Harry what the hell he's on about when he notices it. The lilac jumper that used to be Harry's is laid right on top of the open suitcase. Harry must know exactly what it is when all he gets in response is Louis' silence. "I can't believe you kept it."

"I, well, it's comfortable," he starts, rubbing a hand over his face. He's embarrassed. His ex is in his bed half naked, and he's embarrassed about a sweater.

"Come here," Harry opens his arm up, soft smile on his face. Obviously, Louis can't resist him, so he climbs into bed, scooting up into Harry's side.

"I told you I wanted to hold you," Louis mumbles into Harry's neck.

"You are. We're holding each other." Harry presses a kiss to the top of his head, before scooting down to lie back. Laying his head on Harry's chest, Louis let's his arm wrap around Harry's waist. 

"I left it there."

"What?" Louis asks, lifting his head up enough to look at Harry.

"My sweater. I left it there on purpose. When I was packing and came across it, I couldn't see anything but you in it. I didn't want that reminder. And I thought maybe you'd enjoy it more. You did wear it more than me anyway."

Still a little surprised, Louis responds. "I wore it a lot. When I was sad or having a bad day. I thought at the time I was just a masochist, but I think it did help. It was like you were still there, holding me together."

Harry stays quite for a few minutes. Louis thinks he must have fallen asleep, but then he says quietly into the darkness, "What about tomorrow? You're not going to regret this are you?"

"Of course not. We can figure out tomorrow, tomorrow. Doesn't matter right now. Only this does." He places a soft kiss onto Harry's chest and let's his eyes drift closed. "Goodnight, Harry."

"Goodnight, baby."

Louis feels himself instantly relax in the haven of Harry's hold. Out of habit, he almost adds on an 'I love you,' but thankfully he doesn't.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did not write the lyrics for the song Harry sings in this chapter. The song Harry "wrote" is actually a song called "Lose you too" by SHY Martin. I might have rearranged some of the lyrics around to effectively reflect what I wanted Harry to say. Give it a listen if you want!


	8. Saturday

_“Harry, It’s just rain.” Louis unlocks the doors and pushes his open, bringing a chill wind with the rain._

_ “Louis! It’s freezing! And that’s a deluge”_

_“It is not. Now come on. We have a movie to watch and I swear if my fries get cold, I’m eating yours.” Harry huffs at Louis, but he does grab his stuff and opens the door._

_ As soon as they stand upright, the rain downpours, soaking them instantly. Harry cusses and takes off after Louis, running through the rain to the dorm door. Once inside, Louis heads straight down the hall to his room, the food bag wafting it’s smell towards Harry._

_ “Don’t touch my food, Tommo!” Harry follows and as they get to Louis’ door, Harry snatches the bag and holds it over his head._

_ “Oi! Half of that is mine!”_

_ “And you can have it when I have a towel. I told you we should have waited.”_

_ “Yeah, well, we didn’t.” Louis gets his door open and goes straight for the towels, tossing one into Harry’s face. "My food, peasant.”_

_"Here, your royal pain in my ass," Harry muffles out after he removes the towel. He holds the bag out to Louis, who happily snatches it up. Harry starts trying to dry himself off but his eyes get caught on Louis, who's already removed his shirt and is sliding the jeans down his curvy thighs, leaving him in nothing but a pair of navy briefs._

_At this point, Harry is sure he must be salivating, watching the muscles in Louis' tanned thighs flex as he bends over to pick up his jeans, only to toss them to the floor on the other side of the room._

_When Louis turns to look at him, Harry quickly looks down at his soaked shirt as he uses the towel to squeeze the excess water from his unruly curls. Glancing back up, he sees Louis smirk at him before climbing up into his unmade bed. "See something you like?"_

_Harry definitely has to be drooling. Trying to play it cool, Harry just glances up and down Louis' body then shrugs before moving towards Louis' dirty clothes basket that is empty but has a large pile of clothes on the floor beside it. "Why do you do this?" he snorts, shaking his head. "How does Scotty put up with having you as a roommate?"_

_"Excuse you, I'm a gem," Louis says, putting his hand under his chin as he smiles and tilts his head. "See how cute? That's why Scotty puts up with me. Now, Take off all your clothes."_

_"What?" Harry barks out in surprise, causing Louis to laugh._

_"Strip. I don't want you getting my bed wet. If you do, I'll have to wash my sheets and I planned on letting them go another week._

_Harry rolls his eyes even though he's grinning in amusement. He starts with his socks and shoes He takes his shirt off, then moves on to his jeans. He unbuttons them and momentarily pauses, trying to remember what underwear he put on this morning. He relaxes once he sees the white waistband that reads Calvin Klein. The rest of the briefs are solid black and Harry is grateful he chose simple, yet slightly sexy underwear._

_Once he's down to his underwear, he climbs over Louis legs, squeezing himself between Louis and the wall on the tiny twin size bed. Louis grabs his wireless Xbox remote, powering on the gaming system so he can start their movie. While they wait for the system to power on, Louis passes him his chicken wrap and fries. Louis shoves his carton of fries between his legs to hold them steady and shoves a few in his mouth, before picking up his controller again._

_"The movie should already be in there. I've watched it so many times already. It's awesome."_

_Harry gives a hum of acknowledgment, only halfway paying attention because his eyes keep following the path Louis hand makes between his legs to grab some fries._

_Sitting the controller down, Louis grabs his food and lays back further, crossing his legs. Thanks to the new angle, everything Louis has to offer is right there, bulging in the front of the boxers. There's no way Harry is going to be able to sit through a movie and not focus on that._

_"What?" Louis says causing Harry to look up._

_"What do you mean what?"_

_"You just whimpered. Are you okay?"_

_Now, he's groaning cause honestly, he's so embarrassed. "Yeah, I'm fine. Just trying to get comfortable." He immediately starts moving a little like that was his goal all along while Louis eyes him like he's amused. "These beds are too small. You'd think with how much they charge for room and board, they'd provide bigger beds."_

_ Once Harry is settled, he grabs one of his own French fries and shoves it in his mouth. Then he gets the wise idea to be a shit and reach between Louis' thighs cradling his French fries and steal one. It's supposed to be cute, stealing his boyfriend's food but when his hand accidently brushes against Louis' package, Louis hisses between his teeth, looking down at Harry’s hand._

_"Find what you're looking for?" Louis asks with a raised brow._

_This wasn't Harry's intention, but now that Louis is looking at him like that, he can't help but be pleased with himself and his clumsiness for missing his target._

_"I don't think so. Might have to look a little more."_

_This time, he bravely rests his large palm over the entirety of Louis' bulge. Louis cants his hips upward, his hand moving down to grab his fries and Harry's food. He sits all of it on the side table without ever taking his eyes off of Harry._

_"I see now why you were so squirmy," Louis says, licking his lips as his eyes go down Harry's torso to his crotch. He's half hard just from staring at Louis._

_Louis brings his right hand down, resting it on top of Harry's. He shouldn't, but Harry smiles when he sees how much smaller Louis' hand is resting over his own. Louis pushes against Harry's hand, causing him to put more pressure on Louis' cock, bringing it to full hardness._

_Leaning forward, Harry's lips press against Louis', slipping his tongue inside his boyfriend's mouth as his hand continues to rub over Louis. _

_The kissing and the teasing are working him up even more. When he can't take it anymore, he wraps a leg on the other side of Louis to straddle him. His mouth dives back onto Louis’, as he starts to grind against the other man. A moan leaves his mouth when he finally gets the much-desired friction of his dick rubbing against Louis'._

_Louis brings both of his hands to Harry's clothed ass, his fingers splayed out and gripping tight as he helps Harry rub off on him._

_"Louis, I'm close," he pants out, feeling himself getting close to euphoria. Suddenly Louis hands freeze, gripping Harry to keep him still and Harry honestly feels like throwing a full-on tantrum._

_"Why did you stop?" He whines out._

_"Don't want you to come this way." Louis pushes gently on Harry's shoulders. Harry flips onto his back on the other side of the bed and to his surprise, Louis is on top of him before he can blink._

_Louis kisses down his neck, moving to the swallows tattooed on his collarbones. He lavishes each one with equal attention, causing Harry to buck his hips._

_"Don't tease me."_

_"It’s not teasing if you're still going to get your happy ending." Louis smirks, the blue of his eyes nearly completely taken over by lust as he continues kissing down Harry's abs. When he gets to the band of Harry's briefs, he slips his hands inside, quickly peeling them off, leaving Harry's dick standing tall, begging for attention._

_Louis' lips wrap around him, sucking him down deep, a hand on each of Harry's thighs._

_"Do you want this, Harry?" Louis asks when he lets Harry fall from his mouth._

_"Yes," he replies all too eager._

_"What exactly do you want?" _

_Harry just lets out a moan, thrusting his hips up. He'll take anything, as long as Louis touches him and soon._

_Suddenly, he feels Louis' hand cup his balls. "Come on, love. You clearly have the balls to tell me so tell me," he says with a little grin._

_"Your fingers," Harry replies roughly, which gets Louis' smiling. _

_"Grab the stuff."_

_Harry turns enough to open the drawer of Louis' nightstand, passing him the bottle of lube. The sound of the bottle snapping open makes his cock twitch and Louis chuckles._

_"Eager aren't you?" Louis slips his hand between Harry's legs, his fingertip lightly brushing over his hole. Harry sucks in a breath when he feels Louis' finger enter him, slowly pumping in and out. _

_When he looks up, he catches Louis looking at his face rather than what he's doing. The corner of Louis' mouth lifts. _

_"You're beautiful, Harry. Always are."_

_Another lubed finger enters him and he sucks in a breath at the sensation coupled with Louis' words. _

_"Scotty went home for the weekend," Louis says softly, causing Harry's brows to knit in confusion._

_"Why are you talking about Scotty right now?" Harry gasps out._

_"Calm down. No need to get jealous," Louis assures him as he scissors his fingers inside of Harry, stretching him further. "He went home for the weekend so there's no chance of him walking in."_

_It finally clicks in Harry's brain what Louis is getting at and his dick leaks at the thought alone of finally getting to have sex with Louis for the first time. _

_"I want you," he whispers out, reaching his hand forward as much as he can, wanting- no needing to touch Louis in some way, to show him just how much he wants this._

_As Louis slips a third finger inside of him, he also leans his head forward grabbing Harry's outstretched hand in his free one and placing it on his own cheek. The blue is back in his eyes, shining brilliantly._

_"You sure?"_

_"Course I am. Wanted this for a while."_

_"Me too," Louis assures him. Louis takes his time, using his fingers for a while to make sure Harry is ready for him. Finally, he sits back on his knees, removing his fingers and Harry whimpers at the emptiness he feels. Harry watches as Louis slides his underwear off, tossing them back behind him. He brings his hand to his throbbing cock as Louis slides off the bed, reaching inside the drawer of the nightstand to pull out a condom._

_Louis crawls back in the bed, gently batting Harry's hand away._

_"Mine," Louis softly demands before opening the condom, and sliding it on. Positioning himself between Harry's legs, he lifts one up and presses a soft kiss to the inside of Harry's knee, causing a blush to creep onto Harry's face._

_Louis lowers Harry's leg and grips his dick, rubbing it against Harry's hole before slowly slipping the head inside._

_"Still okay?" Louis checks in. His hand gently rubs Harry's thigh, but Harry can tell by the look on his face, it's taking everything in him not to thrust forward, but he's being so gentle._

_"Yes, baby. Go ahead." Harry brings his hands to Louis' arms, gripping his biceps, as Louis slowly presses himself all the way in._

_Harry sucks in a breath at the fullness as Louis leans over him with his hands holding himself up on either side of Harry's head. Louis starts slowly thrusting and a low moan rumbles out of Harry before he lifts his legs, wrapping them around Louis' waist. Louis dips his head, kissing Harry as he continues to move. _

_"You feel so good around me. Better than I ever could have imagined," Louis says against his lips. Harry brings his hands to Louis' lower back, letting his nails softly scratch into his skin._

_"So do you," Harry let's out on a breath. "Harder, Louis."_

_Louis picks up the pace slightly, languid yet deep thrusts driving Harry mad. The sound of Louis' balls hitting his backside only spurs him on more, making him moan louder as he feels the base of his spine tingling. Louis pulls back enough to look at Harry's face. His own brows are knit together as his looks into Harry's eyes. _

_"Come on, Harry. You going to come for me?" Louis shifts his weight to one arm slipping the other between their bodies to wrap around Harry's dick. The slight change in angle has Louis' tip brushing against Harry's prostate and Harry's hips lifting off the mattress as Louis continues to stroke him in time with his thrusts_

_"There, Lou. Fuck yes! There please. Don't stop, don't stop," he begs as Louis keeps fucking into him, hitting that same sweet spot over and over._

_Without any warning, Harry is shooting off between their bodies, his toes curling as complete ecstasy takes over every cell in his body._

_He sees stars as his climax seems to go on forever. His vision finally seems to come back, just in time to see Louis' eyes fall closed as he spills over into the condom, his lips parting open as he buries himself as deep as he can inside of Harry._

_"Fuck," Louis breaths out as he collapses on top of Harry, obviously not caring about the sticky mess Harry left between them._

_"Mhm," Harry mumbles in agreement, bringing a hand to the back of Louis head, carding his fingers through his hair._

_"That was amazing." Louis lifts his head up, giving a wide and sated smile._

_"You're amazing." Harry counters, leaning forward to kiss Louis’ smile, before pulling away to smile back. _

_"So are you, Hazza," Louis says so sincerely that Harry feels his heart flutter. "You mean so much to me. You're one of my favorite people in the world."_

_He smiles shyly as Louis slowly pulls out of him and he winces at the loss. Louis gets up and goes to toss the condom in the wastebasket. Harry sits up and leans over the end of the bed, grabbing the towel he used to dry off with earlier. He tries to clean up the mess on his stomach and chest. _

_"You need this?" Harry turns, holding out the towel for Louis. _

_"Yeah, toss it." He catches the towel in one hand and starts wiping it over his body. Harry falls back on the bed._

_"We probably need to shower, actually. Then we can start the movie._

_"Mm," Louis mumbles causing Harry to turn his head._

_Louis has Harry's container of fries to his mouth, his head tilted back as he tips the contents into his open mouth._

_"Hey! Those are mine."_

_Louis smiles as he chews. When he swallows he says, "I know. I told you I'd steal yours if mine were cold."_

_Harry scoffs in disbelief at the shit eating grin on Louis' face. "Aren't mine cold by now too?"_

_"Not the point."_

_Harry can't seem to do anything else but smile stupidly._

*****

**Saturday**

Waking up next to Louis this morning was even better than yesterday. Last night, Louis had invited Harry to his bed. Holding Louis all night long, when he was aware of Harry's presence and wanted Harry's arms around him, had made it more special.

Which is why Harry is now in the kitchen making them eggs, bacon and toast while Louis is still in bed sleeping. Harry hadn't wanted to leave the bed, but he wanted to do something to show Louis that whatever the hell they were doing, he was enjoying it. The last couple days with Louis have brought him back to a much happier time. A time when Louis had been the center of his world.

Whatever they're doing, he doesn't want it to stop. He's tempted to pack Louis up in his suitcase when they fly back home. That way, when he rolls his suitcase in and goes to unpack, he can put Louis' ass back in his space where it belongs. There's no denying that Harry will feel Louis absence for days when they're gone again. It's just the way it is with Louis. The compact man made up for his lack in stature with his larger than life personality. It will be impossible not to notice the void once he's settled in his too quiet apartment all alone.

"Shit!" he curses as a drop of the grease from the bacon pops out and lands on his bare chest, bringing him back to the present. 

"Who fries bacon half naked?" Looking over his shoulder, he sees Louis come in rubbing the sleep from his eyes. Louis smiles and walks right over to him, his fingertip trailing over the fine hairs on Harry's chest searching him for any injuries.

"Yeah, not my brightest idea. But I was going to bring you breakfast in bed like this and let you enjoy the view," he says with a smile that has Louis rolling his eyes fondly.

"I'm enjoying it now," Louis says with a gleam in his eye. He then leans his head down, pressing his lips against the slightly red mark on his sternum.

Sucking in a breath, Harry reaches out and grabs Louis’ biceps to steady himself. So they were doing this. Last night was more than just a moment of misjudgment to Louis. Louis doesn’t regret it just like he said he wouldn’t. 

“Lou?”

“Hmm?” Bright blue eyes look up at him, an easy grin playing on those thin lips and Harry can’t help himself. He leans down and presses his mouth against Louis’ in a sweet kiss. 

Louis kisses him back chastely before pulling back just a little. “Don’t burn my bacon because you’re distracted,” Louis scolds playfully.

“Are you kidding? You are the distraction.” Harry scoffs as he tosses his hands up in the air. He does turn back to the stove and notices the bacon is done. He starts getting the pieces out of the skillet quickly.

“I can’t help that. That’s your own problem.” Louis shrugs his shoulders and heads to the cabinet. Out of the corner of his eye, Harry sees him standing on his tiptoes to reach the mugs.

The movement has his shirt sliding up in the bag, revealing a sliver of tanned skin above the waistband of his gray cotton shorts. Shorts which are making Louis ass look otherworldly. They make him want to take a bite out of Louis’ ass like an apple. Or a peach he should say.

With two mugs in his hands, Louis turns, cocking a brow when he sees Harry staring at him. A smirk slips onto his face. “Distracting you again, am I?” 

Then the asshole actually starts sashaying his hips as he heads over to the coffee pot. Harry knows, that Louis knows, he’s being absolutely maddening. Harry has always been transfixed by Louis’ ass. He could look at it for days. He would now if the smell of something burning didn’t start assaulting him.

“Shit the eggs!” Harry glances back, seeing the scrambled eggs brown and well beyond edible. 

When Harry starts scraping the skillet with the spatula over the trashcan, Louis starts laughing like a manic. 

“Don’t know why you’re laughing,” Harry says. “Now you don’t get to have eggs with your breakfast.”

“Long as I get the bacon, I’ll live.” Louis brings his mug up to his mouth, licking his lips after taking a sip. “I think you used to pay more attention when you were cooking before. I can only recall you charring a pan of brownies one time.”

Harry groans in mild annoyance as he drops the skillet in the sink, then grabs two plates, handing one to Louis. “That was your fault, too. Nobody asked you to push me against the fridge and start sucking my dick.”

“Don’t act like you didn’t like it. I know for a fact that you did,” Louis says smugly before dropping the bacon and toast on his plate. 

They’re flirting. And it’s not awkward. Harry is enjoying this entirely too much, even if the playful teasing is at his expense. 

They both get to the table, sitting across from one another. Harry feels Louis’ foot accidently brush against his ankle before shuffling away. Harry stretches his legs out into Louis’ space, tangling their ankles together which causes Louis’ eyes to crinkle up with the smile he’s holding back. 

Harry is so endeared, he doesn’t give a shit that he burned the eggs anymore. 

As they eat, they start discussing what their plans for their last day should be. Louis tells Harry that he thinks the sky lift is probably still closed due to all the snow, but he’s not too upset about it. Harry is relieved honestly. The sky lift went much higher than the rollercoaster at Dollywood and he had barely survived that. 

After they finish eating, Harry is putting away the dishes when Louis’ cellphone rings. 

“Hello?... This is he… Oh! Oh!” Louis casts Harry a nervous look that has Harry standing at attention, looking over at Louis with concern in his eyes waiting to know what’s going on. “Oh, well, um, we’ll still be there then. Don’t charge the cancellation fee. Thank you for calling.”

He sits the phone down on the table and looks at Harry, biting his lip.

“Everything okay? That wasn’t, something with your family? Something happen at work?”

“No, nothing like that,” Louis’ assures him. “That was The Clifftop Grill and Bar confirming our reservation.”

“We didn’t make a reservation there?” Harry says, but it comes out sounding more like a question.

“We did a year ago. That’s why they called to remind us. There is a cancellation fee and we still didn’t figure out what we wanted to do so...” Louis trails off, bringing a hand up to rub at the back of his neck.

Great. Now Louis is clamming up. Harry doesn’t like the way he’s standing there so unsure of himself. Harry remembers now that when they planned this trip when they were still together, Saturday night was going to be their night. They were going to do it up big and have a romantic date night together. Dinner at The Clifftop, possibly a romantic stroll afterwards. Back then, the focus of the trip was essentially centered around Louis’ grandparents, except for this date night.

“So we’re going on a date.” Harry says, trying to sound as casual as he can. He’s sure he failed when Louis’ head snaps up, gaping at him. “It’s already planned, so we should do it. We should get dressed up and enjoy our evening together. It’s not like we haven’t went on a date before, Lou.”

“Yeah, but-“

“No buts,” Harry cuts him off. “Except for yours in a nice pair of dress trousers.” He grins at Louis and shuffles over to him. He rests his hands on Louis’ shoulders, hoping to ease Louis’ tension. Secretly, he really fucking wants to go on a date with Louis again. He wants this so bad, he’d consider grabbing Louis and squeezing him in a tight hug and refusing to let him go until he agrees to it. See how romantic he is? “It’ll be fine. I think we’ll have a good time. If I’m remembering correctly, that restaurant had stunning views.”

“Well, it is called The Cliff Top Steakhouse, Hazza,” Louis softly teases, as he brings his hands to Harry’s wrists. He can tell Louis is getting back to how he was this morning, but Harry thinks he can still see a slight reservation in Louis’ eyes. “Damn, I didn’t bring dress trousers. I don’t think I have anything nice enough to wear.”

“We can go shopping. Like you said, we don’t have anything else to do today. We’ll go get changed and head up town.”

Louis nods in agreement and they both start heading up the stairs. Harry heads to his own room since his bags are still in here. He starts digging through his suitcase, trying to see if he brought anything nice enough for dinner tonight. It’s possible he might need to get himself a new outfit to wear, too.

There are a few shirts that may work, but he decides it wouldn’t hurt to get a new top. This is his  
first date with Louis in over a year. Even though Louis probably isn’t thinking of it as a “date date” he still wants to look his best for him. He always wants to be his best for Louis. 

He hopes he packed his rose ring to wear to dinner. He vaguely remembers shoving some of his excess jewelry into one of the suitcase pockets when he was packing. He wasn’t sure what he wanted to bring and what he didn’t, so he just shoved a handful of it into one of the side pockets. 

Too bad this suitcase has so many damn pockets. Harry is losing things in them instead of keeping them safe. He grins as he continues unzipping and digging as he recalls the Christmas Louis got him this suitcase. Louis had every stupid pocket in the thing stuffed with another present for him.

His hand wraps around a box in one of the pocket and he pulls it out. The navy blue velvet box feels insanely heavy in his hand as he stares down at it. He can’t breathe for a second. He can’t remember how this got in here. 

Opening the lid, he sucks in a sharp breath when the ring comes into view. It’s the engagement ring he never got to give Louis.

His eyes sting so much he has to reach up and rub harshly at them. This reminds him of how fucking happy he had been when he bought it. He couldn’t wait to ask Louis to marry him, and it’s devastating now to think he never got the chance to ask him and now he never will.

For a moment, he wonders if Louis would have said yes if he would have asked him the day he moved out. He knows the timing of course would have been awful and he shouldn’t be thinking about using an engagement as a band aid to fix their problems, but he wonders what Louis would have said.

He has the slight urge to slip the ring pocket in his jeans tonight and carry it to dinner with them. The restaurant would probably be a wonderful place to propose. Maybe this way, he can fix all of this right now. Erase the last year of Louis’ broken heart, wipe away the loneliness Harry has felt without Louis. Maybe they could act like the past year never happened and they’re simply two guys in love, on vacation together, about to start a new chapter in their lives—together—when Harry proposes. Maybe Louis would even tear up as he dropped to a knee and told Louis that he’s the greatest thing Harry ever loved in the world.

“Harry, I’m ready!” he hears Louis’ voice call out from down the hall. Harry snaps the box closed quickly and shoves it back into the pocket he got it from. 

“Give me a few more minutes!” Harry calls back as he quickly grabs whatever items of clothing are on top to slip on now.

He knows they can’t pretend. He knows an old ring in a box won’t fix anything, but it was nice to think about how it would be if they were here under different circumstances; even if just for a moment. 

He’ll never get to know how Louis would react, what Louis would say or how he’d feel. The only thing Harry knows for sure is that Louis is still the greatest thing in the world that Harry loves.

*****

“Harry. Put down the shot glass and come on. This isn’t the store we need.”

“These are not the droids you’re looking for.” Harry says in his best Obi Wan, Star Wars impression. He also waves his hand through the air, making Louis smirk. The first time he remembers Harry making that motion, Louis asked if he was swatting bugs. Harry scoffed and said it was him using his Jedi mind tricks. But Louis didn’t laugh then, because Harry hadn’t liked the movie, so Louis didn’t appreciate the joke. Today… 

“I can’t believe you remember that line. I thought you hated that movie.”

“Not hate. Hate is a strong word. I just, it isn’t my type of movie. I’m more into romance and suspense. Like, um…”

“Fifty Shades?”

“Louis!” Harry actually blushes when Louis meets his eye. “That is not what I meant. It was; however, a great movie.” They move outside and walk into the next shop over and head toward the men’s clothing section.

“Yeah it was. Hey, think I should wear a red shirt tonight?”

“Louis! You are deliberately trying to embarrass me here. So, no! You cannot wear a red shirt.”

“Fine. I’ll just settle for red boxers.” Louis turns his triumphant face to Harry in time to see his boy grab a shirt and run into the dressing room. Louis starts laughing again as he shuffles through the racks, waiting on Harry. “Oi! You need to calm down, Harry or this will be one long night for us.”

Louis sorts through the racks and finds a cream-colored dress shirt he likes, and after he takes his size, he turns to look for pants. Instead, the first thing his eyes land on is a cashmere sweater in the shade of green that has haunted his dreams for a year now. He moves forward and runs his hands over the soft fabric and Louis physically shivers as the soft feel reminds him of Harry’s lips.

“Louis? I found something. I don’t know if you’ll like it. Where are you? Louis?”

Louis grabs the sweater and hides it under the shirt in his arms. He looks up to see Harry and a smile breaks out on his face.

“You look lovely, Harry. I’ve always liked you in blue. Is that silk? It looks very delicate, come here. Let me feel you. Your shirt, I mean. Let me feel your shirt.” Harry grins like a fool as he walks closer to Louis, the shirt changing color slightly to reveal a tone-on-tone pattern. Louis takes a sharp breath as Harry invades his space. 

“Go on, Lou. Feel it. It does feel nice. And the blue is perfect…it matches my favorite shade of blue.” He smiles at Louis and Louis’ body puddles to the floor at Harry’s feet. Tentatively, Louis reaches out to touch the silk shirt and is met with the firm chest he’s missed for so long. When he feels Harry’s heartbeat, Louis jumps and starts to pull his hand back, but Harry catches it and places it back on his chest. “I won’t bite, Louis. Not unless you want me to.”

“Such a tease, Hazza. But yes, the shirt is lovely. I have a surprise for you. But I want to keep it a surprise. And I still need pants.”

“You’re just going in those red boxers then? Is that my surprise?” They both laugh at the quick turn of events that now has Harry embarrassing Louis with every word out of his mouth. “Tell you what, Louis. Let me go change, and you can finish your surprise and then we can go pay and head back. Alright? We don’t want to be late for this reservation. It was prepaid too, right?”

“Right. But I-I’m still glad we’re going. That we’re in a better place.” And with that, Louis pops a quick kiss to Harry’s cheek and heads off, while Harry stands there, rubbing his chin, a big, smitten smile on his face.

*****

Harry is pacing the living room waiting on Louis to come down. He started back up the stairs then remembered Louis told him to fuck off and leave him alone the last time he did that, ten minutes ago. He changes his mind and goes back to pacing the living room. Harry smiles to himself, remembering the laugh in Louis’ voice. Louis called him his impatient child. Harry loves when Louis calls him his impatient child.

“All this pacing will damage the floors and then I won’t get my deposit back.” Louis’ voice catches Harry off guard and when he whirls around, he trips over his own feet and starts to fall down. Louis catches him. “Steady Haz. You aren’t supposed to fall at my feet till after dinner.” 

The light laugh that comes from Louis’ mouth is music to Harry’s ears. There was a time in their most recent history, where any time Louis laughed, Harry felt it was at him. This was different. This was the special, loving laugh that Louis gave Harry when they were in love. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Love? Did Harry just think love? He shakes his head as he stands up, offering Louis a brilliant smile. 

“Sorry for laying you out, Lou. I’m good now.” Harry clears his throat. “Thanks for the solid catch. I see you haven’t lost your soccer reflexes. Wow. Louis, you look amazing. Seriously, you look…is that cashmere?”

“Yeah, I saw it while you were in the dressing room. Do you like it, really? It’s uh, my favorite shade of green.” Louis looks up and makes eye contact with Harry and they both blush and look away. Louis clears his throat. “I love this shirt on you. It the perfect shade…You’ve always looked lovely in blue. And, uh, nice chest.” 

“Thanks. I’ve spent some time boxing lately. Good way to keep my energy up. So, are we ready then? We have no idea how the roads are going to be.”

“I thought of that too, Harry.” Right then there is a knock on the door and Louis smiles as he moves to answer it.

“Your car, Mr. Tomlinson.”

“Thank you. We’ll be right out.” The driver nods and Louis smiles at Harry as he reaches for their coats. “Come along, Harry. It’s rude to keep someone waiting.”

“You ordered a driver? Louis, that had to cost a fortune!”

“It really didn’t. Don’t worry. I just assumed we would want to drink tonight and why risk these mountains when a car service was in the area. You’ll love this too. It’s a Hummer.”

“No way!” Harry splits the sky with his smile, grabs his coat from Louis, and rushes outside. “Awesome!”

“It is. And no, you cannot drive this one.”

“Spoilsport. Oh well! Let’s just go. This is going to be amazing.” Harry and Louis get in the car, and Harry bounces around, checking all the gadgets and pulling his phone out to snap selfies of the interior. “Excuse me, sir? When we get there will you take a photo of me and my boyfriend beside the car? So I have a memento?”

Harry is so excited that he misses Louis’ sharp intake of breath and the way his hand reaches toward Harry’s own when he called Louis his boyfriend. Louis quickly takes another silent breath and opens his mouth to remind Harry they are not a couple…but no words come out. Louis glances at Harry, who is chatting with the driver, and Louis just smiles. For this night, at least, if Harry wants to be his boyfriend again, Louis can handle that just fine.

******

The restaurant is decorated for the season, pumpkins, gourds, and sunflowers having the place of honor on each table along with crystal glasses and real silver, silverware. Candles shimmer and wink as Louis and Harry move to the table set for them. They are on the covered patio of the Clifftop Grill and Bar, in between two ornately carved firepits that stand almost as tall as Louis. Each firepit is setting off enough heat that the patrons around them do not appear to notice the cold. Louis and Harry sit and glance over the menus, then look up at each other.

“This is a lovely place. But why are we ordering if this was prepaid?” Harry asks Louis over the top of the menu.

“Because we just paid for the meal, we didn’t order it. We have a very small list to order from, this isn’t the full menu. We can have one appetizer, each an entrée with sides, and a dessert to share. I uh, I also ordered a bottle of wine. I hope that’s ok.”

“That’s ok, Louis. I love wine.” The waiter brings the wine, and after they place their orders, they sit back and take a drink. “This is a nice place. I had forgotten why we picked it to come to.”

“Yeah. This wasn’t on my grandma’s list. But it is nice…romantic. Perfect for the happy couple we were when we planned our vacation.”

“We’re happy tonight, Louis. Let’s concentrate on that. This week, this night, we’re happy. I am. Happy that is, here with you. Louis, cheers!” Their food comes and Harry raises a glass to Louis, happy that he shared his true feelings with Louis, yet sad that he can’t read Louis’ face to know for sure if those feelings are reciprocated.

“I’m happy too. Here, this weekend with you. I am very happy. You’ve, you’ve made this weekend what it was supposed to be. It’s been a great weekend, I’m sad it’s almost over. But I am very happy we are here, together.”

Harry preens under the lovely words from his boy. His Louis. Just like he used to preen anytime Louis gushed at him. It has been so long since those gushes were part of their relationship, that hearing them now, even in this small way, has Harry feeling all kinds of smitten. Just like he always did.

They go back to their meals and Harry cannot help himself, he reaches out to touch Louis’ hand on top of the table. Louis looks up sharply and Harry withdraws his hand. Louis feels the lost contact and reaches over to take Harry’s hand.

“You don’t have to be afraid to hold my hand, Harry. I miss this part of us, the soft touches, the shared looks, the fun, the intimacy. Harry, you were my first love. My only love so far in my life. I…”

“Yes?” Harry’s gaze boars right into Louis, looking deep into his soul and Harry raises his hand, signaling the waiter. “Can we get that dessert to go?” The waiter wonders off and Harry squeezes Louis’ hand.

“Harry…I’ve missed you. This week has shown me just how much you still mean to me.”

“Louis, you have no idea how much I have been waiting on you to say that. How much I wanted to hear you say that.” The waiter brings their dessert in a to go container and they stand together. “Will the car be waiting? How long do we need to wait on him?”

“Let me have my hand back and I’ll text.” Harry almost whimpers when he lets go of Louis’ hand, but he audibly sighs when Louis wraps his arm around Harry’s longer arm. “I’m not going anywhere Harry. Definitely not without you.” 

“It’s cold out here. Didn’t we wear coats?”

Louis chuckles. “Yes, we did. You wait right here, I’ll grab them.” Louis looks at Harry, pulls him down by the neck, and kisses him. This kiss is different. It’s not safe, and it’s not exploratory like the several they’ve shared this week. This kiss is familiar, owning, demanding. Louis pulls away and kisses Harry quickly once more then whispers, “I’ll be back. Two minutes, Hazza.”

Two minutes later, Harry sees the Hummer pull up and barely has time to register that Louis is back and opening the door first before pulling him in, when he finds Louis wrapping his hands in Harry’s curls and bringing their lips back together.

“You’re mine, Harry. I can’t think about yesterday, or even tomorrow. But right now, you’re mine. Can you…is that ok? Are you ok with this?”

Harry’s hands grab Louis’ ass and pull him onto his lap so Louis is straddling him as the Hummer makes its way up the side of the mountain. “I am so, ok with that, Louis. Tonight, I’m yours and you are mine. I can’t believe I haven’t had you like this yet this week. I feel like I’ve shown considerable restraint.”

Louis rocks up over Harry’s lap and they both moan. “I don’t think you have much restraint left, Harry. I hope you don’t. I know I can’t wait anymore.

The car pulls up at the cabin and Louis tosses some cash at the driver. Harry mumbles a thank you as they close the door and race up the steps. Louis gets the cabin unlocked and the door open, Harry pressing against his backside, lips on Louis’ neck, as they stumble inside. Louis strips his coat off and shuts the door before he turns into Harry’s arms. Their kiss is fire and Louis knows this is the place he is meant to be.

“Harry. I need…”

“I know.” 

Harry lifts him off his feet, and he wraps his legs around Harry's narrow hips. Before he can form a coherent thought, his back is being pressed against a wall as Harry's lips lavish and nip at his neck.

Louis tugs his fingers in Harry's curls and groans when he feels Harry's impressive erection pressing against him, his own tucked between his and Harry's body. The friction feels incredible and he's worried that if Harry keeps grinding on him like this, he's going to come right here in his pants, it's been so long.

"Bedroom," he manages to say impatiently as he tilts his head further to the side to give Harry more room, as Harry's mouth now works over his left collarbone.

Harry presses a chaste kiss to the spot he's been sucking. Louis is sure there's going to be a love bite there. Instead of being upset, picturing Harry's mark on him is only driving him more wild than he’s been in a nice long while.

"Harry, bedroom." He insists again as he tugs Harry's hair to pull his face up which causes Harry to moan out. Louis knows he always had a thing for getting his hair pulled. When Louis takes in his face, he smirks. Harry's pupils are wide with lust, cheeks flushed with desire. He wants Louis and Louis wants him so much.

Turning them towards the stairs, Harry slips his hands under Louis' ass starting up the stairs with just as much impatience as Louis has. Louis returns the favor and starts kissing up Harry's neck.

"If you keep doing that, we're never going to make it to your room."

"Can't stop," Louis mumbles, sticking the tip of his tongue out to sweep it over the vein currently sticking out in Harry's neck. Louis chuckles when he hears Harry cursing under his breath.

When they get to Louis' room, Harry drops Louis to his feet and immediately starts working to unbutton his shirt. He doesn't waste any time reaching out to strip Louis of his next. His nimble fingers work the buttons.

"I want you so much, Louis. Always want you."

Louis doesn't get the chance to respond yet, because Harry's mouth lands on his, kissing him like he's starved for it. He rests his hands on Harry's small love handles, kneading his fingers into the soft flesh.

"I want you, too. Out of those pants, Hazza."

They break the kiss, and both start tugging off their shoes and trousers. Eager, Harry is the first stripped down and tosses himself on the bed. When Louis looks over, his eyes lock on Harry's naked body sprawled out on the bed, his right hand lazily stroking his cock. He's watching Louis strip.

"Don't stop on my account. Take off the boxers." His hips buck up into his fist and Louis thinks he might be leaving a puddle of drool on the floor by now.

He finally manages to look away from Harry long enough to slide his boxers down his legs. He kneels onto the bed, crawling towards Harry as best as he can. The hard dick hanging between his legs slowing him slightly.

Just as he's about to crawl on top of Harry, the younger man is beating him to it. He grabs Louis, tugging him onto his lap. With Louis straddling Harry now, their dicks are lined up together and Harry puts those large hands to use, taking both of them in his hand starting to jack them off together.  
"Not gonna last long if you keep that up," Louis hisses. "You feel too good."  
"So do you. Can't wait to really feel you." Harry removes his hand and Louis wants to whine despite just warning Harry off. "Got any lube in here?"

"What?" Louis' mind hasn't been functioning properly since Harry first kissed him tonight.

"Lube," He draws it out like Louis is a child. "We need it so you can prep me. I can't wait any longer to have you."

Louis fishmouths, before letting out a groan, letting his forehead fall forward to Harry's shoulder. "I don't have any lube."

"S'okay. Got some in my room. I'll be back." Harry moves to get up but Louis, tightens his thighs holding Harry back down. 

"Why do you have lube with you?" He hates how small and vulnerable his voice sounds. "Did you think..." He shakes his head, trying to collect his thoughts. "Were you planning on trying to sleep with me all along?"

By the way Harry's eyes go wide with surprise, Louis believes that isn't the case before Harry even starts to explain. "No, Lou. I had no idea we'd end up here. At the most, I was hoping we could find a way to be civil on this trip. I had no idea I'd have you in my arms again." A dimpled grin appears on Harry's face which reassures Louis that he can trust Harry. And that he wants whatever Harry is willing to give him right now. "It was still in my travel bag from that weekend we went to Dallas.”

Harry leans forward and presses a kiss to the tip of Louis' nose, causing the corner of his mouth to quirk up. Louis finally rolls off of Harry, letting him stand. Reaching out, he playfully smacks Harry's bare ass cheek. "Hurry back."

While Harry is off fetching the stuff, Louis pulls the covers back on the bed and crawls under them properly. He does wish Harry would hurry back before his mind decides to convince him of all the reasons why he shouldn't do this.

No matter what, he knows he will anyway because his heart is beating with every reason why he should.

Harry returns and jumps on the bed like an overgrown monkey, smiling wide, before grabbing the covers and yanking them down off of Louis. "Don't try to hide from me, Lou. I want to see you. Missed you." He gets settled at Louis' side and tosses a leg over Louis' waist before sitting the lube down on his tummy. "I couldn't find a condom."

"I haven't been with anyone since you," Louis admits, feeling slightly embarrassed.

"Me either." Harry says, his voice much steadier as he says it. Louis feels a huge relief in his chest at that. Not that Harry would be wrong if he did, but Louis can't bear the thought of anyone else touching his Harry.

Snapping the cap off of the lube, Louis squeezes some onto his fingers, while Harry lifts his leg up a higher, trying to give Louis more room for his hand between his legs. "Wait, Haz." Louis uses his other hand to slide Harry's leg back down. He sits back up, moving to straddle Harry once again.

Harry blinks in confusion, but he doesn't stay that way long as he watches Louis' hand disappear behind himself. Louis lets out a deep breath when his own finger breaches his own hole.

"You sure?" Harry asks all the while looking at Louis is astonishment.

"Yeah, just, slow. Like always. I mean, like before," Louis says, already panting as he gets himself worked up to two fingers. They'd done this before, plenty of times when they were together, but Louis knows it was always special for Harry since Louis has never done it this way for anyone else.

"You look so hot, Lou. So fucking sexy," Harry praises, causing precome to leak from Louis' dick. Harry must have noticed too, since his fingers immediately brush over it, spreading it around his cockhead. Louis whines out and adds another finger. He's working them quickly, not for his own pleasure but to get himself ready for Harry. Harry is huge, not lacking in length or girth, so Louis knows he needs to be fully ready.

"Please, Harry."

"You want my fingers? Yours never were quite long enough were they, darling?" Louis would preen at the pet name if he wasn't too busy bouncing back on his fingers. Harry grabs the lube and coats his own fingers before knocking Louis' arm out of the way.

Air rushes out of Louis’ lungs when he feels two of Harry’s glorious fingers slip inside of him where his own just were. It feels so much better with Harry doing it. Harry crooks them just the right way that they brush over that sensitive bundle of nerves, causing Louis to nearly scream in pleasure.

“I’m ready, Harry.” He damn near pleads.

“Don’t think you are. Not yet.” Without warning, Harry adds a third finger, increasing the full feeling. Louis is going to cry if Harry doesn’t fuck him soon. With a moan, Louis moves his hips backwards into Harry’s fingers. The motion causes his dick to drag against Harry’s abs.

“Fucking hell, Lou.” Harry sounds just as close to the edge of desire with the way his voice sounds rough. Clearing this throat, he pulls his fingers out, causing Louis to whimper at the emptiness.

“Don’t worry. I’ve got you.” Harry assures, lifting his clean hand to stroke Louis’ cheek. His other hand taps Louis’ thigh, wanting him to roll off. 

After wiping his hand on the throw blanket at the end of the bed, Harry rolls over, hovering over Louis. Louis spreads his legs wide, then wraps them around Harry’s narrow hips. He feels the blunt head of Harry’s cock nudging at his entrance. They both suck in harshly when the first few inches of Harry slip inside Louis’ hole. 

“You feel amazing. You are amazing,” Harry says, rubbing his palms over Louis’ thighs comfortingly. Harry’s brows are knitted together with the restraint he’s showing not to thrust all the way in. Louis would marvel at Harry’s thoughtfulness if he wasn’t so damn turned on and worked up.

“Give it to me,” He demands, starting to feel hot and restless with the fullness in his backside.

“You sure you’re okay?”

“Yes.” He rolls his eyes, but grins slightly. “I’ll be fine and dandy once you finally start fucking me.”

He’s cut off when Harry snaps his hips forward, sliding in to the hilt. A gasp pours out of Louis’ throat and when he opens his eyes, he’s expecting to see Harry’s smug grin. He’s surprised to see Harry’s lips parted open and his eyes locked on where they are connected like he can’t quite believe he’s really here doing this with Louis. 

“Swear this ass was made to be worshipped by me, baby,” Harry grumbles out. “So tight.”

Now, Louis is sure he must be blushing. Maybe he can blame it simply on arousal later if Harry mentions it.

Harry starts moving his hips, setting a steady pace that has needy, little whimpers leaving Louis’ mouth every time Harry’s balls smack against his ass.

“Don’t stop. Please, Harry, don’t fucking stop,” Louis says as coherently as he can in between his panting. He moves his hands up to Harry’s biceps, feeling the muscles tense under Harry’s exertion. That gets Louis’ even more worked up.

He starts moving his hips up to meet Harry’s thrusts and he cries out when Harry finally hits his prostate. The tingling at his spine tells him he’s close. It’s been so long and this is Harry after all. They’ve always known how to move together. They know each other’s bodies almost as well as their own.

“Close,” Louis utters, grasping onto Harry like a lifeline.

“Let go for me.” Harry wraps a hand around Louis’ ridged dick, only tugging a few times when Louis explodes, shooting off onto Harry’s hand as well as his on chest. Harry continues jerking and fucking him through it. He continues crying out Harry’s name on repeat like it’s the only word he knows.

When he finally starts coming down, he feels Harry bury himself as deep as he can get, his fingers tightening their hold on Louis’ hips. Louis watches as Harry’s eyes fall closed under the weight of his pleasure. His jaw falls open as he groans with his release. Louis revels in watching Harry come undone because of him. He’s always loved it. He’s always loved Harry.

Damn it, he still loves Harry. Sex always did soften him, It’s been known to bring out his emotions and make him a little needy. 

When Harry opens his eyes, the first thing he does is smile wide, showing all his teeth before leaning down to press his lips against Louis’. Louis kisses him back until he can’t handle the sensitivity in his bum anymore.

Breaking the kiss, he brings a hand up to brush Harry’s curls back from his forehead. “Need to get up soon.”

“Or you can give me ten minutes and we can do that again.”

When Louis snorts half-heartedly, Harry grins, but it quickly turns into a frown. “You’re okay, right?” Harry asks, finally slipping out of Louis and rolling to the other side of the bed.

Louis whines at the loss. “Course I am. That was great.”

“Marvelous, spectacular, mind blowing. Come on, use your Scrabble words.” Harry’s silly grin comes back once again and he grabs Louis, cuddling their chests together despite the mess Louis made on his own.

“Mhm. You were very vampy.” Louis wiggles his brows teasingly, and Harry cackles out a loud laugh, burying his face into Louis’ neck.

Louis joins him, laughing along until he hears Harry whisper against his neck once Harry’s fit of giggles finally dies down.

“I’ve missed this. How easy it was with you.” His full lips leave feather-light kisses along Louis’ neck. “I love you.”

Every bone in Louis’ body goes ridged and he knows Harry has to feel it. His mind is yelling at him to get up and run. Get the hell out of here and get away from this man that once ripped him apart and could easily do it again. 

But Harry lifts his head, bringing his hand up to cup Louis’ cheek. He doesn’t say anything, but his eyes are saying, “Trust me. Please.” The weight of his arms around Louis feels like he just might be able to trust Harry again.

“I’m sorry.” Harry says softly. “Not for feeling it, but for possibly freaking you out by saying too much after…” He pauses, eyes searching Louis’ face. “Saying too much right now, I mean.” 

“Is it true?” Louis dares to ask.

Harry’s face twists up for a moment. “Of course it is. That will always be true. Always.”

Swallowing a lump in his throat, Louis forces his eyes to stay on Harry’s as he makes himself be brave. “Then don’t be sorry. Not talking didn’t do us any good before. We learned that the hard way. Now, we don’t have anything left to lose. We might as well say what we really mean.”

Harry nods, licking his lips. “Then I love you,” he says again, surer of it this time and looking right at Louis so fiercely like he wants Louis to feel the words more than just hear them. 

“I love you, too,” he replies softly. It takes a lot to get him to let those words come out of his mouth again, but the way Harry’s whole face lights up almost makes the way he’s going to feel tomorrow when they leave and this all ends completely worth it.

Harry grabs the throw at the end of the bed and swipes it over his own chest, then starts cleaning up the stickiness on Louis’. “Let me hold you for a little while. We can clean up latter.”

Louis is a little worn out physically and emotionally. He doesn’t think he could get up to shower just yet anyway.

After tossing the throw blanket over the side of the bed, Harry’s steady arms wrap around him and Harry’s legs tangle with his own. His head ends up on Harry’s chest as they hold each other. Louis focuses on nothing more than how it feels right now to be holding his world again, even if just for this moment. He has this and this will just have to be enough. 

He feels Harry press a kiss to the top of his head and it’s more than enough.


	9. Sunday

_"I like this one better than the last already," Louis says with a hand over his eyes to stop the sun from blinding him as he gazes at the gray brick building. It has rose bushes on each side of the building, adding to its well kept appearance. _

_The decision for them to move in together wasn't a difficult one to make. They'd been together for nearly two years. It felt right. _

_This will be the fourth apartment he and Harry have looked at. The first one was okay. Basic and pretty plain if he's being truthful. Not to mention, it was thirty minutes away from the college and their work. Thinking of the long term, Louis didn't want to make that far of a drive every day. _

_The second place wasn't in the best neighborhood, so Harry vetoed that one immediately and the third apartment, they both decided wasn't worth it after they arrived hand in hand and the landlord eyed them with distaste, then did again anytime they touched each other for the rest of the visit. _

_Luck hasn't been on their side and Louis knows Harry is starting to panic since neither of them have signed up for housing on campus for next year. As it is now, they are going to be starting their junior year of college with nowhere to live._

_"It does have curb appeal," Harry says with a lilt of admiration in his tone. "Hopefully it’s just as lovely on the inside."_

_His hand finds Louis' as they head up the front stairs and inside the building, entering the lobby. To the left, black leather couches make up a cozy seating area, all of which surround the decent size flat screen on the wall. _

_"Real flowers."_

_"What?" Louis asks._

_"The flowers are real," Harry informs him, pointing to a vase of some pink flower Louis doesn't know the name of that are resting on the end tables. "That's a good sign. I like it."_

_Louis hums in agreement, even though he couldn't care less if there were any flowers in here at all. He rises forward on his feet and gently kisses Harry's cheek. "Told you I had a good feeling about this one. You spent all that time worrying about where we were going to live. I told you to relax and trust me."_

_He leans forward, pressing a kiss to Harry's mouth right as he hears the clicking of high heels on the tile floor._

_When Louis turns, he sees a brunette woman dressed in a navy skirt suit approaching them, an easy smile on her face. She can't be much older than thirty. _

_So she wasn't bothered by Louis kissing his boyfriend in the lobby. Check. They are off to a good start._

_"You must be Louis and Harry. Gabriella Davis. Pleasure to meet you." The woman holds out a hand, shaking his and then Harry's hand. "Ready to check out the apartment?"_

_"Absolutely," Harry answers. "I love it so far."_

_"That's what I like to hear," Gabriella says as she leads them towards the stairs. They all start climbing up as she continues. "I think you'll like the layout of the apartment. It's just had a fresh coat of paint too."_

_Louis wants to ask where the elevator is, but decides to wait. Thankfully, they stop on the second floor, heading towards the end of the hall. She stops in front of apartment 28 and sticks her key in the lock. "There are only four apartments on this floor so it's fairly private too. Come on in."_

_She stands against the door, letting Louis and Harry enter. _

_"Look at all the windows, Lou. I love how bright it is in here," Harry chimes out._

_The living room has white walls and as Harry said, three windows sit on the back wall, allowing in plenty of natural light. _

_Louis knows Harry probably loves the mix of the light with the white walls. He can see Harry decorating the place with lots of greenery, plants in every nook and cranny._

_"You have a view of the backyard from those windows. It's not much, but better than staring at the side of another building, right?" Gabriella chuckles as she leads them to the kitchen, which is a little on the smaller side, but you can't have it all and it's just the two of them anyway. It would surely be big enough for Harry to bake and cook in for them._

_"Can we see the bedroom now?" Louis inquires and Harry shoots him a look, rolling his eyes. Louis is sure that Harry thinks he was being dirty, but honestly, he was just ready to see it. If the bedroom and the bathroom are in good shape, he's sure this is the place for them._

_"Of course. This is just a one bedroom. We have another two bedroom apartment available if you'd like to see that," the landlord offers. _

_"Not necessary," Louis assures her. "With it being just us, I don't see why we’d need anything bigger." He slides his hand from Harry's shoulder, down his arm until his fingers catch on Harry's and he can link them together._

_She grins, eyeing the both of them and Louis is sure if this wasn't a somewhat professional meeting, she would tell them how cute they are together. He thinks so anyway._

_"Right this way," Gabriella leads them to a hallway off of the living room, pointing to the door as they pass by. "Storage closet here. Bathroom on the right over here. And at the end of the hall, the bedroom."_

_She opens the door, standing back to let them step inside _

_The first thing he notices is that it's much bigger than he thought it would be. His eyes rake over the clean white walls as he shuffles forward on the light wooden floors towards the center of the room. Harry's already making his way towards two of the windows side-by-side on the far wall._

_"My feet will freeze on this floor in the winter," Louis says. _

_"They pulled the carpet up a few years ago," Gabriella informs them. "I told them to replace it all with the wood floors. Much easier to keep everything clean when it's a leased space. Not to mention, the wood floors look prettier in my opinion."_

_Harry nods along in agreement, small smile on his face like he's holding back. Louis already knows Harry loves this apartment. He's probably holding back because Gabriella is with them. Either that, or he wants to know Louis' own thoughts on it before stating his opinion. Harry shouldn't worry though. Louis loves it, too. _

_"Can we have a moment alone to discuss?" Louis asks Gabriella. _

_"Absolutely. I'll be in the living room when you're finished. Don't forget to check out the closet and the bathroom, too." With that, she exits the room, leaving Louis and Harry alone in what will be their first ever shared bedroom if this conversation goes well._

_"What are you thinking?" Harry speaks up first. His bottom lip catches between his teeth and he glances around the room again._

_Reaching up, he grabs Harry's biceps, rubbing his hands up and down the impressive muscles. He knows he must have a stupid grin on his face when he says, "I like it. A lot. I can see this being our home. Can't you?" He drops his hands, but slips one arm around Harry's waist turning him to face the wall to their right. "I'm thinking our bed could go here. We still need to find matching nightstands we like. This room is so big, we can fit a large dresser over there for all your sweats and panties."_

_Harry snorts in response, but Louis doesn't stop talking, rambling away like he's trying to show Harry his vision. "That window seat area in the living room would be perfect for plants. We can get a big sectional for the living room. I know the kitchen could be bigger, but at least it has a small bar right? I can sit there while you make me chocolate chip cookies."_

_"Or you could make me cookies while I sit and the bar and look pretty," Harry replies._

_"We want edible cookies, love," Louis chuckles and then meets Harry's eyes as his tone turns serious again. "Do you like it?"_

_"I really, really do," he says with a nod. "I could see this being our home. But Lou, it's over our budget."_

_Louis waves a hand in the air. "Don't worry about that. It's not too much over. I can always try to pick up a few more hours at the office if I need to. Don't you worry your pretty head, Hazza. Everything will be just fine."_

_The reassuring smile stays firmly on Louis’ face until he leans up to press his lips against Harry's. Strong arms wrap around his frame, making this feel even more like home, even though it's not theirs yet._

_"If you're sure, baby, then so am I. I do love it. And you."_

_"Always," Louis says sappily. _

_They move in a week later. They're hauling boxes up to their apartment. Yes, theirs. Well, at least for a year according to the lease he and Harry both signed. Louis feels light inside, happier than he's ever felt. He gets to wake up every single day next to his gorgeous boyfriend. Things couldn't be better. _

_Except if all of these boxes somehow magically appeared upstairs and he could stop making trips up and down the stairs. His thighs burn like he's been doing squats for a week straight. He really had no idea how much shit he and Harry owned until they started loading it all up into their cars. He sits two boxes down in the middle of the living room where the others are residing and he plops himself down on their large charcoal gray sofa. He needs a break. Or a nap. _

_"Don't you dare lay down!" Harry's voice rings out, making him straighten his posture._

_"I wasn't. I just needed to rest my feet."_

_"Sure. You act like I don't know you at all, Lou." Harry shakes his head and moves over to the couch to join Louis. _

_"How many more do we have?"_

_"That's all of it," Harry says and Louis let's out a very appreciative groan. _

_"Thank god. I had about decided that anything else out there, we could just get rid of. Wouldn't have even cared at this point."_

_Harry leans over and squeezes Louis thigh. "You might not be saying that if you knew the last box I brought in was your Xbox games." _

_Louis' brows shoot up to his hairline, causing Harry to laugh loudly at the traumatized look on his face._

_"I'd have warned you," Harry assures him. "I do have some bad news though."_

_Louis' entire body tenses. Despite his bitching, this has been a great day. He and Harry moving their things, laughing and bickering the entire time, both of them filled to the brim with the excitement of this new journey together. He doesn't want a bad thing to touch this perfect day. _

_"How bad is it?" he cautiously asks._

_"Home Scents called a bit ago. They can't deliver the bed until tomorrow morning. Something about issues with one of their drivers."_

_An annoyed sigh comes out of Louis' mouth, but he supposes it could be a lot worse. But he was looking forward to trying out their new bed. It was the one item they splurged on. They were both so used to sleeping on the thin twin sized mattress in their dorms. They wanted something large and comfortable that they couldn't wait to sink into after a long day. Something they could get lost in each other on. Their queen size bed along with the lovely black frame and headboard Harry had picked out were supposed to be here a few hours ago._

_"I'm sorry, love. I wanted our first night here to be perfect and now we don't even have a fucking bed."_

_"Our first night isn't ruined, Lou," He says, bringing his hand to Louis' scruffy jaw. He leans in and pecks his lips. "We can curl up together right here on the couch and sleep."_

_Leaning backwards, Louis falls to his back, his arms around Harry, pulling him down on top of him. He snorts. "This is just like sleeping in our dorms"_

_"Not even close. Our couch is more comfortable. Cheer up, Lou. We'll have our bed tomorrow. And we have this whole place to ourselves tonight," Harry's ringed fingers brush his hair back and Louis can't resist humming in approval at the feeling. "We can order takeout later and I'll make us those cookies."_

_The adoring smile on Harry's face causes Louis to shiver involuntarily. It's just, his boyfriend is truly incredible. Offering to make him cookies even after the long day they've had and after Louis is sitting here whining about the bed. He loves Harry with all of his heart. Actually, more than just his heart. His damn lungs, liver, spleen, every organ in his body. He loves Harry with all of it._

_So he tells him. At least the first part. He's allowed to get a little mushy today._

_"I love you, Harry. With all my heart."_

_"I love you, too." Harry affirms, with soft kisses to Louis' cheeks, forehead, his chin and nose. Everywhere his lips land, Louis thinks he can feel Harry's love as if it’s a tangible thing he can cradle in the palm of his hands. _

_Later, after they're full of Chinese takeout, and Harry's homemade cookies, they push all the boxes from the middle of the living room out of their way. They make love right there in the middle of the floor, and Louis thinks that even if they had a bed, they would have ended up right here anyway. They were too eager and desperate for each other to make it to the bedroom._

_ Their new throw pillows are used for the first time under Harry's back so it doesn't ache from Louis fucking him on the floor They cry out each other's names together, and despite Louis' being caught up in lust, he thinks their cries sound melodic bouncing off of the walls of their new home._

_He loves their new place. But he’s not sure he can quite say it’s what he defines as home._

_ It's Harry's arms around him like this as they're both lying on the couch half on top of each other as they try to find a balance and not topple over in their search for the most comfortable position to sleep. It's Harry. Harry is home._

_"Welcome home, Harry," he whispers before he finally lets the sound of Harry's heartbeat underneath his ear lull him to sleep._

*****

** Sunday **  


It is impossible for Louis to be upset about being woke up at the crack of dawn, when Harry is waking him up with gentle kisses to his cheeks, hair, and with soft petting over his chest and tummy.

"Come on, baby. We don't want to miss it. Today’s our last day," Harry muffles against Louis' neck before kissing the spot. "It'll be worth it."

"I'm up." He rolls over, still in Harry's hold. A fond grin touches his lips when he sees Harry's sleepy face and his mussed-up hair. "Morning, Haz." Leaning in, he gives Harry a chaste kiss, conscious of the fact that he still needs to brush his teeth.

"I'll get the tea made. We do need to get a move on." Harry's hand slides backwards, grabbing a supple handful of Louis' ass.

"That's not the best idea if you're really wanting us to get up," Louis snorts.

"True. We'll save that for later." After Harry untangles his limbs from Louis, he rolls out of bed stretching in all his naked glory.

Maybe Louis should suggest they stay here so he can appreciate this view. Forget watching the sunrise over the mountains. The black tattoos contrasting against Harry's creamy skin is far more alluring.

"See something you like?" A smug smirk rests on Harry's face as he slides one of his hands down to grip his junk.

"You're impossible," Louis groans out, grabbing the pillow and tossing it at Harry. To Louis' amusement, it whacks him right in the face. Louis laughs out. "Maybe now you'll behave. Hurry on and get my tea."

Harry grumbles something inaudible while he struts out of the room, but Louis is sure he heard something along the lines of "I'll make you behave."

When Louis stands up, he feels the slight soreness in his ass, reminding him of last night. He'd let Harry fuck him. They'd cuddled before finally showering together, which lead to them blowing each other, before calling it a night naked in each other's arms.

Louis can't find a single ounce of regret or anything other than happiness thinking about it now. Even knowing he told Harry he loves him isn't scaring him. He's either too happy to care or it's too early for him to process the enormity of what all occurred last night.

Glancing at the clock, he sees it's going on 5:30. He really does need to hurry if he plans on making the sun rise.

Heading to the bathroom, Louis takes a leak, and then heads to the sink to wash his face and brush his teeth. Once done, he heads back to the bedroom, digging around for something to wear. He settles on his black joggers and a grey sweatshirt with the Adidas' logo in white across the front. He might as well be comfortable since the only plans they have after this are to pack up, grab some breakfast and then make it to the airport to catch their noon flight.

Grabbing the blanket from the chair in the corner, Louis drapes it over his shoulder's then heads down to the kitchen. He finds Harry, thankfully dressed now, standing by the glass doors that lead to the balcony. Harry turns when Louis shuffles in.  
"Don't you look cozy? Hope there's enough room for me under that blanket." Harry steps forward to pass him a mug of tea, and Louis definitely isn't blushing. That's just the chill seeping in from outside pinking his cheeks up.

"Depends on how good this tea is." Louis cocks a brow as he cradles the cup in both hands, lifting it to his mouth. "You're probably going to need my warmth if you're going out in just that." He nods his head towards the long-sleeved black shirt Harry is wearing without a jacket.

"I'll be fine." Harry waves a hand through the air. With an expectant look, he then probes. "Well? How is it?"

"You can share the blanket." Louis chuckles and Harry turns back to slide the door open. The tea is made exactly the way Louis likes it, the way he always has drank it. After years of making tea for him, Harry has perfected his morning tea.

They both step out on the balcony. Louis shivers with the morning chill still present and the sky still predominantly dark. Louis walks past the wooden chairs, heading over to the two white cushioned chaise lounges in the far corner of the deck. Setting his tea on the black end table, he takes a seat and grabs the ends of the blanket in each hand and opens his arms up.

"Come here," He beckons to Harry who doesn't waste any time heading his way.

Harry sits his cup on the table then shuffles his way up into the spot between Louis' legs, his head falling back on Louis' shoulder as he lays back. Louis' arms come around Harry, wrapping him in both himself and the blanket. Louis already feels warmer now that his boy is cuddled up with him.

"Should be any minute now. I see the sky getting orangery down there," Harry softly announces.

"I see it too. Can't wait to see your pretty face in the sun." Where that came from, Louis doesn't know, but it's true. Everything feels right. He wishes for a moment they could say to hell with Texas and just stay here. He loves sleeping in, but he'd get up early every morning to watch this with Harry if it would be like this. If they could stay here in this moment, at this place where Louis fell in love with Harry all over again.

And there it is. He's in love with Harry, just as much as before. Or maybe even more now that he knows what losing Harry feels like.

Almost as if he's reading Louis' mind, Harry says, "I love you," before bringing his hand up to tangle his fingers with Louis'.

Louis cuddles Harry tighter and tilts his head down to kiss the top of Harry's head. "I love you too."

It's tempting to ask Harry if this is enough for them to possibly try again when they get back to their lives, but he doesn't want to put a damper on one of their last moments together if it isn't what Harry wants.

The sun begins peaking from behind the mountains, casting a bright glow to everything the rays kiss as it ascends slowly. Louis leans forward enough to see Harry wearing the most serene look on his face he's ever seen and that's saying a lot since Louis used to watch Harry doing yoga every day. The light is bright enough that it's reflecting in Harry's eyes, making the green of his irises look like two prehnite crystals, shining radiantly.

"You're so beautiful," Louis admits without hesitation. That gets Harry tilting his head enough to capture Louis' mouth in a kiss. One of Harry's hands slide up to the back of his head, gently tugging at his hair and Louis lets out a little hum.

They kiss like this for a little while, tongues sliding together, lips caressing each other’s, not with any heat behind it. Simply love.

When they break apart, Louis passes Harry his tea, then grabs his own. they sit in silence for a while, basking in the peacefulness all around them.

After a little bit, Louis taps Harry's leg gently. "I need more tea, Hazza. You need a refill?"

"I'm good. But could you bring me my red sweater? Should be in my suitcase on top." He sits up enough for Louis to get to his feet.

"I'll bring it." Kissing Harry once more, he heads towards the door, swinging his empty cup as he goes.

Once he gets inside, he sits the cup on the counter, deciding to get Harry's sweater first so his tea won't get cold. Knowing Harry, his suitcase is probably packed full of clothes and Louis is going to have to dig for it, despite Harry saying it would be on top.

Shoving Harry's room door open, he then walks over to the suitcase that's on the bed. It's unzipped so he flips the top open. Just like he thought, the sweater isn't on top. He tries to lift the folded shirts to scan underneath them without messing them up, but it's a lost cause. Sighing, he lifts the stack completely and sits them on the other stack of jeans. His search is halted when he sees a small velvet box that had been buried underneath the shirts. He picks it up, flipping it as he eyes it.

The thing is, he knows he shouldn't open it. This is literally a Pandora's box situation, technically a Harry's box situation, but he recognizes the jeweler's name on the bottom of the box. He knows it's a reputable brand, meaning a nice piece of jewelry must be inside. Curiosity gets the best of him and he opens the box.

Inside, sits a gunmetal grey ring, the open edges both trimmed by a thin black line. He lifts the ring closer to his face. It's a beautiful ring, no doubt, but Louis isn't sure why Harry has it in this box. Come to think of it, the ring doesn't look like Harry's typical shiny and flashy style of ring and it's clearly too small to fit Harry's finger. 

During his examining, he notices there's something engraved in the inner band, and again, Louis is in too deep to stop now. He heads to his room, box in hand. He grabs his glasses off the night stand and shoves them on. He takes the ring out of the holder and holds it up tilting it to read the engraving.

  
_Forever yours, Love, H._

It hits Louis like a ton of bricks when he realizes. Harry bought this ring for someone else. He's assuming it's a wedding band now with the inscription. Harry's really proposing to someone? Jealously courses through his veins. He starts to get angry, as he recalls Harry telling him last night that he hasn't been with anyone else before they fucked, and yet here Harry is with a damn engagement ring.

Maybe he didn't lie, Louis tries to reason with himself. Just because he says he hasn't been with anyone sexually; doesn't mean he isn't dating someone. 

Or about to propose to someone. 

Louis is losing his mind, and now all that's left for him to feel is sadness. He knew this wouldn't last, but the sting of knowing not only is he losing Harry, but practically giving him away to someone else, makes his stomach burn.

Louis lets out a shaky sigh, and he's definitely a sadist as he slips the ring on his left ring finger. The universe is surely laughing at Louis because the ring is a perfect fit.

He's got to ask. He has to know. Spinning on his heal, he heads out of the room and back downstairs.

He slips out the glass door again and Harry is still curled on the chaise underneath the blanket. Louis walks right over to the chaise, trying to tell himself to calm down, to breath.

Harry must be able to sense something isn't right. The blanket falls from his shoulders as he quickly stands up, brows knitted together with concern. "Louis, what's the matter?"

"Harry, what is this?" He lifts his left hand up, showing the ring he is still wearing. Probably should have taken that off. Along with his glasses, but here he is. 

All of the color drains from Harry, starting from his head and sinking down his entire body, down to his toes, making Louis feel queasy yet again.

"Just tell me, Harry. I can handle it." Feeling a little put out, he slips the ring off, holding it in the palm of his hands. "Saw the engraving, too. I just, I thought you said you weren't with anyone."

"Louis," Harry pauses, letting out a breath and bringing a hand up to his hair, brushing it back. "You weren't supposed to see that."

"I know, but I did. I just, after last night, I thought, things were different."

"Louis-"

"It's fine, Harry," he cuts him off. "I get it. It's okay."

"No, you don't get it. At all." Harry sits a hand on each of Louis' shoulders, looking down at Louis. "There is no one else. It's your ring."

"What?" Louis thinks he might faint. Or scream out into the mountains. "You were going to propose to me on this trip? Why? Oh my god, Harry, you're- why would you do that?" Louis is sure he looks insane and his eyes must be bulging out of his head with shock. Never would he have predicted that would be Harry's explanation. "We've been broken up."

"Not on this trip, Lou. Breathe, baby," Harry sighs, his hands starting to rub circles over Louis' shoulders. "I bought it before we broke up. I wanted to give it to you, but the timing was never right, and then things got bad and well, I shoved it in my suitcase and forgot about it."

Louis fishmouths, trying to process all of this. "I really fucked everything up, didn't I? We could have been engaged or fucking married by now and I couldn't sort out my shit and I kept pushing you away until you finally left."

"Louis, No," Harry assures him, shaking his head back and forth. "We've both made mistakes, and it's too late to fix them now, but there's also no use in dwelling on it now. Please don't blame yourself, baby." His strong arms pull Louis into a damn near crippling hug, but it feels good. Louis hugs Harry tightly back, his eyes clenched shut as he tries to let go of what could have been, what should have been. When he opens his eyes and looks at Harry, he decides to take Harry's advice and let go of what he can't change. At least it led him to Harry, in front of him, now. 

To sweeten it, Harry leans forward and presses a soft kiss to Louis' lips. When he pulls back, he grins, causing his dimples to jump out. "I hate to break this up, but we probably should start packing up now if we want to find somewhere to eat before we head to the airport. We still have to return the range rover too. I'm going to miss that car." He lets his arms drops to his side, about to turn for the door. "Are we okay?"

"Yeah, we're good." Louis nods his head, and they both start walking towards the door. Louis then realizes he's still holding the ring in his hand. "Oh, here. You can have this back." He holds it out to Harry. 

Harry shakes his head. "You keep it. It's yours. I don't have any use for it, and I really would never want it on anyone's finger but yours." Reaching out, he takes Louis' hand in his and Louis feels a chill run up his spine that can’t be blamed on the weather. "And if we're being really honest, I don't see how I could ever be anything but yours."

*****

Leaving the cabin was bittersweet just like Louis expected it would be. Not just the sadness of going home and not being with Harry anymore, but he’s also really missing his grandparents right now. He’d felt closer to them than he has in quite some time while staying in the same city where they met and fell in love.

Soft singing is coming from the driver’s side where Harry is humming along to the radio. Yes, he’d let Harry drive. Since it’s the last day. No one can ever say Louis isn’t sweet sometimes. He has to actively try not to grin stupidly or let hearts grow in place of his eyes. Fuck it. This is the last stretch; he’s going to fawn over Harry. He rests his hand on Harry’s thigh, causing Harry to quickly take his eyes off the road and throw him a grin back. “You sound good. Missed hearing you sing.”

“I’ve missed singing to you,” Harry says before grabbing Louis’ hand off his leg and bringing it up to his mouth to kiss the back of it. He then brings their hands back to his leg. “Have you decided where you want to eat yet?”

“Yeah, take a left at the next light.” Suddenly, Louis feels a bit lighter, the closer they get to the restaurant. He hopes Harry doesn’t feel weird about his idea, but he thinks Harry will appreciate it. Harry’s always been sentimental.

After Harry turns, Louis points up the road a little. “Up there, the restaurant on the left.” As the car approaches, Harry smiles wide before pulling into Leave Your Mark, the place they’d eaten at Tuesday. “Perfect last meal, Lou.”

Harry parks and they get out, strolling inside. Thank God the booth Louis wants is empty. Louis doesn’t wait for the hostess to return and seat them. He grab’s Harry’s hand and tugs him over to the booth, the one where his grandparents’ names are carved into the tabletop. 

They sit down across from each other and Louis immediately runs a finger over their names and the date again, just as in awe as he was the first time he saw it.

"What can I get you gentleman to drink?" a waitress interrupts them.

"A coffee for me," Harry answers.

"I'll have orange juice," Louis supplies.

“I’ll get those right out.” The waitress sits their menus down and heads off to fetch their drinks.

When Louis glances up, Harry is watching him with his head cocked to the side. 

"What?" Louis asks.

“Nothing. Just, thank you for bringing me here with you again. I know this place means a lot to you now.” Harry reaches across the table and rests his hand on top of Louis’. First, Louis squeezes Harry’s hand, then looks back to his grandparents’ names. Years and years of names and initials are etched into the entirety of the wood. The brief thought of where these people are now crosses through Louis’ mind.

There’s a small spot just below and slightly to the left of where William and Edna’s names live. Louis thinks they could make it work. He unwraps his silverware, taking out the steak knife.

His tongue is trapped between his teeth as he works the end of the knife into the wood. Without glancing up, he knows Harry is looking at him. Louis can sense his gaze.

When he’s finished, he looks up and instead finds Harry looking at the tabletop. Harry then glances at him and Louis carefully passes the knife to Harry. “Your turn. Switch sides with me.” He scoots out of the booth. Louis has to tap Harry’s shoulder to get his attention because Harry is staring at the knife like he’s never seen one before in his life. 

Harry clears his throat and finally stands, moving to the other side.

Once he gets seated, he starts carving under the place where Louis just did. Louis watches on, noticing Harry's Adam's apple bob in his throat. 

When Harry finishes, his eyes are a little red and misty as he clears his throat. “It’s done.”

  
_LT & HS  
9/03/18_

*****

Stepping off the plane in Texas, Louis basks in the sunshine and the warmer air. They’ve only been gone a week, but after being in their own little bubble of the world, everything feels slightly foreign here. Heading inside the airport, they stay together as they shuffle their way to baggage claim. Neither of them are speaking, and though Louis is comfortable with the silence, he wonders if it’s because they’re both unsure of what to say, or if they’re trying to soak in the last remaining minutes of their time.

Wordlessly, Harry grabs Louis’ bag off the belt and sits it on the floor in front of him and then he grabs his own. He lifts the handle and pulls it up, Louis following after him.

They’re wheeling their way towards the exit now. “So, did you drive here?” Louis struggles to keep up with Harry’s long strides while also pulling his heavy bag behind him. Harry slows his steps, glancing over his shoulder until Louis can catch up, then they start again at a slower pace.

"Took an Uber."

Louis nods, and bites his lip, walking through the exit door Harry holds open for him.

"Harry?"

"Yeah?"

"Um, what do we do now?"

"We go home."

“Right.” Louis looks down at his scuffed-up vans. “I can give you a lift if you need one. My car’s over there.” He points vaguely.

"Sure. That makes the most sense since we're going to the same place."

Louis nearly snaps his neck looking up. Harry's smiling brilliantly, dimples fully on display and eyes bright just like all the years Louis' has known him.

"Really?" Louis asks.

“If you don’t mind me moving in. Or you can move into my place. I don’t care which, but I don’t want to be away from you again.”

“Really?” Louis parrots again, and that gets Harry letting out a laugh before letting go of his suitcase and wrapping his arms around Louis’ waist instead. 

"Really, really. I'm kind of crazy in love with you."

Louis smacks his lips against Harry’s, hard. He shoves him back when he feels Harry’s hold on him tighten.

"If you lift me up and spin me around, I will leave you here."

"You wouldn't," Harry smirks. "But I don't want to find out if you're bluffing."

Harry lets him go, and they each take their suitcases, holding hands in between them with their other hands.

"Let's go home, Harry."


	10. Epilogue

_Three Years Later_

Harry and Louis smile at each other across the table. Every year since they got back together at the cabin, they’ve planned to come back to celebrate. This is the first year they’ve made it and this year, they have so many more reasons to celebrate.

“We have any more kids and we’ll outgrow this booth, Louis.” Harry looks at his husband of almost two years and then down at the sleeping girl in her car seat beside him. “Eva is still asleep, how about Willa?”

“She’s awake. But trying hard not to be. I’m glad they did so well on the plane. I wasn’t sure bringing two, one-month-olds on a plane was a great idea. But our girls are champs.”

“Willa is a champ, Eva is a princess.” Harry smirks at his lovely husband.

“Just like her daddy.” Louis grins and reaches down to unhook Willa Tomlinson Styles from her car seat, and he cradles her into his chest. “They are so perfect, aren’t they?”

“Yes, they are. Our girls are absolutely perfect and precious. They look adorable in their matching outfits too. This was a fabulous idea.” Eva starts to fuss in her seat and Harry is quick to pull her out and lay her against his chest. His smile is radiant, and he shares it with everyone at the restaurant. “Louis. I think we planned it just right. Bringing the girls. It’s time to add them to our family carving. Don’t you agree?”

“I do. I just don’t know if it’s as significant to them as it is us.”

“It will be. We’ll come back every year or every three years and remind them how important family is to us. To them.”

“Every three years sounds good. Harry, we don’t need to drown them in our past. All the girls will care about is their future. And that’s how it should be. We left our mark on this place and the girls are leaving their mark on us. This is what family does. My grandparents started coming here, now we get to bring our daughters. Eva and Willa Styles will grow up knowing this place, and one day, maybe they’ll bring their own families and share this part of our past.” Louis pauses at the look on Harry’s face. “What? What are you smirking at?”

“You. I love hearing you talk. You still have that passion that I both fear and love.”

“You’re right to fear me, Mr. Styles. I am formidable. Especially about my husband and children.” Louis tries to look all serious as he stares at Harry. But the sight of Harry holding Eva Tomlinson Styles, all soft edges and pure happiness, has Louis melting into a puddle. 

“Yes, Mr. Styles. I do believe you are. I love you. You talk about us leaving a mark on this place and our girls leaving their marks on us, but you, Louis, you left your mark on me the first time you tripped over my feet in class and it’s only gotten better since.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! We have been working on this fic for over a year and we are so happy to finally have it out there for anyone who reads it. Thank you if you've made it to the end. Every kudo, comment, rec makes us smile. Hope you enjoyed reading this weeklong adventure as much as we enjoyed writing it.


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